Life Goes By
by AlabamaBound
Summary: Gillian and Cal meet and fall in love. Will they live happily ever after or will fate drive them apart forever? Story is better than the summary. Callian all the way. Written for the NaNoWriMo challenge. Rated T for now, but could change later.
1. The beginning

**_~~A/N~~ This is a story about my thoughts of how Cal and Gillian met and finally fell in love. It fills in the blanks. From when they met and the present day. It's just my thoughts of how it could happened. Some things have been changed to fit the story and the characters might not behave in exactly the same manner as they do on the show. This is my little folly and how I imagine their love story started, continued and finally, ended. It wasn't easy and definitely not perfect, but love, in the end, will conquer all. It's a bit of an Alternate Universe story, so the characters might not be 100% accurate._**

**_As always, reviews are much appreciated and loved. Enjoy!_**

Sometimes, no matter how badly you might want something, it just isn't meant to be. At least not when you always want it. Sometimes, it's a matter of living life and learning that you need to take things slowly and gradually. Sometimes, life throws you curve balls when you least expect it. This is often the case in affairs of the heart.

Falling in love is never easy. Gillian knew that. Loving Cal Lightman was one of those cases. She's loved him for longer than she could remember.

***Flashback to 17 years before the show began***

They'd met back when she was a Senior in college. She was just finishing her thesis and had stopped in the coffee shop on her way to work one cold October day. Her parents had never approved of her going to college for Psychiatry. They thought that she should be a lawyer or a schoolteacher. Then she could marry a respectable man and settle down and marry.

They refused to accept that she didn't want to get married. At least not right away. She wanted to find the love of her life. She wanted to marry yes, but she also wanted a career. She couldn't accept that she'd be happy merely sitting at home all day waiting for her husband to come home. That was never Gillian's style.

In most cases, it's a chance meeting that changes someones life forever. The day that Gillian met Cal was no exception to this.

She was rushing to get to work. She'd been late getting out of class. Which was usually the case with her. She'd stayed to ask her professor a couple of questions and it took a bit longer than she'd expected. She'd opened the door and headed straight in without looking. She ran right into something solid.

She fell onto the floor and didn't open her eyes for a few seconds. She knew that she'd ran into someone, but was hoping against hope that it was a wall or some or inanimate object. Instead, she heard a man chuckle. She gathered up as much courage as she could manage and opened her eyes. When she did, she felt the wind rush from her lungs. She looked up at him and into his eyes and found herself unable to speak. She tried, but no words came out. Finally, she heard him laugh and say, "Hello luv."

Finally, her brain seemed to connect with her mouth and she said, "Hi."

She thought to herself, "_You sound like and idiot Gillian."_ Honestly, it was all she could manage at the moment.

She was saved from herself when he asked, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?"

She nodded and smiled at him, "Sure. Thanks." She was wondering why she sounded like a complete fool. Surely she could come up with something more intelligent than what she was managing.

He'd nodded and offered his hand to help her up off the floor. Then, they walked over to the counter together and placed their orders.

Cal smiled at her, "I guess I should introduce myself."

"That would be nice. I mean, since you are buying me a cup of coffee."

Cal had laughed, "I'm Cal, Cal Lightman."

Gillian smiled, "I'm Gillian Thompson."

"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Gillian laughed, "I'm just getting a cup of coffee before I have to head to work."

"Where's that?"

"I work at the bookstore on the corner."

Cal nodded, "I hope this isn't too forward, but I'd really like to see you again Gillian."

"Well, we did just meet."

Cal smiled at her softly, "I can tell that you want to see me again."

"I do, but..."

"But what?"

"Well, I only met you today."

Cal smiled brightly whispering, "Please?"

Gillian had smiled and it was then that she knew that she'd lost her heart to him.

It was a week later that she'd found herself in Cal's bed. She'd known that it was too soon. She'd tried telling herself that. Tried reasoning with herself. Telling her body not to have this kind of reaction to him. It was no use though. Her heart refused to listen to anything that her mind said. The first time they'd kissed, she felt an electric shock go through her body. He'd felt it too. Because he'd pulled back and looked at her whispering, "Wow."

It was that night that she gave herself to him completely. After wards, he'd whispered, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She hadn't wanted to tell him that she was still a virgin. That she hadn't yet found the right man to give herself to. Mind, body and soul. So, she whispered quietly, "I was saving myself for my special someone."

Cal pulled her close and kissed her deeply. They'd made love again for the second time that night. Gillian had never felt some complete before. She knew that she loved Cal and thought that he felt the same. However, as time went on, she knew that he was going to leave her. She'd felt it just as surely as she'd felt the seasons changing.

It was summer when it happened. He'd come to her apartment and they kissed as she let him inside. She'd noticed the difference when he didn't kiss her as passionately as he usually. She finally pulled back, "What's wrong Cal?"

Cal sighed heavily, "I'm getting married."

It was the first time in her life that Gillian had ever been unprepared for the rush of emotions that ran through her. The tears that came from her eyes seemed to appear without a second thought. She'd known that Cal hadn't loved her like she'd loved him. They'd simply been two people having sex. Incredible sex, but just sex nonetheless. She looked at him through watery eyes, "I thought we had something special."

Cal nodded and said, "We did. We do. It's just...."

"What Cal? What can you honestly tell me that would make me not want to hate you as much as I do right now?"

"She's pregnant. It was a one time thing. Before I met you and..."

"Get out."

"What? No Gillian, you can't mean that. I love you."

"And yet you're marrying her. What was I Cal? Just someone to keep you busy until she came back to love you again?"

"No Gillian, it wasn't like that."

"That's funny, because it's what it feels like. I love you Cal. I..."

It was then that she broke down completely. Wave upon wave of soul wrenching and earth shattering tears. She found herself unable to stop the emotions that washed over her. She felt as if she were being torn in two. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind she heard a whispered, "Gillian, don't cry love."

She spun around and whispered harshly, "Don't you dare tell me not to cry...."

Cal put his hand on her shoulder, "I never should've let us get this close. I'm no good at relationships. I..."

"That's a cop out and you know it Cal Lightman. These last six months with you have been heavenly. You're just too blind to see what's right in front of you."

Cal stared at her for the longest time. So long, that she began to grow uncomfortable with the attention. She wanted him to say something. Anything to take away the pain. She wanted him to tell her that it was all a dreadful dream. That he wasn't going to marry this other woman. That he wanted to grow old with her. That he loved her enough to make her his someone special. She knew that it was a fantasy though. A fantasy created in her own mind. no one like Cal could love someone like her. She wasn't what he needed.

"I should go now. I'll always remember what we had luv."

Unable to watch him go, she turned away from him and faced the window. The day seemed to be mocking her. How cruel was it that the sun shined brightly while her insides were growing increasingly dark and despondent? What cruel twist of fate was this? She heard the door open and with a final thud, heard it close behind him. It was then that she truly lost all control of her emotions. She threw herself onto her bed and cried a river of tears. Tears for a man that, she was sure, had never loved her the way she loved him.

After a few hours, she sat up and vowed that she would never give her heart to another man. It simply wasn't worth the pain.


	2. Moving On

**_~~A/N~~ This story is definitely a labor of love. It's pretty much done. I'm just going through and cleaning it up and bit before posting. I'm going to be posting at least 2 chapters a day. I hope you enjoy. If you do, just drop a little review my way. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter!!_**

Somehow, Gillian had muddled through that last year of her classes. She even managed to graduate with honors. She was offered and job with the government, which she happily accepted. She'd been working there for two years when she met the man that she would marry. Alec Foster was everything that Cal wasn't. He was predictable, dependable and safe. She wouldn't lose her heart to him the way that she did with Cal.

He' wined and dined her. It took him over six years to finally convince her to marry him. If anyone had asked her, she would've told them that she was just tired of him asking her. So, they married on a cold and rainy November day. The weather had matched her mood that day. That little voice inside her was screaming that she shouldn't do this. She shouldn't be marrying someone that she wasn't in love with. She knew that Alec loved her, but she didn't return the feelings. She hoped that, in time,she would grow to love him.

They'd been married almost two years when fate decided to throw another curve ball her way. She'd been called to a meeting with her boss. Apparently, there was a prime assignment that was just screaming her name. It was a great opportunity for advancement, something that Gillian had been looking forward to.

Cal was looking forward to meeting with Gillian Foster. According to her file, she was something of an expert at sniffing out the lies in suspects and victims alike. He'd spent his entire professional life searching out the truth on different faces. He was going to be starting his own firm and wanted someone to work with him. A partner.

He was sitting with his back facing the door when she walked in. He heard a gasp and then a whispered, "I don't think so. I'm not working with him."

Cal turned to see the face that haunted all of his waking thoughts and most of his dreams. The woman that he couldn't forget. No matter how hard he tried. He whispered softly, "Gilly..."

She gave him a steel hard stare and whispered, "Don't you call me that. You don't have a right to call me that anymore."

Cal stared at her for what could have been seconds, minutes or even hours. It was as if time stood still for them. No one else existed. No one else mattered. When he was able to breath again, he looked at her boss and said, "I'd like to talk to her in private please."

Her boss nodded and walked out of the room. They stood in the middle of the room. Neither willing or seemingly able to speak. It seemed as if there was too much to say, but nothing to say. All at the same time.

Cal watched as Gillian walked over to the window in the office and stared out it silently. He had a good idea that she was crying. He supposed that she had every right to. He'd hoped that she'd forgotten him. He'd had no idea that it was her that he was meeting with. He'd known her last name was Thompson. So, he supposed that she'd married somewhere along the way.

He walked over to her and whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

He knew what she meant. She wanted to know why he'd hurt her all those years ago. Truth be told, he was afraid. Afraid that she was too good for him. Too perfect. Too much of everything that he'd always wanted in a partner. So, when Zoe had told him that she was pregnant, he'd jumped at the chance to run. He'd never loved her. Not the way that he loved the woman standing beside him. He supposed that's why she barely spoke to him. Calling out another woman's name in the middle of making love to her would do that. If he was honest with himself, he was and always had been in love with the Gillian. He'd just been too much of a fool to realize it sooner.

Finally, he whispered, "I was stupid. I didn't know what a wonderful treasure I had until it was too late."

He heard her take a deep breath and then whisper, "Do you love her?"

Cal could've answered that question so many different ways. He could've lied and said that he did, but some part of him knew that she'd see right through him. She'd hear it in his voice. So instead he said, "I did at one time. I see that you got married. Do you love him?"

Gillian knew that she couldn't lie to Cal. He'd see right through her lies and subtle body language. So, she whispered, "I did. At one time. I think. No, I don't love him. Not really."

They were stuck in this no mans land. Somewhere between truth and uncertainty. Each knew that they wouldn't be unfaithful to their spouses. It was tempting. Even after all this time, they could feel their attraction for each other. However, too many people would be hurt by them acting on their feelings for each other.

"I don't think we should work together Cal."

"We're both adults. I for one can handle it."

Gillian looked at him with an unreadable expression. Something that he was not used to at all. He looked at her and she mumbled, "I don't think my heart can take it Cal. Not again. Do you know how it nearly destroyed me?"

"I'm sorry Gillian. I...

"Don't Cal. I don't think my heart can take it."

Cal looked at her for a few seconds before finally saying, "Please Gillian? I think we can be great together."

There was something in that softly spoken please that tugged at the final string holding her composure together. So, against her better judgment she said, "Tell me about the company."

Cal Lightman was excited again for the first time in nearly nine years. He sat down and started outlining the ideas for the company.

Gillian soon found out that she was going to have a few obstacles in her path. First and foremost was Cal's wife Zoe. She wasn't too happy about him taking Gillian on as a partner. Especially since she knew that it was Gillian he'd thought about during the early days of their marriage. She still suspected he thought about her just as much today. Gillian was, after all a very beautiful woman. Not the type she could see Cal with, but she was pretty in an average sort of way.

From day one Zoe set out to make Gillian's life a living nightmare. It wasn't so much what she did. No, it was more in what she said. Always making snide comments. Making sure to get the final dig in. Knowing that it was upsetting her, gave Zoe supreme satisfaction. The only thing she hadn't counted on was Emily.

Emily seemed to think that Gillian was the most wonderful woman she'd ever met. She would come to the office and literally hang on her every word. At first, Gillian had tried to discourage it, but it seemed that just caused Emily to grow more attached. She was definitely like her father in that respect.

It had gotten so bad that Gillian pulled Cal aside one day and talked to him about it. Zoe had enough reasons to hate her. She didn't need the fact that her daughter was growing attached to her to be added to the ever growing list.

She caught him in his office early one morning. She took a deep breath as she walked towards his desk. She smiled brightly and said, "Cal, can we talk?"

Cal had nodded, "Sure luv. What's on your mind?"

Gillian took a deep breath, "I need to talk to you about Emily." Gillian noticed the smirk that appeared on his face. She laughed, "It's not funny. I'm concerned about her."

"Is she in trouble or something? Cause you know, if she is I can ground her for life."

Gillian looked at Cal and laughed. Leave it to him to turn something serious into a joke. Although she supposed that's why, despite their past, they were able to work together. Sure, every now and then, some of the old feelings would creep back up on them, but, they managed to keep their feelings for each other fairly well hidden. She shook her head and said, "No. That's not it. I'm worried that she's been spending too much time with me. I don't want to upset Zoe."

Cal laughed and shook his head, "Zoe just gets naturally upset when it comes to you luv. It's a woman thing."

Gillian just looked at him, "That's not the point Cal and you know it."

"Look luv, I don't have time to deal with this today. I need to meet with the Senator from Ohio. Look, she's always going to be a pain in the ass. No matter how much you try to appease her. It won't work."

Gillian sighed, "So, I'm on my own."

Cal smiled at her, "Basically. I'll see you later."

She shrugged and walked away. No happier than she had been before.

At four o'clock, Emily bounded into her office. Gillian smiled whispering, "Right on schedule."

Gillian had decided to just go with Emily's hero worship of her. She hoped that sooner or later she would outgrow her need to be around Gillian.

Smiling at Gillian, nine year old Emily said happily, "Hi Gillian."

Despite her telling herself not to she smiled, asking, "Hi Em. How was school?"

"It was great. We learned how to divide. Did you know that math is fun?"

Gillian nodded, "Yeah. It is."

Emily went on and on about her day. Gillian continued to work while she talked. Occasionally stopping to help Emily with her homework. She truly loved this little girl.

She and Alec had hoped to have a child of their own. Despite trying everything known to man, they'd been unable to conceive. So, they'd finally decided to adopt. They had their little Sophie for fifty-seven days. Three days before the adoption would have been finalized. It had nearly destroyed Gillian. She'd retreated into her work. Alec seemed to be less affected by it. She wondered if he'd ever truly wanted children. They'd talked of trying again to adopt, but Alec always found a reason to put it off.

So, despite everything wanting to be a mother, she remained childless. She wondered if Cal and she would have had a baby if they'd stayed together. One with her hair and Cal's eyes. Maybe a little boy and girl. Now however, she knew that she couldn't have children. So, her dreams would never be fulfilled. She'd cried herself to sleep on more than on occasion.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Zoe asking, "Do you mind if I take _my _daughter now Gillian?"

Gillian sighed inwardly, replying, "Why would I mind? She's your daughter."

Zoe looked at her harshly, "Just so that you realize that Gillian. She's my daughter and Cal's my husband."

Gillian was quickly losing her patience with Zoe. She was sure that one of these days she was going to lose her cool and say something terrible. Something that she'd live to regret. Instead she simply smiled, "Of course."

Gillian's lack of a comeback threw Zoe off of her game. So, she simply turned and walked out of Gillian's office. Gillian laughed and stuck her tongue out at Zoe's retreating form,"Whatever Zoe. Cal's yours, but he used to be mine. I was just too stupid to trap him first. One day, he'll see you for the bitch that you are."

Gillian dissolved into a fit of laughter. She was glad that no one was in her office. They would've thought that she'd lost her mind. She hadn't. Not really. Although at times, dealing with Zoe made her feel like she was going to. With a final look at the door, she stuck out her tongue again and went back to work.

Her display hadn't gone unnoticed. Cal had seen the whole ugly scene. He'd promised that he wasn't going to interfere. Despite what he and Gillian had been to each other in the past, he was now married to Zoe. Despite the hell that their marriage had become. He'd taken to sleeping on the couch in his office on most nights. On the nights that he did go home, the fighting reached epic proportions. It constantly surprised him that the neighbors hadn't called the police. Not yet anyway. He supposed that one of these days, one of his more nosy neighbors would, see fit to call them.

He knew that the only reason they had stayed together this long was because of Emily. He often wondered what kind of environment this was for her. It wasn't as if he'd wanted to fight with Zoe. She just pushed every one of his anger buttons. Most of the triggers were as simple as her suggesting that he was sleeping with Gillian. The more he protested, the more convinced she was that it was the truth.

He supposed that it had everything to do with the fact that he and Gillian shared a romantic past. He couldn't do anything to change that. Not that he would. The time that he'd spent with Gillian had been something of an incredible time for him. He'd known true love. If only for a brief moment in time. Part of him wished that he'd never laid eyes on Zoe. Then, he and Gillian would've been together all this time. Then he remembered Emily. She was the only truly good thing to come out of his and Zoe's troubled relationship. He knew that if he hadn't met Zoe, he wouldn't have Emily.

That led to more thoughts. Would he and Gillian have had kids of their own? Would they be happily married or just as miserable as he and Zoe were? So many unknowns. He wished that he would've made better choices all those years ago.

Cal sighed as he turned the lights off in his office. This was one of those nights that he was going home. He didn't know what awaited him, but he had a feeling that it wasn't anything good. As he was leaving the office, he saw Gillian's husband walk into her office. He hadn't liked Alec from the first time that he met him. The man couldn't stop lying. To Gillian and to everyone in his life. He'd even lied to Cal on more than one occasion. He had a strange feeling that he was cheating on his wife. That was enough for Cal to hate him.

Anyone that would cheat on someone as lovely, both in body and spirit as Gillian, was a fool. A bloody fool. However, he knew that until Gillian realized it for herself, he couldn't say anything to her about the snake that she'd married.

Gillian sighed to herself when Alec had walked into her office. She really wasn't in the mood for him tonight. Most nights, she loved seeing her husband. Tonight, after dealing with Zoe however, she was in a foul mood. She'd rather be alone. However, she put on her best face and managed to at least appear cheerful, "Hi honey!! What a nice surprise."

Alec smiled, "I thought I'd see if you wanted to go out and grab some dinner."

Gillian started to say, "I'm swamped. I..."

Alec flashed her a toothy smile, "You have to eat. Come on Gilly."

She sighed inwardly. She hated it when he called her that. He only did it when he wanted to get his way with something. Instead of arguing, she simply gave in to him, "Fine. Let's go."

Alec smiled inwardly. He knew that she couldn't and wouldn't say no to him. She was putty in his hands and he could make her do or believe anything he wanted her to. Some lie detection expert she was. He'd been lying to her for years. The ink had barely been dry on their marriage certificate before he'd had his first affair. It had escalated from there. One after another. He'd lost count of the number of women that he'd slept with.

He was amazed at how easy she was to trick into believing anything he said. He supposed that he should feel guilty, but he didn't. Not really. He supposed that part of him did feel guilty, but that was a very small part of him. So small, that most days he could ignore it. There were times, like tonight that he would show her that he loved her. He supposed that he loved her. Maybe it wasn't love at all. Maybe it was just the fact that he'd grown comfortable with her over the years. He'd known that she didn't love him when they married. She was still pining away for someone else. The someone else that she now worked for.

She didn't realize that he'd known. He would've had to have been a fool not to know. The day she came home and announced that she and Cal were opening this ridiculous place he'd known. She'd never been as happy as she was that day. Not when they met and certainly not when they'd married. Hell, she hadn't even smiled that day. He'd always thought that brides were supposed to be happy on their wedding day. She hadn't so much as cracked a smile the entire day. The only time she smiled was during the pictures. He could tell that she was faking it. For his sake and their family and friends sakes.

Gillian hadn't wanted to be Gillian Foster. Not really. She wanted to be Gillian Lightman. He knew that. He sensed that. He'd also be damned if he'd ever let that happen. He'd rather stay married to her forever and make her miserable rather than let Cal Lightman have her. He knew that his fears were unfounded though. Because luckily Cal was also married.

Both of the fools were faithful to their spouses. Alec laughed and he knew that he'd laughed out loud when Gillian asked, "What's so funny Alec?"

"Nothing Gilly, nothing at all."

Gillian cringed again and had to resist the urge to punch him in the stomach. The way he said her name just then made her feel like a little kid. She didn't like the condescending tone of his voice. They walked out the door and she turned off the light....


	3. Heartbreak

**_~~A/N~~ Here's the latest chapter. I know that the first ones kind of drag a bit, but I promise that it does get better. It you're reading this, I thank you for sticking with me. Enjoy and as always, reviews are much appreciated. _**

The next morning arrived bright and early. Gillian hurried into the office and smiled when she saw that Cal was already there. She walked into his office and noticed that he had a considerable amount of luggage with him. She looked at him and raised and eyebrow and said, "Are you going somewhere?"

Cal looked at her with a expressionless face and said, "Apparently I'm no longer wanted at my house."

Gillian looked at him and said, "Cal, surely that's not true. I know that you and Zoe have your differences, but surely you can work this out. I..."

"Stop trying to fix this!! There's nothing you can do to bloody well fix this!!"

It was the first time that Cal had ever yelled at her. It took her by surprise and she whispered, "I'm sorry Cal. I..."

She knew that she had to get out of his office. Otherwise, she would burst into tears and that wouldn't help matters at all. She stood up and walked out of the office. Cal looked at the door and whispered, "Great. Just bloody wonderful. Can this day get any worse?"

He stood up and walked to Gillian's office. He didn't bother to knock. Knocking wasn't something he'd ever done. He saw her in her chair. She was facing away from the door. Despite not being able to see her face, he knew that she was crying.

He walked behind her, "I'm sorry luv. I didn't mean to upset you. I know that none of this is your fault. I..."

"Cal?"

"Yes luv?"

"Just shut up."

"What?"

"I said, shut up."

Cal laughed, "That's what I thought you said."

"I'm sorry about earlier."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm a mess because Zoe told me that she doesn't love me anymore. She doesn't know if she has for a long time. She wants a divorce. The sooner the better she said. Of course, we will share custody of Emily."

"I'm sorry Cal."

Cal nodded, "Thanks. I just can't believe it. I never thought. Well, maybe I did, but I hoped that this wouldn't happen. Why did I have to leave you all those years ago? We would've been perfect together Gil...."

They'd moved over to the couch. It was then that they did something that neither one swore they would ever do. They kissed. Somehow, it felt right. The kisses led to touching. Then, before it could get out of control, Gillian pulled back and whispered, "I can't do this Cal. No matter how much I really want to. God. Do you know what your kiss does to me? It makes me want to do things I've only dreamed about."

Cal looked at her tenderly, "I know and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"You shouldn't have, but I'm glad that you did."

"You are?"

"I am. Because it gives me hope."

"Hope?"

"Hope that you still love me. I just wish I wasn't married. God Cal. Do you know how easy it would be to tell Alec that I want a divorce?"

Cal nodded and then he whispered, "I can't be the reason for breakup of your marriage Gilly."

She shivered when he called her that. Unlike when Alec called her that, she loved hearing it come from Cal's mouth. She knew that he used it as a term of endearment. How easy would it be for her to forget her marriage vows and fall back into bed with him.

Cal was thinking enough for both of them, "We can't do this. I'm still married even though we are getting a divorce. And you..."

Gillian looked at him, "I don't want to think about it Cal. Please? Don't make me think about him. I only want to think about you. To make you feel better. Please?"

Cal felt her hands on his chest. He closed his eyes and moaned softly. How many times had he dreamed of this. God, it would be so easy to let her keep touching him. Who would it hurt? It had been too long since he'd made love to someone that loved him. So, despite everything else telling him no, he gave in to temptation. They made love right there in his office. The only witness was the office furniture. When it was over, they sat on the couch snuggled close. He looked at Gillian and expected to see regret. However, what he saw shocked him. He saw love. Bright and shining there in her eyes. It shook him to his very core. He leaned down, kissed her and whispered, "I love you sweetheart. I've always loved you."

"But..."

"But, this can't happen again. I want you when you're free to love me."

Gillian felt a tear run down her cheek. She kissed him deeply, "I've always loved you Cal. I wish that I was free to love you. I've never loved Alec. At least not the same way I've loved you."

Cal nodded, "I love you Gilly. Never forget that. Always have luv. Always will"

"I won't."

Gillian and Cal stood up to get ready for the work day. They smiled tenderly at each other as Gillian went to her office. Neither spoke of that day again. It was there, in the back of their minds, but it wasn't something that they ever brought up.

A few years passed and Gillian couldn't ignore that facts that were right in front of her. Alec was having an affair. She suspected that he had been for years. She kept hoping that he'd ask her for a divorce, but he never did. She stuck with him because it was all she'd known for so many years. Maybe, just maybe there would be a day that she wouldn't have to settle for second best.

She flipped on the radio at the same time that Cal did. They both heard the same song and smiled. It was "Never Gonna Be Alone" by Nickelback. The lyrics somehow seemed to fit the moment.

_**Time, is going by, so much faster than I  
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of here with you  
Now I'm wondering why I've kept this bottled inside  
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you  
**__**So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know**_

Cal bit his lip and looked out the window. Why on earth had he fallen for Zoe? He knew the answer to that question. He's asked himself that question a thousand and one times. He'd never been "in love" with her. Not like he was with Gillian. With Gillian, it was like nothing he'd ever known before. He would give everything he had for a chance at single second of happiness with her. He'd love to have children with her. To make love to her into the late hours of the night. To not feel ashamed at what they'd done.

He wanted to spend forever with her. That much was evident, but she was off limits. So, he would be there for her. It would simply have to be as a friend. Because that's all she could off limits. He sighed and put his head in his hands and sighed. He definitely felt like shit. That much was evident. He'd rather be her friend than nothing at all. At least he could love her from afar. He regretted not telling her how he felt. He knew that if things had been different, he would've went into her office and asked her to marry him. He couldn't ruin her happiness. Even if it was a false happiness. She was happily married to a decent man. He was a cheater, but she seemed happy with him.

Gillian wished that she was strong enough to walk into Cal's office and tell him that he was all the she'd ever wanted. She'd loved him since the first day they'd met. However, she knew that there were too many things that would stop her. She did, she suppose, love Alec. Maybe on some primitive very basic level. He did provide a level of comfort.

She wished she could tell him how much she loved him. When had her life gotten so complicated? Why had she married Alec? She'd known that she wouldn't be happy with him. Truth be told, she'd always known that she wouldn't be happy with anyone but Cal. She settled on Alec. Convinced that she'd never see Cal again. If only she could go back and change everything.

Wishing wouldn't make her dreams come true. So, she went back to her mundane existence. Alec's wife and Cal's partner.

One night, after a few too many drinks, Gillian and Cal ended up in bed with each other. It wasn't something that either one of them had ever wanted to happen. After it was over, Gillian looked at Cal and whispered, "Why can't I keep my hands off you? Sometimes you're all I think about. All I dream about."

"Probably the same reason that I can't keep you out of my thoughts and dreams."

"I love you Cal Lightman. Forever and always."

It was a few months later when Gillian knew that something was wrong with her. She'd been getting sick on a hourly basis. She'd thought that she had the flu. So, she called into work and crawled between the sheets. She'd made an appointment with her doctor for later in the afternoon.

She walked out of the doctors office stunned. She was pregnant. She couldn't be pregnant. She and Alec hadn't had sex in months. She was almost three months pregnant. She knew that the baby was Cal's. She couldn't have a baby. Much less with Cal. She knew that Zoe would have a fit if she found out.

She sat on the toilet of their bathroom. She was crying and couldn't seem to stop. All these years she'd wanted a baby and then, in a cruel twist of fate, she was pregnant with a baby, by a man that she couldn't love. She knew that she had some major decisions to make. Decisions that would effect everyone.

However, as usually happens, fate was not with Gillian. She woke up late that night in incredible pain in her stomach. She grabbed her stomach and cried. She made it to the bathroom and then she felt a gush of liquid. She looked down and was shocked at the amount of blood there on the floor. She held onto the bathroom counter until the wave of pain passed. She managed to pick up the phone and call Cal. She whispered, "I need you."

Later, it would strike her as ironic that she didn't call Alec. He was her husband after all, but she knew that he wouldn't rush to be with her.

Cal was there in record time. He rushed into the bathroom. He took one look at the mess on the floor and said, "What in bloody hell...."

"I'm having a miscarriage."

"You're pregnant?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Yes." Another pain hit her and she closed her eyes.

"Let's get you to the hospital luv."

She held onto him as he carried her out to the car. Her heart breaking with each step that he took.


	4. Won't Let You Fall

_**You're never gonna be alone from this moment on**_

_**If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall**_

_**You're never gonna be alone, I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone**_

He loaded her into his car and drove a bit faster than he should have. He had a thousand questions running through his head. He'd had no idea that she was pregnant. He looked at her in the passenger seat and felt his hear breaking for her. He reached over, took her hand and gave it a squeeze. It killed him to see the look of complete sadness that came to her face.

No words were said. None were necessary. Gillian kept her eyes closed tightly. Afraid that she would see the questions in Cal's eyes. Questions that were better left unasked. Maybe it was better that she was losing this baby. She never would've been able to stay married to Alec. Not while she was having another mans baby. The man that she really loved. She bit her bottom lip as another strong cramp hit her. She sucked in a deep breath. This time Cal whispered, "We're almost there luv. Just hold on."

Gillian nodded and closed her eyes again. They pulled up to the hospital and Cal rushed over to her side of the car. She was glad that he helped her out. Because, she didn't know if she could support herself.

After a few steps, it was clear to Cal, that she was took weak to manage walking. So, he bent and picked her up. He carried her the rest of the way to the hospital. She laid her head against his chest. She was deathly still. It frightened Cal. He wasn't used to Gillian being like this. She was usually so full of life.

They finally reached the entrance and Cal called out to the nurse on duty, "We need help! She's having a miscarriage."

Suddenly, they were surrounded on all sides. An orderly took Gillian from his arms and rushed her back behind the heavy metal doors. He watched them swinging back and forth. Finally, they stopped and Cal was left staring at them. He knew that he should move and sit, but he couldn't bring himself too.

Finally, after a few more minutes, he managed to make his way over to the chairs. He knew that he was a sight. He knew that he had blood on his clothes. Gillian's blood. It unnerved him. It made him realize how much he loved her. If anything happened to her...

He couldn't allow himself to have those thoughts. She was going to be fine. He knew that she'd be fine physically, but not emotionally. She'd always wanted a baby. Then he wondered something that he'd never dare ask her. Was it his baby? That thought nearly made him cry and cal Lightman was a man that rarely ever cried. There were only a few things in his life that brought him to tears.

Emily, was one of those things. Another was the woman that was behind those bloody doors.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been waiting there before the doctor came to get him. The doctor looked at him with an incredible sadness in his eyes and said, "I'm sorry sir. We couldn't save the baby."

"Gillian?"

The doctor smiled and said, "She's going to be okay. However, she's lost a lot of blood. She'll need to rest for a few days. Emotionally however, it will take her longer to recover."

Cal nodded and then asked, "Can I see her?"

The doctor nodded and led him to her room. She was curled up on the bed and Cal could hear the muffled sounds of her crying. He sat beside her and took her hand. She didn't open her eyes when she said, "It's all my fault."

Cal leaned down and whispered, "It's not your fault luv. These things happen. Maybe this wasn't the time."

Gillian swallowed hard and whispered, "It was yours. I'd just found out yesterday. That's the reason I called in sick. I..."

"Hush luv. You need your rest."

Hearing her sobs broke Cal's heart. He wanted to take away all of the pain that she felt. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the cheek, "It's not your fault."

"It is. Because I slept with you while I'm married. I'm being punished. I..."

"Shush Gilly."

Gillian closed her eyes tightly. Then she whispered, "I'd like to be alone."

Cal thought about protesting, but she looked so desperately sad that he didn't have the heart to argue. So, he leaned down and kissed her cheek again. Before he laughed he whispered, "I'll be back in a little while."

Gillian closed her eyes tighter. Trying to block out everything around her. She didn't want his pity. She wanted his love. She'd wanted this baby. Even if they couldn't be a true family, at least she'd have a part of him to love forever. Now, that was never going to happen. She also knew that they could never be together. She was damaged goods. She'd always known that. She thought that maybe it was just something that she and Alec had trouble with. She knew now, that it was her. She was damaged and couldn't carry a baby to term. The sooner that she accepted that fact the better.

She cried herself to sleep that night. Cal came back into her room and grabbed her hand. He'd hated leaving her alone here, but he felt that it was for the best. She slept for nearly an hour while he watched her sleep. She was absolutely beautiful. Even more so than when she was awake. There was something about watching her while she slept. All her guards came down. He was able to see her face without the worry that seemed to constantly be etched there.

When she awoke, she smiled sadly, "I'm sorry." The tears started again. She closed her eyes and said, "I can't seem to stop crying."

"It's understandable after what you've been through."

"I wish I could've done something to keep from losing our baby."

He nodded , "It's not your fault luv. There will be other chances luv."

She shook her head and said, "I'm afraid there won't be any chances for me Cal. This is the fifth miscarriage I've had in the last few years. I'm just not meant to be a mother. I thought that maybe it was just Alec's baby that I couldn't have. Now I think it's all my fault. I'm defective."

Cal looked at her and could barely stand the pain that he saw in her eyes. She truly believed every word that she'd just spoken. That's what made it difficult to watch. She wasn't lying or being deceitful, she believed that there was something wrong with her.

He looked at her, "It's not your fault Gilly."

She loved when he called her that. It made her feel happy inside. However, she didn't want to feel happy right now. She wanted to cry at the empty feeling inside her. She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it softly. She whispered softly, "I love you."

Cal searched her eyes and it was then that he knew she was telling the truth. She loved him. Even after everything that he'd put her through when he left her. She loved him. It was hard for him to believe, but he saw it in her eyes. It shined brightly and he whispered, "I know luv."

"I wish things were different. I wish I could be with you."

"If only I'd made better choices luv."

Gillian nodded and closed her eyes and fell back asleep.

Cal watched her as she slept. He'd always known that she was still in love with him. They'd managed to keep their feelings in check. Except for those two nights in the office. He'd thought about those nights ever since. He wished that she wasn't' married so they could be together forever.

Until she made the first move of ending her marriage, he wouldn't say a word. He knew that it would be so easy to ask her to leave Alec, but he wanted her to leave him for herself. Not for him. It wouldn't be fair to either of them if she left him because he asked her to.

He sighed and closed his eyes and decided to get some sleep.

He awoke a few hours later when he heard Zoe say, "Isn't this a cute little picture!"

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and asked, "What are you doing here?"

She gave him a look of annoyance and said, "I should be asking you that. Shouldn't her husband be here with her?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but he's out of town on business."

"Convenient."

He flashed her a look of annoyance and asked, "Is there a point to this visit or did you just come to check up on me?"

Zoe shook her head in disgust and said, "I'm leaving for a business trip and I need you to watch Emily."

"Of course, let me just let her know that I'm leaving."

"I'll be waiting out the in the other room."

Zoe turned on her heels and walked out of the room. She truly hated Gillian Foster. Mostly because she knew that, it was her that Cal really loved. He'd never loved her. Not really. Not in the way that he loved her. She was only lucky enough to have a baby with him. It didn't promise love or forever.

Zoe watched as Cal approached her, "Was she upset that you're leaving?"

"Should she be?"

"I would've been if my lover was leaving."

Cal sighed, but said nothing. It wasn't worth fighting with her over it. Besides, it was partly true. They had once been lovers. It would be so easy to slip back into the role again. Maybe a little too easy.


	5. Nothing I Could Need

_**And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands**_

_**'Cause forever I believe  
**_

_**That there's nothing I could need but you  
**_

_**So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know**_

Gillian woke early the next day. She felt like she'd been run over by a truck. She'd almost forgotten what happened when Cal walked into the room. He had a sort of half smile on his face, "You okay luv?"

She started to nod, but suddenly lost her composure. The tears started rolling down her face. She knew that she shouldn't cry, but somehow she was unable to stop. Whenever she looked at Cal, all the what could've been and should've been came rushing back.

She looked at him sadly, "I need to take a few days off of work."

Cal nodded, "Whatever you need. The most important thing is you getting better."

She thought to herself, "_I'm never going to get back to normal. I'm never going to have a baby or the man that I truly love." _She noticed that Cal was staring at her, "I'll be fine Cal. Really. I just need a few days to regroup. To get my heart back in shape."

"Okay. As long as you remember that you have people that are here waiting for you at work. You also have people that love you."

Gillian smiled sadly and thought, "_Except for the one person that I really want to love me. At least openly and honestly. That's never going to be." _Instead she said, "I know."

"The doctor said that you could be released today. Do you want me to take you home?"

She shook her head,"Alec is going to come get me."

She saw an unreadable expression on his face. She wasn't sure if he was upset or just glad that someone besides himself was going to be taking her home.

She closed her eyes and said, "I should get up and get ready to go."

Gillian said nothing to Cal about her plans. She wasn't coming back. She was leaving. Running away. She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't take loving him, but not being able to show her love on a daily basis. It wasn't worth all the pain she constantly felt. She was going someplace where she could live her life by herself. Someplace where she wasn't constantly reminded of what she'd lost and what she'd never have. Someplace that she wasn't tormented by her thoughts of him. Day in and day out.

Cal turned to walk out of the room, but not before he said, "Don't do what you're thinking about doing."

"How do you know what I'm thinking about doing?"

"Because it's the same thing I've been wanting to do since the first day I saw you again."

"You can't possibly mean that."

"I do. I've wanted to whisk you away from this place. Just the two of us. I want to be able to make love to you all night long and not worry about tainting you. I want to hear you call out my name when I make you feel things that I don't have the right to make you feel right now."

As he was talking to her, his hand traveled to her cheek and caressed it softly. Her eyes closed and she moaned softly at his touch. She bit her bottom lip. His touch was so soothing that it was as if she was being touched by an angel. When she opened her eyes, she saw the love shining there. Then she whispered, "I can't do this everyday Cal. To love you and not be able to tell the world. It would easier to leave."

"Easier for who? Because I know that I wouldn't be able to function. Sometimes, you're the only thing that keeps me coming to work everyday."

Gillian shook her head, "You love what your work. You'd forget me soon enough."

"Not a chance luv. I'd have to grow a new heart and even then I'd remember how wonderful we were together."

She closed her eyes as she felt him drawing her closer. His hands wrapped around her neck and she heard him whisper, "I'm going to kiss you."

"Good."

"I just wanted to give you a chance to stop me."

"What if I don't want to stop you?"

"Then you better tell me."

Gillian swallowed hard and whispered, "Kiss me Cal. Please?"

She closed her eyes and she felt his lips press against her. She felt as though she'd gone to Heaven. She wondered if it was some kind of dream. If it was, she never wanted to wake up from it. She felt his tongue press against her lips, begging for entry. She granted it happily and he took it greedily. They couldn't get enough of each other that night. No matter how much they tried, they couldn't deny the attraction they felt towards each other.

Finally, Gillian pulled back and looked at him tenderly, "Wow."

Cal was speechless and finally managed to croak out, "That was bloody wonderful. I've never kissed anyone quite like that before."

"What are we going to do Cal?"

"I don't know luv. I just know that I can't deny the way I feel about you. We've tried for too long and look where it's gotten us."

"We're both miserable." Gillian took his hand and held onto it tightly. Then she whispered something that she never thought she'd say, "We'll have to keep it our secret."

"You can't mean that luv. It wouldn't be..."

Before Cal could say anything else, Gillian leaned forward and kissed him again. All protests were cut off and she pulled back and smiled at him. Then he said, "I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep my hands off of you. God Gilly, do you know what you do to me?"

She nodded and said, "You do the same thing to me."

She took his hand and held it to her heart. She smiled at the look on his face. Then he whispered, "Bloody hell if this isn't extremely unprofessional. We, I need this. I'd feel better about this if you weren't married."

"Alec has been cheating on me for years."

This surprised Cal and he said, "You knew?"

"I'd have to be blind not to know. It's easier to stay married to him. Rather than have to deal with getting divorced."

"Divorces aren't so bad. They grow on you after awhile."

Gillian laughed, "You're terrible. I can't do it though Cal."

Cal nodded, "It's understandable luv."

They leaned in and kissed again.

This went on for years. In the middle of their affair, they hired Eli Loker. He was the typical rich kid. He came from a wealthy family. He was cocky and self assured. Cal had been unsure about hiring him. Gillian however, rallied around him and finally convinced Cal that hiring him was the right idea.

"He'll be fine Cal."

"If you think so, I don't know why you put so much faith in him. Unless you want to shag him."

She laughed at him, "You know, if I didn't love you so much I'd hit you. Plus, I'm already shgging the one that I love."

Cal looked taken aback and said, "You are? Do I know him?"

"Oh, I think so. He's tall. Not too dark and incredibly handsome. He makes my heard skip when I look at him."

"Really? Doesn't sound familiar at all. I might have to see about him. Make sure he's worthy of you."

Gillian smiled at him tenderly, "I love you, but you know what I want?"

"Heaven only knows. Let me guess, an orange slushy or chocolate pudding."

She laughed and said, "Nope."

"Do I at least get a bloody hint?"

"Maybe..."

"You're cruel."

"So you tell me."

"Think of something else that makes me happy."

"No. Please tell me you don't want that. I'll do anything but that."

"Please Cal? For me."

"You're a cruel woman."

"And yet you love me anyway."

He stood there for a few moments and finally said, "You're right, I do. I have to in order to get that stupid movie for you. Let alone watch it."

She watched as he walked out of her office and smiled. How she loved that man. Not only was he her best friend, but her lover too. They made love at least five times a week. Whenever she could sneak away from Alec.

She leaned back and closed her eyes. She knew that one day, their affair was going to have to either come to an end or evolve to the next level. It would happen in a way that no one would ever expect.


	6. Starting Over

It happened on a cold January day. Cal and Gillian had just got to work when Gillian got an unexpected phone call. Cal met her in the office and was nibbling on her neck. She smiled, "I don't think it's a good idea to be doing this."

"Maybe not, but it's definitely fun."

"Mmmmmm, it is, but it's not a good idea. Anyone could walk in here."

"Scared that you might get caught doing something more than kissing?"

She laughed softly, "Hardly, but I'm still a married woman."

"You had to mention that."

She watched as Cal walked over to the window and she could see the emotions seeping through him. She wished that she was strong enough to end her marriage. A marriage that was one of... What was it? Convenience? Hardly. Habit? Probably. It was kind of like an old shoe that you couldn't get rid of. No matter how hard you tried. It was always going to be there.

Part of her was afraid to divorce Alec. What if this thing with Cal didn't work out? Which, she knew was a crazy way of thinking. Because, in the past three years, their relationship had only grown stronger. Which is why the phone call she received, both scared and thrilled her.

She looked at the phone ringing on her desk, "I need to get that."

Cal turned around, "Go ahead."

She smiled sadly, "I love you."

Cal nodded and thought to himself, "_Just not enough to leave your ass of a husband and marry me. The man that truly loves you." _

He watched Gillian as she talked on the phone. He noticed how her face turn a ghostly white color. He rushed over to where she now sat and mouthed, "Are you okay?"

She didn't seem to hear him. She clutched the phone in her hand with a death grip. Cal shot her a worried look. Finally, he was able to pry the phone out of her hand. She still stared straight ahead and didn't say a word. It was a few long moments before Cal dared to ask, "What's wrong luv?"

She shook her head, "I..."

Cal looked at her, "You're scaring me luv."

Instead of answering him, she burst into tears. Great gulping sobs that seemed to tear her apart. Cal knelt in front of her and looked up at her asking, "What's the matter luv?"

He barely understood the words that came out of her mouth, "I t-tried... I didn't mean for it to happen... I..."

"Whatever it is we will work through it."

"You're going to leave me. I just know it. You didn't ask for this. Any of this."

Cal shook his head, "Listen to me. Nothing is going to make me leave you."

"I don't know about that."

"Try me."

"I don't know how it happened. I was so careful. I didn't even think that it could be that. It's been so long since the last time. I just thought that I couldn't...."

"Couldn't what?"

"Couldn't get pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant Cal. The doctor says that I'm about three months along."

Gillian watched as Cal fell onto the floor. He truly looked as if all the air in his body had been knocked from his lungs. Finally he whispered, "You're sure."

"Well, the doctors positive. You know I haven't been feeling well lately. I thought that, well I didn't know what I thought. Anything but this."

Cal was speechless and then he saw the tears spring to her eyes. He whispered softly, "A baby? Our baby...."

"Are you mad?"

"God no luv!! I'm shocked. Surprised, but not mad. Never mad. I love you Gilly. I'm going to love our baby just as much."

It was then that the enormity of what they'd been doing hit her. She whispered the one word that struck terror into Cal's heart, "Alec."

"How are you going to tell him."

"I don't know. I have to. Then, I need to ask him for a divorce. I can't stay married to him Cal."

"And when you're free. Will you marry me then?"

"Nothing would make me happier."

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, a little voice said, "_Don't get too happy. Remember what happened last time. You lost the baby as soon as you found out about it." _

Gillian decided to push that particular voice to the back of her mind.

She drove home that night and was surprised when she saw Alec's car in the driveway. She parked her car and walked inside. She smiled at him, "This is a nice surprise."

Alec flashed her a look of contempt, "Is it? Is it really?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I'm surprised to see you here tonight. I figured that you'd be at your lovers house."

"What?! Alec you're crazy. I don't have a lover."

She walked over to him and put her arms around him. She kissed him, "I love you Alec."

He flashed her a look something between scorn and contempt, "Save it Gillian. I know that you've been sleeping with Cal for awhile now. Probably since you and he started that damn company together."

"I..."

"Well, you know what Gillian? I've been sleeping around on you too. Almost since the day we got married."

"Why?"

"I knew that you didn't love me. You couldn't love me. Not when you've been in love with Cal Lightman since before we met."

"I don't know what to say."

"You said it all the day we got married."

"What did I say?"

"You were sleeping and you called out his name. Then, you said that you would always love him and only him. I'd known that you didn't love me. That only confirmed it."

"I'm sorry Alec."

"No, I'm the one that's sorry. I wasted nearly eleven years on someone that can't even give me a child. I want out Gillian. I've found someone else."

"Okay....."

Alec looked at her, "Okay... That's all that you can say?"

"I don't want to hold you to me. Especially if you've found someone that can give you everything you want."

"I've already got my things packed and in the car. Goodbye Gillian."

"Bye Alec. I'm sorry that it ended like this."

"Me too."

Gillian watched as he walked out of the house. Somehow, she felt strangely sad. As if one chapter in her life was closing. She hoped that the next chapter was going to be happier.


	7. Worries & Slushies

Three months passed and Gillian and Alec's divorce was finalized. She'd given the house and all the furnishings to Alec. She hadn't wanted to have anything to remind her of him or their life together.

She was over six months pregnant and she couldn't have looked or felt better. She truly loved every second of being pregnant. She especially loved the way Cal looked at and treated her. It was like she was a Princess. She walked into her office and sat down on the couch. She'd just gotten back from her latest doctors appointment. Cal had wanted to go, but something had come up at the last minute on a case they'd been working on.

She closed her eyes and must've fallen asleep, because the next thing she knew, she was being shaken away. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw her stepdaughter, Emily, smiling at her. She asked, "How's the baby doing?"

Gillian stretched, "The baby's doing great. Growing bigger everyday."

Emily smiled, "That's good. Dad will be happy."

Gillian looked at her softly, "How do you feel sweetie? I know this can't be easy on you."

"Honestly? I'm glad that you and dad got married. I'm happy I'm going to be a big sister."

"I hear a but in there though."

"I'm just afraid that you and dad are going to forget about me once the baby comes."

Gillian looked over at her, "Sweetheart, we could never forget about you. You're going to be an important part of the baby's life."

Emily looked down at her lap. Gillian knew that there was something that Emily wasn't telling her. She put a finger under Emily's chin and lifted it up, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Emily. You can talk to me about anything. You know that right?"

"Yeah. It's just that mom said.."

"What did she say?"

"She said that you and dad were going to be too busy with the baby and that you wouldn't want to see me anymore. And that..."

It was then that Emily burst into tears. Gillian gathered her close, whispering, "Emily, that's not true and you know it. Your dad and I both love you. Very, very much. This baby isn't going to replace you. No one could ever do that."

"Really?"

"Really. Your dad and I love you very, very much. Now, I suddenly have a craving for a grape slushie. Would you mind getting us one?"

Emily scrunched up her nose asking, "Can I get a cherry one?"

Gillian smiled told her, "Sure. Let me get the money."

Emily smiled as she watched Gillian struggle to get up. She laughed, "I'll get this one Gill. You bought last time."

Gillian laughed and said, "Thanks. The thought of trying to get up right now is daunting."

Emily laughed, "Oh and I have a question to ask you when I get back."

Gillian smiled and watched as Emily left the room.

Emily thought back to the day that Gillian her dad told her that they were getting married.

They had her over for dinner that night. By that time, she was used to the two of them living together. She noticed that the two of them looked especially nervous that night. She laughed and asked, "Is there something wrong?"

Her dad had shook his head and Gillian had avoided the question altogether. She gave them a weird look. Something was going on. That much was clear, but she knew better than to press her dad or Gillian for answers. She figured that they'd tell her when they were ready.

She went out to the living room and sat down. Flipping through the TV channels. Not finding anything worth watching, she settled on a music channel. She heard them talking in whispered voices. She wished that she knew what they were saying. Finally, she couldn't stand it any longer. She walked into the kitchen, put her hands on her hips asking, "Is there something you guys want to tell me?"

Gillian looked at Cal with panicked, almost a terrified look. It was then that she started to worry. She looked her father, "One of you are dying. I knew something was wrong."

Cal looked at her and shook his head, "We have something that we need to tell you. Something that's going to change all of our lives."

Emily sat down, "Okay...."

Gillian looked at her, "I want you to know that I love you Emily."

"I know that. I remember how you used to let me sit in your office after school. Even when mom used to tell dad that she didn't want me there."

Gillian looked at her, "She did?"

Cal looked at Gillian nodding, "She did. She didn't like how close the two of you were getting to each other."

"I never knew that. I suspected as much..."

"It's okay Gilly. I wouldn't have stopped her from coming to the office."

Emily smiled at the nickname that her dad called Gillian. She'd known for awhile that her dad and Gillian were in love. She was glad that it happened, because for awhile there, it looked like her mom and dad were going to get back together. That would have been awful.

She smiled when she heard Gillian say, "I'm glad."

"What does that have to do with what you want to tell me?"

Cal smiled, "Well, we wanted to tell you that Gillian and I are getting married."

Emily smiled , "Yay!!!"

She jumped up and hugged Gillian and her dad. Then she got some even more shocking news.

Gillian smiled, "We have something else to tell you."

"What?"

Gillian smiled and looked at Cal. He nodded, giving her the permission to continue. Emily could tell that they were nervous. She looked at them and said jokingly, "Let me guess, she's pregnant."

You could've heard a pin drop. The look on their faces was one of bewilderment. Her father looked at her, "Were you listening in on our conversation?"

She looked at them, "No... You're having a baby?"

Gillian nodded, "I am."

Emily smiled, "Wow...."

Gillian bit her bottom lip and Cal asked, "You okay with that luv?"

Emily smiled and jumped up again. Cheering for them both, "Wow!! A brother or sister!! That's soooooo cool!!"

She'd jumped up and down around the room. Then she looked at her father asking, "Does mom know?"

Her father shook his head, "We haven't exactly told her yet. Gillian's divorce was just finalized yesterday."

"Well you have to tell her soon. Otherwise she's going to go ballistic." Emily laughed at the look on her dad's face. She smiled, "I'll tell her for you!!"

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, it's probably better if I tell her. You know how mom flips out at every little thing."

Cal had nodded and smiled. He hugged her, "I love you Em."

Emily smiled, "I love you too dad."

Emily went home that night and her mom was waiting for her. Of course, her mom always waited for her when she came home from her dad's house. It annoyed her most of the time, but tonight she was too happy to let it bother her. She smiled at her mom.

Zoe asked, "Are you okay Emily?"

She'd smiled, "I'm perfect!! I found out some great news!!"

Her mom had smiled asking, "What news?"

She said it so fast that everything kind of ran together, "DadandGillianare having a babay!!! Isn't that great news?!!"

Zoe had felt all the blood rush out of her body. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever imagined Cal and Gillian getting married. She knew that they'd loved each other for awhile now, but never did she think that they'd get married. She finally managed to croak out, "That's great."

Emily had been too happy to notice her mom's less than enthusiastic response. She floated up the stairs and got ready for bed.

They'd been married in a small ceremony and Emily spent every minute that she could with them. She knew that her mom wasn't too happy about it, but she was too happy.

She got back with the slushies and smiled at Gillian laying on the couch. She touched her shoulder, "Gillian? I'm back."

Gillian's eyes opened, "Oh. I guess I fell asleep. Was I out long?"

Emily shook her head, "I just got back."

"Good. I can't seem to stay awake for very long lately."

Emily smiled and sat on the couch next to her. They were sitting there talking when Cal walked into the room. He smiled and asked, "Are you guys okay?"

Gillian smiled, "We're fine. Just talking."

Cal smiled, "Well, I just wanted to let you know that we closed the case. Loker is one of the best interns we've had in a long time."

Gillian smiled brightly, "Good. I told you he was going to work out."

Cal smiled, "So you did luv, so you did."

He walked out of the office smiling. It was about time that he and Gillian were happy. He smiled as he walked to his office.....

Gillian sat talking with Emily for a few minutes. Finally Emily remembered, "I wanted to ask you something!!"

Gillian laughed, "Okay. Ask away."

Emily bit her bottom lip. Gillian could tell that she was nervous about asking her something. Finally, she whispered, "I was just wondering, well, would it be okay if.."

Gillian smiled, "Go ahead and ask sweetie."

"Well, one of my friends at schools mom had a baby a few months ago and well, she said that she almost died. I'm worried that the same things going to happen to you. I don't know if I, I mean dad could deal with it. I've been worried sick and just wanted to ask. Because I know that dad would be upset and..."

Gillian smiled at Emily ans whispered, "I'm going to be fine sweetie. I'm taking care of myself and my doctor says that there isn't any reason why I shouldn't have a perfectly normal baby and a normal delivery."

"Promise?"

"Well, I can't promise anything one hundred percent, but I'm pretty sure. I plan on being around for a long time."

Emily bit her lip again and then burst into tears. Gillian leaned over to hug her to her, "What's wrong sweetie?"

"Nothing. It's just that dad's so happy since he's been with you. He was actually smiling the other day when he was taking me to school. I couldn't imagine what would happen if..."

"Sweetie, nothing in life is a guarantee, but we are going to do everything that we can to make sure me and the baby are okay."

"Really?"

Gillian smiled, "I wanted to ask if you'd like to be in the delivery room with us."

"Really?!! You mean it?"

"Sure I do. Why wouldn't I?"

Emily shrugged, "Well, I would think that you would just want your family there with you guys."

"You're part of my family Em. You and your dad."

"It's just that mom said..."

Gillian didn't want to badmouth Zoe, but she did want to set the record straight with Emily. So, she took the diplomatic approach, "Emily, whenever you have doubts about something, ask us. Your mom doesn't always know our feelings."

Emily thought about it for a minute and finally said, "Okay mom...."

Emily and Gillian looked at each other and finally burst out laughing. The two of them were so involved in their laughter, that they didn't hear or see Zoe come into the room.

Zoe cleared her throat. Interrupting the moment between them, "Are you two having fun?"

It wasn't meant to sound nice. It wasn't like she even cared. Truthfully, she hated how close Emily was getting to Gillian. The two of them acted more like mother and daughter than she and Emily did lately. It was starting to get on her nerves.

Emily smiled, "We are."

That caused them to burst out laughing again. This is the point at which Cal came into the room asking, "What's wrong with them?"

Zoe looked at him, "I'll be damned if I know. They were like this when I came in."

Emily was finally able to say, "I-I'm fine." She then turned to Gillian, "Thanks Gill. I feel better now."

Gillian was still having an attack of the giggles, but finally managed, "I'm glad sweetie. Will we see you tomorrow?"

Emily nodded, "You bet. Oh and Gill?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything."

"You're welcome."

Gillian smiled and closed her eyes after Zoe and Emily left. She felt Cal sit down beside her. Then he felt his arms slide back behind her. He closed his eyes, "You do realize that Zoe was ready to murder you just now. Right?"

Gillian shrugged, "When isn't she?"

Cal smiled at his wife and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "You know that Thanksgiving is coming up."

"Don't remind me. Can't we just go out for dinner this year?"

Cal laughed, "What? And miss my fabulous cooking?"

"And your lovely apron."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I love that apron."

She looked at him with something resembling surprise, "I thought you were just humoring me. I never expected you to actually wear it."

"It was a gift from you. If I remember correctly, it was three years ago that you gave it to me."

Gillian look surprised, "You remembered."

"Of course."

She leaned over and kissed him softly, "I love you."

"Love you too."

"Well, I asked her."

"You did? What did she say?"

"She said yes."

Cal looked at her with wide eyes,"She did?"

"You sound surprised."

"Well, I didn't think that she'd actually agree to it."

"She was just worried about a few things."

"What kind of things?"

Gillian shrugged and avoided eye contact with him, "Oh nothing."

"You know, you're a terrible liar."

"Sometimes that's a good thing Cal."

"Are you going to tell me what she wanted?"

"Well, she thought that we wouldn't have time for her once the baby comes."

"That's rubbish! Let me go call her and..."

"I already took care of it Cal."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I told her that no matter what, we do and always would love her, and that this baby wouldn't change that."

"When did you get so damn smart?"

Gillian smiled sweetly, "When I married you."

"No, I think that's when I got smart. The best thing I ever did in my life."

"That makes both of us Cal."

Cal smiled, "You ready to eat Gilly?"

Gillian smiled, "I thought you'd never ask. Let's go." Cal watched as she stood up and walked to the door of her office. She smiled, "Come on slow poke!!"

"Mention food and suddenly she's full of energy."

Gillian smiled, "Don't blame me, blame the baby."

"You know, we can't keep calling it "the baby" we really should find out if it's a boy or a girl."

"I don't want to. I want it to be a surprise."

"You know I really hate surprises luv."

"I know, but just pretend that it's Christmas time."

"Christmas is such a bloody commercial holiday."

Gillian smiled sweetly at him, "You're impossible. You could at least pretend to humor me."

"Why?"

"Because you love me."

"I do love you, but you really know how to take all the fun out of everything."

Gillian laughed as she grabbed his hand. He stopped, simply because she did. Then, she put his hand on her stomach. His eyes grew wide whispering, "Wow. He's got a strong kick."

"How do you know that it's a boy?"

"Just a guess."

"I'm going to kill you if you're right."

"You know you love me."

"I do, but you're annoying at times."

Cal and Gillian walked to the car and got inside.

Meanwhile, Emily and Zoe are talking in the car. Zoe is not happy at the scene that she witnessed in Gillian's office.

"You know, that little scene back there was really sweet."

"What? We were just talking."

"It looked like you two were having a lot more fun than that."

"Mom, Gill treats me like and adult. She doesn't treat me like a kid."

"Are you saying that's what I do?"

Emily shook her head slowly, "Not exactly."

"Then what exactly are you trying to say?"

"Well, you're trying to put a wedge between dad and me."

"I'm doing no such thing. I just want you to face the facts."

"What facts mom? Dad and Gill love me!"

"They aren't going to have time for you once the...."

"Just stop it mom!! I know what's wrong! You're jealous! You're afraid that I'm going to get too close to them and forget about you...."

"I..."

"Mom, I love you. Just because I love dad and Gill doesn't mean that I can't love you. I've got a lot of love to give."

"I know you do. I just don't want to..."

"Mom, I love you, dad and Gill..."

Zoe didn't say anything for a few minutes. Finally, she whispered, "I love you Em. I'm sorry."

"It's okay mom. Just remember that."

Zoe smiles, just before a car crashes into the drivers side of their car.


	8. Pain And Heartache

_**~~After way too long, I've finally finished this story. I'll post a few chapters a week. Please let me know what you think. Remember, this is an AU type of story. The characters don't belong to me. Oh, except for Cal and Gillian's children. Reviews are love.....**_

Gillian and Cal are getting ready for bed that night when the phone rings. Cal looks at Gillian, "Don't answer that."

"It's the office. We should get it."

"They can get by without us for one night."

"I think we should answer it."

"Forget it. We need some time alone."

Gillian smiled and leans over to kiss him. Then she slips into bed beside him.

The phone rang again a few hours later. Cal picked it up barking, "Someone had better be dying!!"

He heard and official voice saying, "I need to speak with Mister Cal Lightman."

Cal was instantly awake, "Speaking."

"Well, Mister Lightman, your daughter and ex-wife were in an accident earlier this evening on their way home."

"Are they okay?"

Cal heard the pause and knew that the news wasn't good. Finally, the voice continues, "Your daughter's in a coma."

"And her mother?"

"I'm sorry. There wasn't anything we could do to save her. The car was hit on the drivers side of the car. Her injuries were just too extensive."

Cal felt as though he'd been hit by a car himself. Zoe was dead. He hadn't realized that the gentleman was talking to him again until he heard, "Mister Lightman, your daughter needs you at the hospital."

Cal nodded and managed to croak out, "I'll be there."

Cal got out of bed and got dressed. He shook Gillian awake and saw here face. He broke down in her arms. She held him while he cried. He was finally able to whisper, "I need to go to the hospital."

"Is everything okay?"

Cal shook his head whispering, "Zoe was killed and Em's in a coma."

Gillian got out of bed, "I'm coming with you."

"You need your rest."

"Like I'd be able to rest anyway."

Cal looked at her and finally whispered, "I love you Gillian Lightman."

"I know and I love you too Cal Lightman."

He leaned over and kissed her softly, before she got out of bed and hurried to get dressed.

They arrived at the hospital and Cal whispered, "My daughter was brought here. She's in a coma."

The nurse nodded, "The doctor is waiting for you Mister Lightman."

Cal simply nodded and he and Gillian walked with the nurse to Emily's room. Gillian gasped at the sight of Emily in the hospital bed. She grabbed Cal's hand and he gave it a squeeze. Then he whispered, "Are you going to be okay?"

She nodded, "I will be. I have to be for you and for Em."

Cal nodded and smiled at his wife. This was one of the many reasons that he loved her. He smiled as he watched her go and sit beside Emily's bedside. Meanwhile, he went to go talk to her doctor.

Gillian looked at her normally vibrant stepdaughter and smiled sadly. She held her hand and talked to her softly. She let her know that she and her dad were there for her and that they both loved her. She kept talking softly to her for a few minutes, until finally Cal came and stood beside her. He looked at her whispering, "The doctors are keeping her in a drug induced coma."

Gillian nodded, "I'm staying here with her."

"Gilly, I don't think that's a good idea. You need the rest. Think of the baby and...."

Gillian looked at him and replied sternly, "I'm staying here. I would definitely have wanted Zoe to do that for me. If it was our baby."

Cal knew better than to fight her on this one. He knew then that she wasn't going anywhere. He sat beside her, "Okay love, but you do need to lay down for awhile."

"I will. Just give me a few more minutes."

Cal nodded and watched as his wife talked to his daughter.

After a few minutes, Gillian looked at Cal, "I need to lay down. I hate seeing her like this."

Cal nodded, "Me too luv, me too."

Gillian walked over to the couch in the room and laid down carefully. She promised herself that she'd just close her eyes for a few minutes. She was surprised when she awoke a few hours later to the sound of Emily crying hysterically. Then she heard her screaming, "You're lying! She's not dead!!"

Gillian hurried to get up and walked over to the bed. Emily looked at her with a frantic look on her face, "Tell him it's not true. She can't be dead!"

Gillian took a deep breath, "I'm sorry honey."

Emily lost it and broke down in tears. Gillian wished there was something that she could do to take away her pain. She took Emily's hand and said, "I'm sorry sweetheart."

Emily looked at her dad and Gillian. She couldn't believe that her mom was gone. She simply turned away and felt the tears falling down her cheeks....


	9. Hate And Healing

Emily was released from the hospital two weeks after the accident. She had barely talked to her dad or Gillian. A week after she was released from the hospital, Cal had to go to meet with a senator. He hadn't wanted to leave. He'd honestly been afraid to leave his daughter. Gillian had assured him that they would be fine.

He looked at her, "If you're sure."

"Positive. Now go. It will give us some time to talk."

Cal had nodded and kissed her. He'd went into Emily's room to say goodbye. He sat on her bed, "I've got to go on a business trip. I'll only be gone for a few days."

"Fine."

"That's all you can say? Fine."

"What do you want me to say dad?"

Cal didn't know what he wanted her to say. He wanted to know that she was going to be okay. He was worried about her, but he had no idea how to reach her. She was so wrapped up in grief that he wondered if she would ever come out of it. Gillian had assured him that it was normal. That grief takes time to work through.

So, he kissed her on the head and walked out of her room. She turned away from the door and let the tears fall again.

It was a few hours later that Gillian walked into her room. She sat on the bed, "Sweetheart. I made us some dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat something."

"I don't need you to tell me that I need to eat."

"No, but I thought that you might want something to eat and...."

"Well, don't worry about me. You're not my mother! Stop pretending that you care about me!"

"Em, I do care about you. I love you!"

Emily wanted her to hurt as much as she was. So, she said something that she would later regret. She looked at her and said hatefully, "I wish it would've been you that died in that car crash! It's all your fault that my parents got divorced! If it wasn't for you breaking up their marriage, my mom would still be alive! I hate you!!"

Gillian was shocked. She never realized that Emily had felt like this. She knew she was hurting, but this went above hurt. She knew that she needed her to say something, but the words wouldn't come. She was too shocked and hurt to say anything except, "I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone."

Emily noticed the tears that sprang to Gillian's eyes almost immediately. She'd regretted the words she'd spoken immediately. She wanted to reach out and grab them back, but she knew that it was too late for that. She watched as Gillian walked out of the room.

She knew that her dad was going to kill her when Gillian told him. Truthfully, she knew that she deserved it. She'd been so hurtful to Gillian.

It took all the courage that Emily possessed to go to their bedroom. She knocked softly and heard Gillian call out, "Go away."

Emily took a deep breath and walked into the room. She stood in the doorway for a few seconds. Finally, she walked over to where Gillian was laying on the bed and sat down. She needed to find the words to try and make Gillian feel better.

So, she started slowly, "I'm sorry Gill. I..."

She couldn't finish, she started crying again. Great gulping sobs that seemed to never want to end. She watched as Gillian sat up. Then she felt Gillian's arms wrap aroung her and hug her tightly.

"I'm sooooo sorry!! I didn't mean anything that I said. I'm just hurting so much. I've never hurt this bad before Gill."

Gillian smoothed her hair, "It's okay. I know you didn't mean it. It just hurt to think that you hate me."

"I don't hate you Gill. I didn't mean it. I just miss mom so much!!"

"I know, I know. It never gets easier sweetheart. I'm sorry for pushing you."

Emily smiled sadly. She knew that she'd hurt Gillian deeply. She wished that she could take the words back, but knew that sometimes, words couldn't taken back. Then she whispered softly, "It's okay. I wish I could take back what I said."

Gillian held her while she cried softly. It would take quite a while for her to heal, but she knew that with her and Cal to love and support her, she would do just fine. She was a amazing girl. She smiled when Emily crawled into the bed and soon, the two of them fell asleep. Their tears finally stopping when they fell into a deep sleep.

The morning arrived bright and sunny. Gillian smiled and turned to look at the bed beside her. She noticed the vacant spot immediately worried about Emily. She managed to get out of bed and waddled into the kitchen. She smelled bacon and eggs cooking. She smiled at Emily and asked, "What's this for?"

"Just trying to make up for last night."

Gillian smiled sadly, "Sweetheart, there's nothing to make up for. Honestly, I'm fine. I know that you needed to get that out."

"Really? Because I feel terrible. I know that you and my mom didn't get along and well..."

Gillian looked at Emily whispering, "That was between you mother and me. I never hated your mother. I was jealous because she'd married your dad. I'm not going to lie to you Emily, I've loved your dad for a lot longer than you've been alive, but I never would've wished that anything bad would happen to your mom."

"I know. It's just that mom always said that you hated her and that you'd be glad if she disappeared."

Gillian looked at her and couldn't believe that Zoe would've said something like that to Emily. Never, in all of their fights or nasty looks did she wish ill on Zoe. Sure, she wanted her to move to Siberia or someplace equally remote, but never would she wish ill on her.

Finally, she managed to say, "We didn't get along, but we tried to, for your sake."

"I know. I know that mom didn't like me hanging out with you. I know that she was jealous of you. Dad's going to kill me when I tell him what I said to you."

"Who says that we have to tell him? I think we are going to be just fine."

"Really? I think we should tell him."

"I don't. You were hurting. You needed to lash out at someone and I just happened to be there."

Emily bit her bottom lip. She knew that she'd been a total brat to her. She just hoped that she could make it up to her. She thought that she knew the perfect way. She smiled, "I wanted to ask you something. Something important."

"Okay."

"Well, we are having a career day at school next month. I'd like you to come and speak to the class about what you do."

"Really? Don't you want your father to go instead?"

Emily shook her head, "Dad went two years ago. I swore that I wouldn't ask him again."

Gillian laughed loudly, "I can only imagine what he did."

"He only interrogated every boy in my class. Asking them what their intentions were with his daughter. I've never been so embarrassed before."

Gillian laughed, "If you really want me to, I will, if you're not going to be embarrassed by me being nearly eight months pregnant."

"Heck no! I think it's cool. I can't wait to meet my brother or sister."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think it's really cool that you and dad are having a baby together. Even if he is old."

Gillian laughed and leaned over to hug Emily. She knew that their relationship was starting to heal again. They just needed to take it one day at a time. She knew that Emily would always miss her mom, but with time, the hurt would fade and she'd remember the good times. Sure, she'd cry at times because she missed her, but she hoped that she'd be there to help her through the tough times.

It was then that she decided that she wanted to do something. Something that Cal would probably think she was crazy for doing, but she wanted to do it just the same. She knew that the doctor had found out the sex of the baby. She hadn't wanted to know at the time, but now, it seemed to be important.

So, she made a phone call and found out that they were having a little girl. She wanted to ask Cal's permission first. She was sure that he wasn't going to go along with it, but she wanted to at least make her case.

So, she called him on the phone that night. She smiled, "Hey honey!!"

"Gilly! This is a nice surprise!"

"Well, I had something to tell you and then something to ask you."

"It sounds serious."

"It is. Well, it could be."

"First off, are you sitting down?"

"Yeah. What's wrong luv? Are you okay? Do I need to come home?"

"I'm fine Cal."

"Is Em okay?"

Gillian sighed and then laughed, "We're both fine Cal! Would you listen to me please?"

"Okay. I'm fine."

"Okay. First I want you to know how hard this is for me. I want to do it though."

"What? What do you want to do?"

"Well, I called my doctor today."

"Okay...."

"I found out that we are having a little girl."

"A daughter? Are you sure?"

Gillian laughed, "The doctor's positive. She said that she's one hundred percent positive."

"A baby girl."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I'm ecstatic! I can see her now. She'll have your eyes and dazzling smile. I'll have to beat the boys off with a stick."

Gillian laughed, "Now, for my idea."

"Okay. Why do I think I'm not going to like this?"

"Because it's not something that I would've suggested three months ago."

"Okay, just tell me luv."

"Well, I want to name her Arianna Zoe Lightman."

Cal was quiet. So quiet that she thought he'd hung up. When he finally talked his voice was full of emotion and said, "After my mother and Emily's mother."

"Are you upset?"

"No luv. I think it's a perfect name. Does Emily know about it yet?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay with it before I said anything to her. Do you want me to wait until you get home to tell her?"

"I'd like to be there when we tell her."

Gillian smiled, "I knew you would."

"I love you Gillian Lightman."

"I love you Cal Lightman. So very much!"

"I'll see you tomorrow night."

"I'll be counting the hours."

Gillian hung up the phone and settled into bed for the night. She smiled as she closed her eyes. She was happier than she had ever been in her life.


	10. Baby Girls And Questions

The next morning arrived way too early. Gillian stretched and smiled as she realized that it was morning. She got out of bed and took her shower quickly. She hurried downstairs to make breakfast. However, she was surprised to find that Emily was already downstairs waiting for her with breakfast already waiting. She smiled and said, "I could get used to this."

Emily smiled, "Well, I had to eat and I figured that you needed to eat. For the baby and all."

Gillian smiled, "Thanks Emily. I appreciate it."

Emily smiled sheepishly, "You're welcome."

"What are you going to do today?"

Emily bit her bottom lip, "Well, I was wanting to go shopping, but..."

"What?"

"Well, I need a ride to the mall."

"Well, it just so happens that I'm needing to go to the mall too. Wanna catch a ride with me?"

Emily smiled, "Sure. I want to get something for the baby, but I don't know if it's a boy or a girl, so I'm going to get something that either one would like."

Gillian smiled, "Want me to tell you a secret?"

Emily smiled, "Sure."

"I know what I'm having."

"You do?!! And you didn't tell us?!!"

Gillian laughed, "I just found out last night. I called your dad and told him first."

Emily was bouncing out of her chair. She finally whispered, "Is it a boy or a girl?!!"

Gillian smiled, "A girl!"

"A girl!! Really? I'm going to have a little sister!! You're serious? You wouldn't trick me would you?!!"

"No, I wouldn't trick you. I'm serious. You're dad and I have something we want to tell you."

"What?!!"

"I can't tell you, but it has to do with the baby's name. Your dad wants to be here when we tell you!"

"Ugh!! You're killing me here!!"

Gillian laughed and whispered, "Well, it's only about ten more hours. You'll live until then."

Emily laughed, "I doubt it, but I'll try!"

Gillian laughed and they both grabbed their purses and drove to the mall. They had a great time. Gillian felt a bit guilty, but knew that Emily needed this to help bring her out of the depression that she'd sunk into. They arrived home just before Cal and Gillian smiled and said, "How about we order pizza?"

Emily nodded, "Pizza sounds great!"

Gillian picked up the phone to call it in. The pizza arrived just as Cal walked in the front door.

He smiled, "Looks like gourmet food to me!"

Gillian smiled when he came over and gave her a kiss. She felt it all the way down to her toes. Emily smiled at the adults behavior, "You two need to get a room!! I hope you don't behave this way in front of my sister."

Cal looked at Gillian and asked, "You told her? I thought we were going to wait."

Gillian laughed, "I just told her that the baby's a girl. I didn't tell her the other part."

"She didn't and I've been dying to know what it is all day long!!"

Cal laughed softly, "Maybe we should make her wait until she's born."

"Dad!! You wouldn't?"

"Wouldn't I luv?"

"Okay, you would, but come on!!"

Gillian laughed as she watched the interaction between the two of them. It was then that the baby decided to give a big push. She smiled as she took Emily's hand and held it to her stomach. Emily's eyes grew wide and she asked, "Does it hurt?"

Gillian shook her head and smiled, "Most of the time it feels like butterflies in my stomach. Sometimes, it's a bit uncomfortable when she's sitting on my bladder. Then I feel like I have to go to the bathroom all the time."

Emily laughed, "That's incredible."

Cal looked at the exchange between his wife and daughter and couldn't help but get choked up by it. A lump formed in his throat and he found himself unable to talk. The sight was something to see. The two of them looked absolutely beautiful sitting there together.

Finally, he heard Gillian say, "We have something that we want to ask you." Cal could only nod and Gillian looked at him funny and continued, "Well, we were thinking and we wanted to know if you'd mind if we named her after your mom?"

Emily whispered, "You want to name her Zoe?"

Gillian laughed and nodded, "Well, we want it to be her middle name. Her first name would be Arianna."

Emily was speechless. She never thought that they would want any part of her mom's name for their daughter. She finally whispered, "I think that's great. Thanks dad."

Cal looked at Emily, "Thank Gillian. It was all her idea."

Emily looked at Gillian and threw herself at her. She dissolved into tears. She didn't stop crying until she heard Cal say, "I didn't think she'd cry because of it. Maybe it wasn't a good idea."

Gillian laughed, "She's crying because she's happy."

Cal looked at her sideways, "If she's bloody happy, I'd hate to see what happens when she's sad!"

Emily laughed, "I'm still here and I can hear you!"

Cal laughed, "So you can luv. What do you think about that idea Em?"

She looked at Cal and then at Gillian. Then she whispered, "I think that's the perfect name for my little sister."

She rushed forward and hugged them tightly.


	11. School & Scares

The next month passed rather slowly. Gillian awoke to get ready to go to Emily's school. Something that still upset Cal, they'd talked about it the night before.

"I don't understand why Em doesn't want me, her father, to go to career day with her."

"Cal, do you really have to ask that question?"

"What? I wouldn't do anything to embarrass her."

"Wouldn't you? I can see it now, "What are your intentions with my daughter." I don't think so Cal. She doesn't need that."

Cal looks at her with a smile on his face, "Need what?"

"Go to work Cal. I'll be fine. I can handle a group of teenagers."

Cal smiled, "You just remember that when they have you screaming to get their attention luv."

Gillian shook her head and laughed. She kissed him as she walked out the door, "I love you Cal, but you worry too much."

Cal looked at her and smiled. He felt his heart swell with love for her. He'd never known a love like this before. Never before had he felt this much love for a woman. He smiled and whispered, "I love you, you know."

"I know that Cal, but nothing's going to happen. I'll be fine."

Cal kissed her again and watched as she and Emily pulled away from the house. He couldn't help the feeling of dread that crept into him as he watched her car disappear.

Emily and Gillian arrived at her school a few minutes early. They talked as they walked to her class. Gillian smiled, "I can't believe how big your school is."

Emily smiled, "It doesn't seem that big."

Gillian laughed, "I guess not, but you're here all the time."

Emily smiled as they walked into the building. She introduced Gillian to her homeroom teacher. Mrs. Talisman was a great teacher, but she was a little flighty. Emily laughed and said, "I would offer you a seat at my desk, but it might be a tight fit."

Gillian looked at the tiny space between the desk and the seat. She laughed, "I think I'll stand."

Emily laughed, "Good idea."

They waited while the students filed into the classroom. Parents and students alike. Gillian didn't see anyone that she recognized. The parents talked about their different jobs. There were teachers, doctors and the occasional office worker. Most of the jobs were boring and mundane. It made Gillian want to fall asleep. She couldn't wait to tell the kids about her job.

After Emily introduced her, she smiled at the students that were watching her. This was Cal's specialty, but she knew that she could do it. She smiled as she introduced herself, "I'm Gillian Lightman. I'm what they call a deception detection expert."

She could see the looks of confusion on their faces. She smiled as she continued, "I can see a lot of confused looks. Basically, my husband and I use facial clues to determine of someone is lying."

She went through the basics. Telling the kids about what she did. By the end of her presentation, she knew that she had the kids interest. She ended by saying, "The truth is written on everyone's face. It's just a matter of knowing what to look for."

When Gillian went to stand next to Emily, she saw that bright smile on her face. She whispered, "Did I do okay?"

Emily nodded enthusiastically, "You were great!!"

Gillian smiled and she started to walk to the exit. She'd just made it there, when a huge pain hit her in her midsection. She lost her breath for a brief moment. She grabbed onto the door and bit back a moan of pain. Emily noticed it and asked, "Are you okay Gill?"

"I don't know Em. Can you get my cell phone out of my purse and call your dad? I think I'm in labor."

Emily had never been pregnant, but she did know that it was too early for the baby to be born. She looked at Gillian and whispered, "It's too early."

"I know sweetheart, but I do need to get to the hospital. I need your dad to meet us there."

"How are you going to get there?"

"Well, I can either call an ambulance or you can drive me."

Emily chewed on her bottom lip. She knew that skipping school would send her father over the edge, but she couldn't let Gillian go to the hospital alone. So, she nodded, "Let's go!"

She took Gillian's hand and led her to the car. She picked up Gillian's cell phone and hit be speed dial. Her dad picked up on the first ring, "Hello luv. Are you done already?"

Emily managed to say, "Dad! It's me."

"Emily? What's wrong?"

"I don't know dad. I'm taking Gillian to the hospital. She's having pains. She thinks she's in labor."

"What?!! Let me talk to her Em."

Emily held the phone out to Gillian, "He wants to talk to you Gill."

Gillian was able to nod and she took the phone. She managed to croak out, "Hey Cal."

"Sweetheart. Are you okay?"

Gillian blinked back her tears. She was frightened and scared. She wanted Cal there with her. Finally, she managed to whisper, "I don't know Cal. It's too early for her to be born."

"It's okay Gilly. Tell Emily to go straight to the hospital. I'm on my way right now."

"Okay."

"Everything will be fine luv."

"I'm so scared Cal. I can't lose her. I..."

Gillian broke down in tears. It broke Cal's heart to be so far away from her. He wanted to be there and holding her hand. She finally whispered, "We are at the hospital. I need to hang up Cal."

"I'll be right there luv."

"Okay. I love you Cal."

"I love you Gilly."

Gillian hung up the phone and managed to get herself out of the car. They headed inside and Gillian was surprised to see her doctor standing there waiting for her. Gillian whispered, "How did you know?"

"Your husband called and said that I needed to get over here."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's get you back and see what's going on."

Gillian and the doctor disappeared behind the swinging doors, leaving Emily standing there in shock. She felt the tears slide down her cheeks. She felt like she was losing her mom all over again. Gillian had become so important to her this past month. She couldn't lose her. Not only would it destroy her, but it would destroy her father. Then she worried about her little sister. Maybe this was her punishment for being so mean to Gillian. It was all her fault. She just knew it. She hated herself for it too. Her dad and Gillian shouldn't be the ones to suffer because of her.

She walked over to the seats and sat down. She hugged herself tightly and cried. It felt like forever before she heard her dad causing a commotion. She jumped up and met him.

"Dad, Gillian's back in the exam room. Her doctor was waiting here for us."

Cal looked at the nurse, "Which room? Tell me or I'll go back there and search every room."

The nurse looked at Emily who shrugged told her, "He'll do it. Trust me."

The nurse looked at him and finally relented, "Room three eleven."

"Now see. That wasn't so hard. Was it?"

Emily couldn't help but laugh at the look on her father's face. They walked back to the room Gillian was in. She looked peaceful enough. When she saw Cal, her face brightened with relief, "I'm so glad you're here."

The doctor saw Cal, "I knew you'd find a way to get back here."

Cal looked at the doctor, "I just did what was necessary."

Gillian laughed, "How many people did you have to bully to get your way."

"Not many."

Gillian smiled, "That's good. I'd hate to alienate the people that are going to be here to help bring our baby into the world."

Unable to take it any longer, Emily finally blurted out, "How's the baby?!!"

She hadn't realized that she'd been crying. Not until Gillian held out her hand. Emily gave her the hand and gave it a squeeze, "She's fine Em. Apparently, I'm having some very strong Braxton-Hicks contractions."

Emily nodded and suddenly burst out of the room. Cal and Gillian looked at each other with confusion written all over their faces. Cal looked at Gillian, "What's wrong?"

Gillian shook her head, "I don't know, but go after her Cal."

Cal shook his head, "I don't want to leave you."

"She needs you Cal. I'll be fine."

Cal looked at her doctor and she nodded, "She's fine. The contractions have stopped. I do want to keep her here overnight, but she should be able to go home tomorrow, but I do want her on bed rest for a least a week."

Gillian exclaimed, "A week?!! I can't stay in bed for a week, I'll go crazy from boredom!!"

The doctor smiled sympathetically, "It's only until I make sure that the contractions aren't going to start again."

Cal nodded, "I'll see to it that she stays in bed."

Gillian sighed, "Fine, but can you go check on our daughter?"

Cal didn't fail to notice the use of the word, "our" daughter when she talked about Emily. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat,, "Sure thing luv."

Cal left the room to find Emily. He finally found her sitting in the corner of the waiting room. She was obviously quite upset about something. She didn't even realize that he sat next to her until she heard him whisper, "You want to talk about it Em?"

She shook her head and then buried her face in Cal's chest. She sobbed harder then. Cal rubbed her back, "What's with the tears luv?"

It took a few minutes, but finally she managed to choke out, "It's all my fault."

Cal pulled back looking at her questioningly, "How's it your fault Em?"

"I said some mean things to her."

"Today?"

Emily shook her head, "It was back when you left on that trip. Right after mom died. I said some mean things to her. She was so nice and sweet to me. Even after I was so nasty to her."

Cal didn't know what to say. He didn't know anything about that conversation between Emily and Gillian. Gillian hadn't felt the need to say anything to Cal. It was her and Emily's secret. Looking back, she probably should've told Cal, but everything had worked itself out. So, she didn't feel the need to tell him.

He finally whispered, "It's okay luv. None of this is your fault."

Emily sniffled asking, "You're sure?"

Cal nodded, "Positive. Now, let's go see her. She was pretty worried about you."

"She was?"

Cal nodded, "She practically threw me out of the room to go check on you."

"I'm sorry dad. I..."

Cal shrugged, "Let's not say anything to her about our little talk here. I'll just tell her that you were worried about her."

Emily sniffled and nodded. They walked into the room and Gillian held out her hand to Emily. She ran to her, "I'm sorry Gill. I'm sooooo sorry."

Gillian smoothed her hair whispering, "You didn't do anything sweetheart. None of this is your fault."

Emily sniffled, "It isn't?"

"No, sweetie. Braxton-Hicks contractions are perfectly normal. They happen to every pregnant woman. You couldn't have stopped it if you'd wanted to."

"Really? I didn't know that."

Cal smiled at them brightly, "Listen to her luv. She's a smart lady." Then, sensing that they needed some time together, "I'm going to go talk to your doctor. I'll be right back."

Gillian nodded, "We'll be here."

Cal smiled as he left the room. He heard them talking and knew that he'd made the right decision to leave the room. He whistled as he walked to find the doctor. He was the luckiest man in the world.

Emily whispered, "I think I let the cat out of the bag."

"What do you mean?"

"I sort of told dad about what I said to you. I thought that he knew."

Gillian nodded, "I didn't tell him."

"Why not?"

"There wasn't any reason to. We'd settled everything and honestly, I knew that you didn't mean what you said. Besides, your dad doesn't need to know everything."

Emily laughed, "You know I can't lie to him. He figures me out every time."

"I only get away with it every once in awhile."

"You're luckier than me."

Gillian smiled at her tenderly, "Sometimes. I want you to promise me something."

Emily looked at her, "Okay."

They talked for a few more minutes and then Gillian yawned. Emily stood up, "I'm going to go find dad. You need to sleep."

Gillian didn't argue with her. She laid her head back and closed her eyes. She fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake up until the next morning.


	12. Bored & Judge Judy Is Cool

**_This is a rather short chapter. It's kind of a filler between chapters. Sorry for the delay in updating. The story is complete now, but I didn't want to flood you with updates all at once. I hope you enjoy! reviews are love._**

**_Remember, I own nothing. _**

She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw Cal laying beside her. She stroked his head and whispered, "Wake up sleepy head."

Cal opened his eyes slowly. Finally, he whispered, "How are you feeling?"

"Sleepy and hungry."

Cal smiled softly at her, "Well, I can get you some food and you can sleep when we get home."

Gillian looked at him with eyes filled with love. She couldn't believe that the fates had graced her with this man in her life. She loved him with an intensity that she'd never felt before. She'd known that she was and would always need him in her life. Their daughter was an added bonus. She'd been told years ago that she would never have a baby. This baby made her realize that there were miracles in this world. Their love was just one example.

Cal drove her home and then he announced, "I'm going to be staying with you today. Then, tomorrow Emily's going to be here. We are going to make sure that you don't have to get up for anything."

Gillian looked at him, "I'm not an invalid. I can get out of bed for..."

Cal looked at her, "The doctor said complete bed rest. I for one intend to make sure that you follow that luv."

Emily appeared in the doorway, "Me too."

Cal looked at her softly, "You're supposed to be on the way to school."

"I'm going, I'm going. Jeez dad! Give me a break!"

Cal laughed and leaned forward to kiss her on the forehead. He watched as she leaned down and gave Gillian a kiss on the cheek. She waved goodbye and walked out of the room.

Cal noticed that Gillian was strangely silent. He cocked his head to one side, "What's wrong luv?"

"That's the first time that she kissed me."

Cal smiled and knew that this was probably something to be approached carefully. He nodded and said, "Well, bloody hell! I need to go get her back here and tell her to apologize to you!!"

Gillian looked at him with a horror stricken face and corrected herself quickly, "No Cal!! I'm not mad!! I'm happy!"

Cal looked at her, "Really, because I can get her back here? She shouldn't be allowed to.."

Gillian laughed at him and realized that he was teasing her. She smacked his hand playfully, "Stop it Cal."

"She loves you, you know."

"I know. I just don't want to try to take Zoe's place. It's a bit early. She should be allowed to grieve for her mom. I want to be here when she needs me. I love her and want to be as much of a mom as she will let me."

Cal nodded and whispered softly, "That makes sense. I love you, so very much. When Em called me and told me she was taking you to the hospital, I felt all the air leave my lungs."

Gillian reached over and took his hand and kissed it. He looked down at her and smiled. He kissed her and lay beside her in bed. Then, they fell asleep together.

Emily smiled as she left the house. She'd been so worried about Gillian. She hadn't stopped to think about kissing Gillian on the cheek. She just did it because it came naturally. Some part of her knew that her mom would approve. At least she hoped that she would. She finally got to school and soon the day was over.

Cal was in the kitchen cooking dinner when she got home. She smiled at him asking, "Hey dad! Do you need help with dinner?"

"You could set the table."

"How many places?"

"Two. Gillian has to eat in bed."

Emily bit her bottom lip. Finally she asked, "Can we eat in there with her? It would be pretty rude to eat out here without her."

Cal looked at her, "I think that's a great idea."

Emily smiled as she got the dishes out. She set everything up on the counter and then said to her dad, "I'm going to go say hi to Gillian."

Cal watched and Emily practically ran into their bedroom. He smiled and considered himself the luckiest man in the world.

Gillian smiled when she heard Emily coming into the bedroom. She strained to see her walking into the room. She smiled even more brightly when Emily asked, "Hey Gill! How was your day?"

"Boring! I never realized how mind numbing the daytime talk shows could be!"

Emily laughed softly. Finally nodding, "They are only a bit better than the court shows. Although, I really like Judge Judy!"

Gillian smiled, "Yeah, Judge Judy is really cool."

Emily laughed, "Please tell me that you didn't just say that?"

"Oh no! I guess I did!"

They started laughing hysterically and finally Emily told her, "Dad's cooking dinner. He wanted me to set the table, but I'd rather eat in here with you."

"You guys don't have to."

Emily shrugged, "I want to. Besides, it's rude to exclude you."

Gillian smiled and realized that Emily was getting closer and closer to her. She smiled at her, "Well, only if you're positive."

Emily nodded, "I am. Plus, I don't want to eat out there with dad. Then I'll have to listen to his boring stories about work."

"Hey!! I work with him too!!"

Emily laughed, "Your stories aren't boring. You make them seem more exciting."

"They're basically the same stories. I just tell them a bit differently."

"Yeah, they are exciting!!"

Gillian laughed and saw that Cal was bringing her plate into the room. She smiled as he placed the tray onto her lap. He looked at Emily and told her, "Your plates on the breakfast bar."

Emily ran out of the room to get her plate. She stopped to grab a glass of milk and then hurried back into the room. The three of them sat at talked about their days. Finally, when they were done eating, Emily announced, "I'll do this dishes."

Cal gave her a funny look, "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"

"It's really me dad. I just want to help you guys out."

Cal watched as she gathered their dishes and disappeared from the room. He looked at Gillian softly, "You're a miracle worker."

She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder. They sat like that until he heard her softly snoring. He laid her down in the bed and then walked out to the kitchen.

"Thanks Em. I really appreciate this."

"Don't mention it dad. And before you ask, I'm not trying to get anything out of you."

"I didn't think you were luv. Goodnight Em."

"Night dad."

She smiled and watched as her dad walked into their bedroom. She smiled and turned off the lights and went to bed herself.


	13. Dreams & Weepy Tears

**_This chapter tis definitely rated M. I didn't know whether to change the rating for the whole story or leave it as is and just warn you about it. Read at your own risk. You have been warned._**

**_Remember, I own nothing. _**

Two weeks passed and Gillian was finally off bed rest. She got up that morning and looked in the mirror. She thought that she looked like a beached whale. Cal however, couldn't seem to keep his hands off of her. She swatted away his hands, exclaiming, "Stop Cal! I'm hungry!"

Cal wiggled his eyebrows at her, "Well, I'm hungry too luv."

Gillian laughed, 'You are impossible."

"And you love every minute of it."

She rolled her eyes, "Ugh! There's no talking to you when you're like this."

Cal gave her an innocent look, "What? You know you can't resist me!"

Gillian laughed and headed downstairs. She had some important things to take care of that day and did not need Cal and his overactive sex drive getting in the way.

The day went by fast and soon Gillian and Cal were getting ready for bed. Gillian rolled over and turned off the light beside her bed. She smiled softly, "Love you Cal."

The next morning was a Saturday. Emily was out of bed early and headed downstairs. She had been planning on making breakfast for her dad and Gillian, but it appeared that Gillian was already hard at work. Emily smiled, "Need any help?'

Gillian smiled, "Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep okay?"

Emily shrugged, "It was okay. I kept having a bad dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Emily shook her head, "It's stupid. I keep having a dream that you...."

Gillian put the pan aside and walked over to sit next to Emily. She looked at Emily and asked softly, "What honey?"

Emily sighed deeply, "It's the same dream. Over and over again. It always starts the same. I'm in the car with my mom and we are talking about you and dad and me. Well, I can sort of see the car and then, I'm in the hospital, but instead of me in the hospital bed, it's you. Then, the doctors come in and tell dad and I that you and the baby are gone."

Gillian watched as tears filled Emily's eyes. She knew that she was still suffering, but she had no idea that she was this scared for her and the baby. She looked at Emily and whispered, "Oh Emily. I'm going to be fine. I know that you're scared, but you have to have faith sweetheart. I wouldn't let anything happen to the baby and your dad is going to take care of me."

Emily nodded and said, "I know that. I'm just so afraid that we're going to lose you. I...."

Gillian gathered her close and whispered, "Oh sweetheart. I can't tell you that you're wrong for feeling this way, because it's how you feel. All I can do is promise you that I'll do anything and everything I can to make sure that nothing happens to me. You and your father mean everything to me. I haven't fought this hard to get back to him to lose him like that."

Emily bit her lip and finally, Gillian saw a small smile on her face. Finally, she whispered, "I love you. I'm sorry for being so weepy."

Gillian smiled and said, "Hey! You're a girl. I think you're allowed to be weepy every once in awhile."

"Really?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Sure. The way I figure it, we're allowed three or four weepy days a month."

Emily laughed loudly and said, "I'm not sure that dad would agree with that."

Before Gillian could say anything, Cal came into the room and said, "Agree with what luv?"

Emily smiled and said, "Well, Gillian said that since I'm a girl, I'm allowed to be weepy three or four days a month."

Cal looked at Gillian and said, "Bloody hell! Don't tell her that!! Then she'll be using that as an excuse to cry all the time!"

Gillian and Emily laughed and they both hugged Cal tightly. Then, he heard them both start crying and said, "Oh bloody hell!! It's starting already! I'm going to work!!"

Emily laughed and said, "Bye dad!!"

"Yeah, bye dad!"

Cal looked at Gillian and said, "You know what, you're a bad influence on her."

Gillian smiled and said, "You're right, but you know that's why you love me."

Cal laughed and said, "You seem sure about that luv."

Gillian nodded and said, "Of course."

She moved forward to where Cal was standing in the doorway and kissed him softly. He looked at her and said, "It's not working."

Gillian smiled and she raised herself up on her tiptoes. She found the sensitive spot on Cal's neck. She sucked it gently and heard him moan softly. He took her hand and led her up the stairs. He'd fully intended on going to work early this morning, but this was much more important.

He called down to Emily, "Don't disturb us unless you care to die!"

Emily laughed and decided that she was going to go watch TV. She turned it up as loud as she could. Not wanting to hear them doing what she knew they were going to be doing.

Once they got upstairs, Cal smiled and whispered, "I love you."

Gillian smiled and whispered, "I know. I love you too."

Cal moved forward and kissed her deeply. He pushed her against the wall and was careful to watch her stomach. He started removing her blouse and whispered and saw that she wasn't wearing a bra. He looked deep into her eyes and whispered, "If I'd known that you weren't wearing any underclothes, I would've brought you up here sooner."

Gillian smiled and whispered into his ear, "I'm not wearing any panties either."

Cal groaned deeply and said, "Bloody hell luv!"

That was when he watched as she removed her slacks. She pushed him back onto the bed and crawled into the bed with him. She whispered, "You have way too many clothes on Mister Lightman."

Cal could only nod as he watched her work the buckle on his belt. Once she had it undone, she quickly removed his slacks. She stroked him softly and said, ""You seem to be very hard tonight hun. I wonder why."

Cal groaned and whispered, "It's because of you."

"Oh really? I find that very hard to believe Mister Lightman."

Cal couldn't say anything. His vision was fixed on Gillian and watching her hand stroking his crotch. He swallowed hard and whispered, "God luv! Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

Gillian looked up at him and whispered, "I do and I'm loving every minute of it."

Cal closed his eyes and let the feelings carry him away. He felt Gillian removing his briefs and moaned with relief at the feeling of freedom. Gillian wrapped her hands around him and stroked him softly. It nearly drove him crazy with need. He knew better than to try and rush her. Especially now. She held all the cards in their lovemaking and he knew it and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He watched as she moved forward to capture him in her mouth. It was then that Cal very nearly lost all control. She only lingered briefly and then she kissed her way up his body. She reached his mouth and kissed him deeply. He pulled back and whispered, "I love you so much."

"Love you too."

"I want to kiss you."

Gillian laughed and said, "I thought that's what we were doing."

"Not like that." He turned her over and found a spot on her neck. He knew that was her sensitive spot. She moaned softly and felt him moving his way down her body.

He stopped at her stomach and simply stared. His hands rested on either side of her growing belly and finally, he leaned down and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "I love you. My beautiful little girl. I'm glad that you have a wonderful mum. You have a wonderful big sister. We can't wait to spoil you."

She was moved to tears and whispered, "Oh Cal. I love you."

He kissed his way down her stomach and finally reached the wonderful spot between her legs.

He stroked her softly and was surprised at how wet she was. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

She moaned softly and knew then, that she couldn't wait any longer. She looked at him and said, "I want you now!"

Cal looked at her and nodded. He climbed back up and entered her slowly and carefully. Careful not to rest on her stomach. He moaned as he looked down at her. She was so lovely. The reached a rhythm and soon, Cal was having a hard time holding back his release. He looked down at his wife and felt something go through him. He'd known that he loved her for a long time, but making love to her like this always felt like the first time.

He rubbed her stomach softly as he looked down at her. She looked up at him and whispered, "I love you Cal Lightman."

"Love you too Gillian Lightman."

He moved faster inside her and she moaned. She lost all control when she felt him reach between them and he started playing with her clit. She closed her eyes and moaned loudly, "Ohhhhhhh!! Mmmmmmmm! God!!"

Cal looked down at her and whispered, "Come for me Gilly."

She looked into his eyes and lost all control. She came hard and bucked her hips against him, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!"

Cal felt her tighten around him. Watching her face and her mouth open and close, he felt his own orgasm building. She tightened and released him and finally, he came crashing down, "Ohhhhhh!!"

Gillian watched as his eyes latched onto her and she smiled. He fell onto her and whispered, "I love you, so very much."

Gillian planted butterfly kisses along his forehead. They laid together in bed and listened to each other breathing. Gillian whispered, "I love you."

"Love you to."

They fell into a state of semi-sleep.


	14. Shopping & More Happy Tears

**_This is the last chapter for today. I don't want to overwhelm you with posts. Unless of course my wonderful reviewers would like me to. _**

**_Remember, I own nothing. _**

Cal and Gillian finally walked downstairs a few hours later. Cal had decided that he wasn't going to make it into work today. So, he called out to Emily, "Hey Em!"

She appeared from the kitchen and said, "Yeah dad?"

"If you want to tag along, Gillian and I are getting ready to go to the mall."

"Really? Since when do you do the whole mall thing?"

"Ever since she convinced me that I need to go shopping with her to help pick out baby furniture."

"You're going to help pick out baby furniture? You? My father?"

Cal looked at her and said, "What's so funny about that?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to picture you in a baby store. Checking out the different patterns and searching the different shades of wood. Cherry, birch and such."

Cal looked terrified and said, "Maybe I should stay here."

"Do you think that's such a great idea? I mean Gillian does want you to go with her."

Cal chewed hi lip and took a fifty dollar bill out of his pocket and said, "Can you go with her?"

"Dad! I don't think Gill wants to go with me. This is something that the two of you need to do together!"

"Please? I don't want to spend the entire day looking at clothing and bedding and wood colors."

Emily laughed and said, "Okay dad. I'll go with her. If and only if she wants me to, but you have to tell her the truth about why you don't want to go."

"The truth?"

Emily nodded and said, "The truth. If she still wants you to go, then you have to go. If not, I get the money and I get the car on Friday."

"You drive a hard bargain, but I'll take it."

Emily laughed and snatched the money out of Cal's hand and whispered, "This is the easiest money that I've ever made."

Gillian came downstairs and asked Cal, "Are you ready?"

Cal stammered, "Are you ready?"

"You really want to go?"

"No. I was wondering if Emily could go with you? I'm really no good with all this female stuff."

Gillian smiled and said, "Okay. Let's go Em."

Cal looked at Gillian and Emily and noticed the smiles on their faces. He looked at them and said, "I think I've been had!"

Gillian laughed and said, "I knew that you didn't want to go. I was going to make you sweat it out and then I was going to tell you to stay here and take Emily with me."

"Really?"

Gillian smiled, nodded and said, "Did you really think I was going to torture myself by taking you along with me?"

"Torture yourself? What about torturing me?"

"It would've been worse for me. I would be the one that had to listen to you asking if it was time to leave yet. No thanks. Come on Em! Let's go!"

Emily looked at her dad and said, "Thanks dad!!"

Cal watched as they walked out the door and muttered, "Bloody hell they're good!"

Gillian and Emily laughed as they made their way to Gillian's car.. Gillian smiled and said, "I can't believe that he thought that I'd actually want him to go to the baby store with me."

Emily laughed and said, "I think that he'd go with you anywhere. He loves you."

Gillian smiled and said, "I love him too. I..."

Gillian lost herself in her thoughts. Emily smiled and said, "I was thinking. Well, when Ari comes, that's what I'd like to call her, well, when she comes, I was thinking that maybe I could call you mother. Cause my mom would always be mom, but I figured that Ari would get a bit confused if I'm calling you Gillian and she calls you mom."

Gillian was shocked and said, "You want to call me mother?"

Emily looked straight ahead and said, "Yeah. I mean it's not mom, but it's pretty close. If you don't want me to, I'd understand. I just thought that maybe..."

Emily fell silent and Gillian swallowed and said, "I think I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."

Emily leaned back and closed her eyes. Then she whispered, "Good. I feel funny about it in a way though. It feels like I'm forgetting mom. I know she would hate it, but...."

Gillian nodded and said, "I can understand that sweetie. I never want to take your mom's place. I couldn't do that. I want you to do it because I want to. Not because anyone else asks you to. You have to do what's in your heart Em."

Emily nodded and said, "I understand. I do love you. I guess I just need to figure everything out."

Gillian nodded and took her hand and gave it a squeeze. They drove the rest of the way in silence. Finally, they got out of the car and headed towards the store. Gillian and Emily picked out all the stuff that babies need. They arranged to have everything delivered the next weekend.

Gillian looked at her and said, "Let's get lunch."

"I'd like that, I'm hungry."

They went to the cheesecake factory. They treated themselves to a big slice of cheesecake after wards. Gillian smiled and said, "I think your dad would like a piece of the turtle cheesecake."

Emily nodded and said, "I think he would."

Gillian and Emily looked at each other and smiled. They'd had a great day and decided that it was time to head home.

They got home and were greeted by a visibly shaken Cal. He rushed over to them and said, "Thank God you're okay!"

Gillian looked at him and said, "What's wrong?

"They said that there was an accident on I-95. Two females were killed and another was wounded. I tried calling your cell phone, but no one answered."

Gillian looked at her cell phone and noticed that it was dead. She smiled at Cal and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

Cal grabbed her in his arms and hugged her tightly. So tightly that she started to lose the ability to breath. She managed to choke out, "Cal, you're hugging me too tight."

Cal released her and said, "Sorry luv! I was just worried about you two."

Gillian laughed and said, "Well, there's nothing for you to worry about."

Emily laughed and said, "Yeah dad! We're fine. The best news is that we have all the furniture and clothes picked out."

"That is good news!"

Cal let out a cheer and said, "Alright!!"

They walked into the living room and sat down to talk and Gillian went to make dinner.

Emily and Cal looked at each other and Cal whispered, "Did you get it?"

Emily nodded and said, "It was hard sneaking away long enough to buy it though. I tried using the, I have to go to the bathroom excuse. She said that she had to go with me. So, I waited until she closed the door and hurried out. You owe me one dad!"

Cal laughed and said, "I know. Thanks Em."

"You're welcome. I just hope she likes it."

"She will. Trust me."

"It's definitely nice. When I have a baby, I want one of them."

Cal gave her a look and said, "Bloody hell! You'd better not need one of them for at least a dozen years!"

Emily laughed and said, "It's okay dad, I was just saying that I like it."

"As long as you don't get any funny ideas."

"Like any boy would come within ten miles of this place! You have them all scared off. I'm going to have to go to California in order to find anyone to date let alone marry!!"

Cal smiled and said, "Well, I think she'll like the rocking chair and foot stool. It's a perfect color for her."

"Yeah. Dark blue with little white flowers. I love it."

"You did good Em. Thanks luv."

Emily smiled and said, "Love you too dad."

They walked into the kitchen and saw Gillian staring in the fridge. She frowned and said, "There's nothing to cook."

Cal and Emily laughed and Cal said, "Let's go out for dinner."

Emily and Gillian nodded and said quickly, "Okay!!"

Cal looked at them and said, "Somehow, I think I've been had again!"

Gillian and Emily looked at each other first and then at him. Gillian smiled and said, "Who us?"

Emily smiled and said, "Yeah. Who us?"

Cal looked at them and said, "And they look so sweet and innocent, kind of like lions before they pounce and destroy you."

Gillian smiled and said, "Do you mind if we order take out? I'm a bit tired."

Cal looked at her and asked, "Are you okay?"

Gillian nodded and said, "I'm fine. I'm just hungry and tired. I don't feel like going anywhere for dinner."

Nodding, Cal said, "How about Thai?"

Emily and Gillian smiled and said, "Yes!"

"Thai it is then!"

Cal walked to the phone to call in the order. Gillian and Emily walked into the living room. Emily handed the remote to Gillian and said, "I'm too tired to pick anything."

Gillian laughed and said, "How about we just listen to music?"

Emily nodded and said, "That sounds good to me. I'm just going to lay here and wilt."

Gillian laughed and said, "Me too."

"Wonder if dad will get back before we are out for the night."

"Hope so."

"Me too."

"Night Em."

"Night mom, love you..."

Gillian waited for Emily to say something else. Nothing came. She held her breath and felt the tears come to her eyes. She wondered if it was a slip of the tongue or if Emily had truly meant to say it. Finally, she whispered, "I love you too sweetie."

Gillian felt the tears sliding down her cheeks, but didn't care. She was happy that Emily seemed so accepting of her. She finally got up a few minutes later knowing that she wasn't going to get any sleep. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed poured herself a glass of milk. She sat at the table and let the tears roll down her face. She was still crying when Cal returned home. He walked into the kitchen and saw her face and asked, "What's wrong luv?"

Gillian shrugged and said, "It's just something that Emily said."

"What did she say? I'm going to go get her and she's got some explaining to do!"

Gillian held up her hand and called out, "Cal no! It's okay!"

"Bloody hell it's not! You're sitting in our kitchen crying!"

She shook her head and said, "It's because I'm happy."

Cal looked at her funny and said, "You're crying because you're happy?"

She nodded and said, "Yes."

"What?"

Gillian laughed and said, "It's something that she said. She fell asleep and she called me something that touched me."

"What on earth did she call you?"

Gillian swallowed hard and with a watery voice said, "She called me....Mom...."

Cal was speechless. Of all the things he'd been expecting, this was the last thing he'd expected. He knelt down beside her and whispered, "Oh Gilly."

"I don't know what to think. I love her, just as much as I love this little girl that I'm carrying. I..."

She broke down into tears again. Cal pulled her to her feet and hugged her tight. He whispered softly, "It's okay luv. Em knows what she's doing. She loves you."

Gillian nodded and said, "I just don't know..."

She was interrupted by Emily saying, "I do love you. It wasn't a mistake. I meant to call you that. I didn't know that it would make you cry though."

Cal looked at her and said, "She says that she's crying because she's happy."

"I am."

It was then that Emily started crying too. Cal looked at the two women and rolled his eyes. Then he threw his hands up in the air and said, "I quit! I'm going to eat!"

They looked at him and Emily said, "Me too!"

Gillian sat down as Cal put her food on the plate. They ate in silence and Cal smiled at them. Then he asked, "Are you always going to cry when she calls you that? Because of you do, then I don't think it's such a good idea."

"I'm fine Cal. It was just a shock."

"Yeah dad, I kind of threw it out there."

Cal laughed and said, "I know. I just hate to see either one of you ladies cry."

Gillian and Emily looked at each other and threw Cal a, "Men!" kind of look. He looked at them and asked, "What?"

Gillian laughed and said, "Nothing."

"Yeah, it's nothing dad."

Cal looked at them and whispered softly, "Women."

Gillian and Emily looked at each other and both burst out laughing!!

Cal just looked at them and rolled his eyes, although, inside he was happy that both his ladies are getting along.

They finished dinner and went to go watch television. Emily however, was exhausted. She told them, "I'm going to go to bed guys."

Cal smiled at her and said, "Night Em."

"Night dad." She hurried upstairs and called out, "Night mom!"

Gillian smiled and said softly, "Night Em."

Cal hugged her softly and said, "She really does love you. She's still getting used to calling you mom."

Gillian nodded and said, "I know. I just didn't think that at fifteen she'd be so open to calling me mom, especially so soon after losing her mom."

Cal nodded and said, "I didn't either luv, but she's always been a mystery to me."

Gillian snuggled close to him and soon fell asleep.


	15. Babies & Blood

**_Remember, I own nothing._**

The baby was born on a cold December day. Cal had gone to work and Emily was at a friend's house. They had been getting ready for the Christmas holidays and Gillian was in the middle of wrapping last minute gifts. She felt a small twinge. She tried moving around in the chair to get comfortable. Then, she felt a stronger pain. This one caused her to grab onto the table and she cried out in pain, "Oh!"

When the pain finally passed, she grabbed her cell phone and called Cal's phone. He picked up on the second ring and said, "Hey luv! Miss me already?"

"No!"

"Okay, that's an honest answer."

"I..."

"I'm just getting ready to head out on a case with Loker. Can I call you back?"

Gillian was getting frustrated and finally said, "Would you please shut up Cal!!"

"Okay, what's wrong?"

Gillian sighed and said, "I'm in labor!"

Cal suddenly panicked. He looked at Loker and said, "You're sure?"

"Positive. I've had three strong contractions. They are five minutes apart."

Cal looked around and suddenly felt faint. They weren't ready for this. HE, wasn't ready for this.

He finally managed to croak out, "I'm on my way luv. I'll have Heidi call Emily and she can meet us at the hospital. I'll stay on the phone with you."

Gillian nodded and whispered, "Okay. I love you."

Cal stopped at Heidi's desk and said, "Call Emily and tell her to meet us at the hospital. Doctor Lightman is in labor."

Heidi nodded and said, "I'll call her right now. Good luck!"

Cal nodded and talked with Gillian on the phone. He finally arrived at their house and was torn apart at the sight of Gillian on the floor. She was in obvious pain and looked up at him and said, "Help me Cal. I don't think I can do this."

Cal smiled and said, "You can luv. Let's go to the hospital."

Gillian nodded and let Cal lead her to the car. They arrived just after Emily did. She looked at them and asked, "What took you guys so long?"

"I had to go to the house and get her. Then I had to drive here."

Emily nodded and said, "I can't believe the baby's coming and on Christmas Eve too."

Gillian looked at them as they walked inside. She sighed with relief when Cal put her in a wheelchair. He wheeled her inside and up to the registration desk.

Emily watched them as they talked to the nurse. She smiled and nearly bubbled over with happiness. She was happy for her parents. She'd come to think of Gillian as a second mother in the past few months. The self imposed "mom" label had become easier and easier to accept each day. She really hoped that he mom wouldn't mind.

They walked into the labor and delivery room and the nurse tried to stop Emily from coming back by saying, "You can wait for your parents in the waiting room."

Gillian promptly put a stop to that by saying, "She's our daughter and she's coming with us."

The nurse looked at Cal and he nodded and said, "What she said."

Emily laughed and said, "I can wait outside."

Gillian shook her head and said, "I want you in there with us."

"If you're sure?"

"Positive Em."

Emily had nodded and said, "Okay."

It was then that Gillian was hit by another huge labor pain. She cried out, "Ohhhhhhhh!! God!! It hurts so much!!"

Her dad whispered softly and said, "It's okay luv."

She shook her head and said, "I can't do this."

Emily laughed and said, "I don't think you have a choice Gill."

Gillian shot her a look, but said nothing. She knew that Emily didn't mean anything by it. She was just in an incredible amount of pain. It felt as if her body was being ripped in two. She looked at Cal and said, "It hurts."

Cal nodded and said, "I know luv, but just remember the pain will be over soon and our daughter will be here."

Gillian nodded and whispered, "I know."

Emily sort of sat back and watched. Even though she'd hate to admit it, she was a bit fascinated by the whole birth process. While she didn't enjoy seeing Gillian in pain, she was intrigued by everything that was going on. She could see Gillian's stomach tighten with each labor pain. It was amazing to watch. She looked at her dad and thought, "Wow. That's incredible."

Gillian was in labor for over thirteen hours. Finally, at one in the morning on Christmas day, Arianna Zoe Lightman was born. The doctor looked at Cal and said, "Would you like to catch her?"

Gillian and Emily both shouted, "No!"

Cal looked at them and asked, "What?"

Gillian mumbled, "I don't want you fainting!"

Emily laughed and said, "Yeah dad. You don't do blood well."

"That's pure rubbish."

Cal went down and took a look at the little bit of blood on the floor. He suddenly felt week. Emily was there to catch him and said, "See dad, told you."

"I need to lie down."

Emily nodded and the doctor went back to work. Emily asked, "Can I do it?"

Gillian looked at her doctor, she doctor smiled and said, "Sure. She's going to be slippery. Just make sure you get a good hold on her."

Emily nodded and leaned down to look. She saw the baby's head and smiled. It seemed so natural. She smiled when Gillian cried out in pain and the doctor said, "Okay Gillian, push!"

Gillian bore down and pushed with all her might. The baby slid out and the doctor and Emily caught her. She smiled when she saw her sister for the first time. She looked up at Gillian and said, "She's perfect mom."

The doctor cut the cord and then, Emily handed her to Gillian. Gillian couldn't believe how perfect her daughter was. She looked at her and whispered, "She's perfect. Look Cal."

Cal managed to say, "She is. I can't believe how perfect she is. Look Em."

Emily smiled as she looked down at her sister. She swallowed and said, "She's beautiful."

The scene ends with them looking down at the baby.


	16. Secrets & Lies

**_Remember, I own nothing._**

Three months passed and Gillian had returned to work. She was able to bring Arianna to work with her every day. They'd managed to staff an onsite daycare for the employees. That was all Cal's doing. Gillian had wanted to stay home, because she didn't want her daughter in daycare. So, Cal did the only thing he could think of. He completely renovated the bottom floor of the building and turned it into a daycare.

He charged a nominal fee and hired some of the best workers in the state. He was proud of that addition to the company.

Meanwhile, Emily found something that would profoundly affect her life. She was looking through the attic of their house when she found a box marked, "Zoe's things." She was curious, so, she opened the box and looked inside. Inside, she found a diary. She bit her bottom lip and was trying to decide whether she should read it or not. She decided that it wouldn't hurt to take a quick look.

She opened it to the first page. She read a small passage:

**_December 20th 1992- Cal says that he doesn't love me anymore. He told me that he's in love with someone else. He says that she makes him believe in love again. He told me that her name is Gillian such an old fashioned name. I told him that he has to marry me. I don't care about love. I told him that I'm pregnant and the baby is his. I was pregnant, but I lost the baby months ago. I'll just tell him that I had a miscarriage once we get married. I'm not going to let some no named twit ruin my chances to marry him. He'll learn to love me soon enough."_**

Emily dropped the book like it had burned her hands. Then she started at it like it was a snake. She swallowed hard and picked the book up and put it under her arm. She climbed down the stairs and hurried to her bedroom. She slammed the door and threw herself onto her bed. She had no idea that her mom would do something like that, something so dishonest something so wrong.

She wasn't sure how long she'd been up in her room crying. She did know that it was dark outside. She heard her dad and Gillian come home from work. She knew that they'd come look for her soon. She didn't feel like talking to anyone right now. So, she got up quickly and locked her door.

She heard a knock on the door. Then she heard Gillian say softly, "Hey Emily. Can I come in?"

"No...."

"Are you okay sweetheart?"

"I'm fine."

She heard her try to door and found it locked. Then she heard Gillian whisper, "Em, can I come in?"

"No! Go away!!"

Gillian was worried about Emily. Something was definitely bothering her. She put her head against the door and said softly, "Is something bothering you?"

"No!! I just want to be left alone!"

Gillian nodded and then whispered, "I'll leave you alone, but if you need to talk you know you can."

This only caused Emily to cry harder. How could Gillian be so nice to her? After what her mom had done to her. She wouldn't ever forgive, let alone love any child of a woman that took the man she loved away from her. She cried so hard at that thought that she nearly made herself sick. The tears ran down her face in a river. She couldn't make them stop. No matter how hard she tried.

Gillian walked downstairs. She was worried about Emily. She looked at Cal, who was feeding Arianna and said, "Something's wrong with Emily."

"What? How do you know luv?"

Gillian shrugged and said, "I think that she's been crying."

"What happened?"

Gillian sighed and said, "I don't know Cal. Her door is locked and she told me to go away."

Cal handed the baby to her and said, "Let's just see what this is all about. Shall we?"

Gillian smiled and said, "She has the door locked."

"I have a key."

"Go easy on her Cal."

"I will luv."

Cal walked up to his oldest daughter's bedroom and knocked softly. He was greeted with, "I told you to go away Gillian! I don't want to talk to you!"

Cal sighed and said, "It's me luv. Open up please."

He was just about ready to use his key, when he heard the lock click open. He watched as Emily threw herself back onto the bed and curled up into a tight ball. Something had definitely happened to her today. He was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"Okay Em. What's wrong? Don't tell me nothing's wrong. I can tell that you've been crying."

She couldn't look at him. She finally managed to whisper, "Did you know that mom lied to you?"

Cal nodded and said, "She lied to me all the time luv. That's nothing new to me."

"Do you know that she lied to you about being pregnant? To get you to marry her and that she was never pregnant, that she simply wanted to get you away from Gillian."

Cal did know all of that and much, much more. He finally looked at her and asked, "How do you know that Em?"

Emily took a look at her dad and then moved her hand beneath her pillow. She took out the diary, turned to the first page and handed it to her dad and said, "It's all right there! For me or anyone that wants to read it to see!!! She lied dad!! She just wanted to break you and Gillian up!"

Cal swallowed hard and said, "I know."

"You knew? How could you live with her after what she did to you and dad?"

"Em, by the time I found out, you were already on the way. Some part of me did love your mom. I..."

"What about Gillian? Did you still love her?"

Cal nodded and said, "I've always loved her Em."

"How can she love me? Knowing that mom did what she did!! I would hate me if I was her! She probably does hate me!! She's just pretending to love me!!"

Gillian had heard everything. She'd hung outside the doorway. When she heard this, she had to come in and say something.

She whispered softly to Emily, "I don't hate you Em. I love you. Very, very much..."

"How could you love me mom, after what she did to you?"

Gillian smiled and sat down on the bed. She patted it and said, "Sit down."

Emily did as she said and Gillian continued, "I love you Emily. You had nothing to do with what your mom did. You're innocent. Just because your mom made some bad choices, it isn't your fault."

Emily stared straight ahead. Finally, she whispered, "You don't hate me?"

Gillian shook her head and then whispered, "I could and would never hate you! No matter what. You're just as much my daughter as Arianna is. You're the daughter of my heart. I love you Emily."

Emily threw herself at her and said, "I love you too! I was so sure that you'd hate me because of what she did!!"

"Never Emily! Listen I don't want you to hate your mom. She did what she did because deep down, I do believe that she loved your dad."

"I know. It just stinks though."

"Yeah. Do you want to keep the diary or do you want me to keep it for you, until you're ready to read it."

Emily thought for a second and then handed the diary over to Gillian and said, "Maybe you should keep it, at least for a little while."

Gillian nodded and took the diary to her and Cal's bedroom. She put it on the top shelf of their closet, where she kept the most important papers and things. She knew that there would be a day that Emily would want and need to read it. Someday when she was mature enough to accept the reasons that her mom did what she did.

She'd known what Zoe had done. Cal had told her about it when they first got married. When he'd first told her about it, she'd held onto him and cried. Cried for all the lost years with Cal she knew without a doubt that they would've gotten married. She'd loved him that much even after he'd broken her heart. She'd always loved him.

She'd read the diary soon after Zoe had been killed, she'd cried and laughed, but most of all, she felt sorry for her. Zoe had finally come to love Cal, but by then, it was too late. He had married Gillian and had a baby on the way. That's why Gillian knew that they had to live every day as if it was their last, because it very well could be. She sighed and closed the lid on the box.

She walked out into the living room and saw Cal sitting on the couch. Arianna was sound asleep in her crib and Gillian whispered, "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just a bit upset at Zoe."

"Why?"

"Because she kept that damn diary, I should've burned it when we were clearing out her things."

Gillian smiled and said, "That wouldn't have been fair to either one of them."

"What?!! Bloody hell Gilly! You saw how upset Emily was!!"

Gillian laughed and said, "Yeah, I saw it. I also know what else is in the diary. Even though you refused to read it, I did. I admit I was curious."

"You read it? All of it?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Yeah. Most of it was ranting about me and how I made her life hell, but she did write about Emily quite a bit. There was even some stuff about you in there."

"Really? Probably her just wishing I would take a bloody dive off a high rise building."

Gillian shook her head and said, "No, she actually had a few good things to say about you. She realized that she loved you. Right around the time we got married."

"When she couldn't have me anymore, that woman just wanted what anyone else had. She couldn't stand to be left out of anything!"

Gillian shrugged and said, "I don't think that's it Cal."

"What was it then? Because I'll be dammed if I know, she never loved me. Not even when she married me. She just didn't want me to be happy. I wish I'd stayed with you all those years ago."

"You don't mean that Cal. Not really. Because then you wouldn't have Emily."

Cal knew that she was right. He loved Emily just as much as he loved Arianna. He would do anything for his daughters. Cal knew that nothing was more important than family. The only regret that he had was that he wasn't around more when Emily was young. He was determined to make up for that.

Gillian leaned over and kissed him softly. Then she whispered, "Let's go to bed."

Cal nodded and said, "I could use some rest and maybe a roll in the hay!"

Gillian slapped him playfully, headed up the stairs and said, "You're too much!"

"Exactly! That's why you love me so much!"

Gillian giggled as she climbed the stairs to their bedroom.


	17. Confessions

**_Remember, I own nothing._**

The next morning, Gillian knew that something was wrong. She had definitely slept in. She hadn't heard Arianna cry and was immediately out of bed. She raced into her room and was surprised to see that her crib was empty. Telling herself not to panic, she raced down the stairs. She heard Cal and Emily talking, "I know how to hold her dad. I'm not going to break her."

Cal had laughed and said, "I didn't say that you were."

"No, but you keep hovering over me like I'm going to drop her or something. Give me a little bit of room here dad."

Cal laughed and said, "I remember what you did to your doll when you were ten."

"That wasn't my fault. Lynn Johnson kept bugging me . It wasn't my fault that she pulled her head off!"

Gillian stood in the hallway. She was having fun listening to her husband and daughter talk. Now that she knew that Arianna was with them, her heartbeat returned to normal. She leaned against the wall and smiled at the back and forth banter.

"Besides, I'm not ten anymore. I'm nearly and adult and..."

"You have a long time before you can be considered and adult."

Gillian figured that this was the time she needed to intercede. So, she walked into the room and said, "I wondered where she'd gotten to."

Cal smiled and said, "Emily's been keeping her company."

"Yeah, I fed her and burped her. Even though _someone_ seems to think that I can't do it."

Cal sighed and said, "I never said that."

"No, but you implied that dad!"

Gillian laughed and said, "Okay you two. No fighting in front of your sister."

Cal and Emily looked at her and on cue said, "Okay mom!"

Gillian shook her head and said, "You two are impossible. I hope Arianna is the normal one in the family."

Emily laughed hysterically and Cal said, "Are you saying that we aren't normal?"

Gillian just shot them both a look as she turned to walk into the kitchen. Emily handed Arianna to her dad and followed closely behind her.

"Hey mom. I have a question for you."

"Sure Emily."

"Well, I was wondering if...."

Gillian watched as Emily bit her lower lip. She knew that she was anxious about asking her something. She looked at her and said, "What?"

"Well, I was wondering if you'd want to go to the mall with me today. I need to get a dress for the dance. I'll understand if you don't want to, I just figured that dad wouldn't freak out if you came with me."

Gillian smiled and said, "You're probably right, but you have to agree to listen to me. I'll give you my honest opinion."

"Promise?"

"Definitely."

Emily jumped up and down and hugged her tight. She went out to the living room and told her dad, "I need your credit card!"

"Why?"

"I'm going shopping. Don't worry! I'm taking Gillian with me!"

Cal rolled his eyes and said, "Now why does that not make me feel any better?"

Gillian and Emily laughed as they headed upstairs to get dressed. Then Gillian popped her head in the room and asked, "Do you want to watch Arianna or am I taking her with us?"

"I need to go to the office. I can take her with me."

Gillian shook her head and said, "Okay, just remember to take some extra bottles.."

Cal nodded and watched as she disappeared again. He laughed and said, "My girls get along way too well."

On the way to the mall, Emily asked Gillian a questions that she wasn't sure how to answer. Emily looked at her and said, "Tell me about when you and dad met."

Gillian bit her bottom lip. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell Emily, it was just that she wasn't sure where to start. Finally she said, "He was a lot like he is now. Not quite so serious though."

"Really? A less serious dad? That's weird to think about."

Gillian laughed and said, "It is pretty weird."

"When did you know that you loved him?"

Before she thought about it, she said, "The minute I laid eyes on him."

Emily looked surprised and said, "Really?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Yeah. The first time he took my hand it was like I'd found what I was looking for. I could see myself with him forever."

"And when my mom did what she did, you stopped loving him right?"

Gillian had to smile as she said, "I never stopped loving him Em."

"Never? But he hurt you and then you married Alec."

"When you're older you'll understand what I'm about to say. I wasn't ever in love with Alec. At least not in the way I should have been."

"Really? I thought that the only reason you married someone was if you love them."

Gillian nodded and said, "That should be the only reason, but I was looking to forget your dad. I shouldn't have married Alec. I know that now. I was using him to try and forget your father. It was wrong and I know it now, but at the time it was all I could think of."

Emily looked at her and asked, "Did it work? I mean, did it make you forget dad?"

Gillian shook her head and said, "I never forgot him. I always wondered about him and if he ever thought about me."

Emily swallowed hard and said, "He did. At least after you guys started working together and probably before that."

"What make you say that Em?"

Emily shrugged and said, "Cause I heard them fighting at night and mom would say how she couldn't compete with the one true love of his life. I never knew who that was, at least not until I met you. He's a lot happier with you."

"I'm sure your mom made him happy."

"You don't believe that. All they ever did was fight. You know that. I know that. I think the only ones that didn't know that are mom and dad. You saw how they were together."

Gillian smiled and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right. We couldn't tell them that though. They had to learn it for themselves."

"It was almost too late."

"What do you mean?"

"They talked about getting back together. A few years ago. I'm not sure what stopped them. Dad was happier again. I knew that it wasn't because of mom."

Gillian smiled and said, "I'm sure it had nothing to do with me."

Emily nodded and said, "It had everything to do with you. He was in love again and he knew that you loved him. Not like my mom. You never wanted to use him or hurt him."

"I'm sure I've hurt him before. I've said or done things to hurt him."

"But nothing like what she did."

Gillian bit her bottom lip and said, "For whatever reason, she thought she was doing the right thing. She might have loved your father at one time."

"I don't think so. I think she just wanted what she knew she couldn't have."

Gillian laughed and said, "When did you get so smart?"

"Hey, I've had lots of practice. Between my mother and father, they are enough to make anyone smart."

Gillian laughed and parked the car. They climbed out and headed into the shopping center....


	18. What's wrong?

**_Remember, I own nothing._**

They arrived home shortly after Cal. They were laughing and talking about their day. Emily hadn't managed to find a dress that day. It was okay though, because they'd had a wonderful day. Cal watched them as they laughed together and asked, "Have fun?"

Gillian nodded and said, "We did!"

Emily nodded and headed into the living room. She plopped onto the living room couch and turned on the music station.

Cal laughed and said, "You'll never guess what I did today."

Gillian smiled and said, "You administered a test to the screening agents at the airports."

"Bloody hell! How'd you know?"

"Because you told me this morning before we got out of bed. How'd they do?"

"Eh, I don't know yet. We should have the results back next week."

"Good. We need someone new for the office. You, me and Loker definitely can't handle all the cases we have."

The next week and a half passed by quickly. Soon, Cal and Gillian were standing in line for a flight to Texas. She smiled at Cal and he flashed a look to their subject. She walked over to them and asked to see his briefcase. He didn't want to show it and told her that he'd just check it.

This caused her to tell him that he needed to come with her. Gillian had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. She said, "No, you need to come with us."

Soon, they were ushering Ria Torres into their office. The months passed quickly. Soon, they reached one of the worst days of Gillian and Cal's life.

The day started off much like any other day. Cal and Gillian were laughing and talking on the way into the office. Soon, the mood in the office changed. There, in the lobby, stood a gunman. He had a gun to Ria's head.

Cal tried to talk him down and said, "Take me hostage. I'm more valuable to you."

Gillian wanted to slug him. She wanted to tell him no. To stop what he was going to do. She knew that nothing she said would make him stop. So, she could only standby and watch helplessly as the gunman released Ria and took Cal hostage. She wanted to reach out and touch him, maybe for the final time. She watched as the man took him into one of their back rooms.

She looked at Loker and Torres and said, "Lets find out what he wants."

They nodded and worked on finding out who killed the man's wife.

Meanwhile, Cal worked to talk to the man. Gillian kept coming in from time to time to give him updates. Then, the gunman asked, "You doing her?"

Cal flashed him a hard look and said, "Watch how you talk about my wife."

Nodding the gunman said, "I was like that with my wife."

"Like what?"

"Protective. I loved her more than anything in the world."

"I feel that way about Gilly. She's my everything."

Gillian watched all of this unfold and dissolved into tears. She wanted to talk to him. Tell him that everything is going to be okay, but all she could do is sit there and watch him. She finally reached out and touched the screen. She whispered softly, "I love you Cal."

"He'll be fine Doctor Lightman. He's smart. He knows what he's doing."

Finally, after meeting all of the gunman's demands, Gillian pleaded for his life, "Please. You have to let him go. We've met all of your demands. Please.... Please let him go."

Cal knew that pleading with the gunman would only make him angrier. She sighed inwardly and saw his eye signals. She didn't like it, but knew that he was telling her to stop what she was doing. She almost hated him for it.

Finally, they decided that they were going to use Loker as bait to get the gunman to release Cal. It worked and the gunman was shot. Thanks to an alert Agent Reynolds.

Gillian rushed to Cal and kissed him. Then she pushed him away and looked him in the eyes and said, "I love you. Don't you ever do that to me again!"

"I'm sorry luv. I won't. I promise."

Then they kissed. Gillian knew how close she came to losing him that day. She cried against his chest. All the emotions pouring out and she cried until she felt like she had no more tears to cry.

The months passed and soon, Arianna was nearly two years old. She had Cal, Gillian and Emily wrapped around her very little fingers. Emily would hurry to the Lightman Group so that she could spend time with her before they went home. Some nights, she and Arianna would go out to dinner with their parents.

A few times, people asked her how old her little girl was. She had to laugh and explain that it wasn't her little girl. It was her little sister. It was okay. She didn't mind. She loved her like she was her own.

It was just after her second birthday that Gillian found out she was pregnant again. At first, she'd thought that she simply had the flu. She should've known better though. She just returned from the doctor and dropped her purse on the floor and sank down onto the couch. Cal, Emily and Arianna arrived home. Arianna saw her mom and took off running for her, "Mommy!"

Gillian laughed and hugged her tightly. She looked Cal in the eyes and he mouthed, "Are you okay?"

She nodded softly and mouthed back, "I'm fine. I'll tell you later."

Emily saw the exchange between her parents and said, "Hey Ari! How about we go upstairs and I'll give you your bath. Then we can eat dinner."

"Fry fries?"

Emily smiled and said, "Sure. I'll get you some fry fries."

"Yay!"

Gillian and Cal laughed as their daughters walked upstairs, making more noise than a herd of cattle.

Cal finally sat down and looked at Gillian and said, "Okay, what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong really."

"You sure? Cause you look shocked and upset."

"I'm not upset really, just shocked at some news that the doctor gave me."

Cal knew that she had been sick. He looked at her and said, "Is everything okay luv?"

Gillian nodded and then she burst out in tears. Cal gathered her close and whispered, "It's okay. Shush! It's okay. It can't be that bad."

"It's not, b-bad, I-i..."

Cal whispered, "It's okay luv. Whatever's wrong we'll get through it."

Gillian decided that she was just going to blurt it out. It was at that moment that Emily and Arianna walked into the kitchen, "I'm pregnant!"

Emily had heard her and came running out of the kitchen, "Really! You're not kidding us are you?"

Gillian laughed and said, "Really. The doctor said that I'm about two months pregnant."

Emily jumped up and down and said, "Cool!"

Arianna was in the stage that she copied everything her sister did. She mimicked her sister and said, "Coo..."

Emily looked down at her little sister and said, "It is cool! Isn't is Ari?"

Arianna nodded and said, "It is." Then she started laughing and said, "Fry fries Em."

Emily nodded and went to go back into the kitchen. Before she did, she knelt down to hug Gillian and whisper, "I love you mom! I'm really happy!"

Emily bounded away to make dinner for her sister.

Gillian looked at Cal and whispered, "Are you okay with this?"

Cal looked over at her and whispered, "Another baby?"

Gillian nodded and said, "I'm just as surprised as you are. Are you okay?"

Cal let out a whoop of joy, "Woo!"

Gillian laughed as he kissed her deeply. They kept kissing until they heard Emily say, "You do know that that's how babies are made right?"

Gillian and Cal laughed and leaned their foreheads against the others. They looked at each other and Cal whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I can't believe we're having another baby. I'm the luckiest man in the world. I love you Gillian Lightman."

"I love you Cal Lightman."


	19. Heartache Ahead?

**_Remember, I own nothing._**

A few months passed and Emily was happier than ever. She'd just found out that her mom was having twins. Gillian had nearly fainted at the idea of twins. Then, they told her that they were going to be identical twins. Even better, the twins were boys! She was going to have two little brothers! She was a bit happier than her parents. She laughed when Gillian said, "I look like a beached whale."

"Mom, you said that when you were pregnant with Ari. You're pregnant and you're beautiful. You know that's what dad always tells you."

"Oh, what does your dad know? He's a man!"

Emily laughed and said, "Well, he still knows that you're beautiful."

"Yeah and he knows that if he doesn't say that, then I'll kill him."

Emily nearly choked on her drink. She looked at her mom and said, "You wouldn't?"

"Oh yes I would."

They were silent for awhile. Until Emily finally said, "You know that I'm going away to college next week."

Gillian nodded and said, "Yeah. I'm going to miss you."

Emily laughed and said, "I'm only an hour away. I just want to live on campus. Something different."

Gillian nodded and said, "I can understand that. I'll expect you to come home for all the holidays and when the babies are born."

Emily nodded and said, "I wouldn't miss seeing my little brother's being born for anything in the world."

Gillian looked at Emily and whispered, "I'm going to miss you. I hope you know that."

Emily nodded and said, "I'm going to miss you too. Part of me wants to stay here. I don't want to go away. I...."

Gillian looked at her and said, "I don't want to hear any talk like that. You're going to go away to college and have a great time. You can come back on the weekends and for the holidays."

Emily shrugged and said, "I know..."

"Look, I can't tell you that it's going to be easy. You can call us every night. I was like that when I went away to school. Trust me."

"Really?"

"Truly. I love you Em. You're going to be fine."

"I know. I love you mom!"

Gillian and Emily hugged each other while they cried. Cal came in during the middle of this. He looked at the two of them and whispered, "I don't even want to know."

Gillian and Emily ignored them while they cried.

A week later they were again holding each other and crying. Cal and Gillian were dropping her off at college. Arianna was with them as well. She was the only one of the females that wasn't crying. Cal rolled his eyes and said, "Trust me Arianna, in a few years, you'll be doing this too."

She just looked at him and smiled.

They drove home in silence. Gillian cried a bit on the way. Cal reached over and held her hand. Then he whispered, "She'll be fine luv."

Gillian nodded and said, "I know. It's me I'm worried about."

Cal nodded and said, "I know luv. I know."

Months passed and Gillian was eight months pregnant. She went into labor early one morning. She knew that something was wrong the minute her labor started. The labor pains were nothing like she'd felt with Arianna. She nearly passed out from the intensity of the pain.

She did manage to call Cal before she passed out. She whispered, "I need you Cal. Something's terribly wrong."

"What's wrong luv?"

"Come home."

"Gilly? Gilly answer me! Are you okay?"

There was no answer however. Cal hurried home and hoped that he was in time. He called emergency services. They'd arrived at their house just before Cal had. He unlocked the door and they all rushed inside. They found Gillian passed out on the floor with a pool of blood around her legs and Arianna sitting beside her crying.

Cal worked to calm their daughter down, "Shush luv. It's okay. Mommy just sleeping."

Arianna buried her face in his shoulder. Cal had also called Emily and told her that she needed to come home. Luckily she had a car and was able to drive herself to their house. She arrived just as they were taking Gillian out on a stretcher. She saw her dad and Arianna and asked, "Dad? Is mom okay?"

Cal shook his head and said, "I don't know Em. I just got here. I'm going to ride in the ambulance with her. Stay here with your sister please."

Emily nodded and whispered softly, "Sure. Call me when you know something dad."

"I will luv." With a kiss to her cheek he hurried out the door and into the waiting ambulance.

Emily closed the door and walked inside. Scared to death that her mom and brothers were going to be okay.

The ambulance arrived at the hospital after what seemed like ages. Cal had never been so scared before. He held her hand during the ambulance ride. The paramedics monitored the babies heartbeats. They were stronger than expected. Gillian's heartbeat however, was fading quickly.

They arrived at the hospital and she was rushed into the emergency room. The doctors quickly determined that the reason for Gillian's collapse was because of a separated placenta. They rushed Gillian into emergency surgery. The doctors performed an emergency c-section.

Cal had never been so scared before. He not only stood to lose her two sons. The life of his wife hung in the balance. A doctor walked out from behind the emergency room doors and looked at Cal and whispered, "Your sons are in the pediatric intensive care unit. They are a bit premature, but they should be okay soon."

"My wife?"

The doctor shook his head and said, "It's too soon to say. She lost a lot of blood and she's fading fast. She's in a coma right now. If she makes it through the night it will be a miracle."

Cal felt as if he been punched in the stomach and knocked to the ground. The room around him started spinning wildly and he had to sit down before he collapsed. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Her life wasn't supposed to be in danger.

He stood up and walked outside the hospital to call Emily. He didn't know how he was going to make that call. He'd hoped that he would be able to call and tell his daughter that she was going to be okay. Now, she was going to tell that her mom might not survive the night.

Emily picked up on the first ring, "Hello?"

"Em. It's me luv."

"How's mom?"

Cal choked up and started crying. It was the first and only time that Emily had ever seen her father cry. She managed to whisper, "No. She can't be gone."

"She's not Em. Not yet. I need you to get your sister and come down here. I want you girls to be able to...to say goodbye to her."

"No dad! It can't be... There's some mistake!"

He knew that Emily was becoming hysterical. He finally had to shout at her, "Emily!"

He heard her muffled sobs and then said, "I need you to be strong for you sister. I need you to bring her down here. Can you do that for me luv?"

"I don't want to dad. I can't lose another mom. I..."

"I know luv, I know. I don't want to lose her either."

Emily nodded and said, "I'll be there dad."

They disconnected the phone and Cal walked into the room to see Gillian. She looked so pale and still. He sat next to her for a few minutes before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw a nurse standing there with a sympathetic look on her face. She whispered softly, "Would you like to meet your sons?"

Their sons. In all the panic and confusion he'd forgotten about his sons. He didn't want to leave her side, but he did want to see them. He walked to the window and there, in two incubators, were his and Gillian's sons. They were a bit tiny, but otherwise perfect. Gillian leaned his head on the glass and cried. It was so unfair. Gillian should be here looking at them with him. Not laying there in that hospital on the verge of death.

He pushed himself away from the glass and walked back towards her room. However, he heard a code blue being called and saw a number of doctors and nurses running towards Gillian's room. He watched with a helpless feeling as the nurses and doctors worked on her.

One of the doctors said, "Her heart stopped. We managed to get it going again. However, I don't think she's going to make it through the night. I wish I had better news."

Cal sank to the floor and let out great sobs of anguish. He only stopped crying when he felt a little hand patting him on his head and a small voice whispering, "Daddy cry?"

Cal looked up at her and said, "I'm okay luv. I'm just worried about your mum."

"Mommy? Where's mommy?"

Emily took her sister's hand and led her over to the bed. She lifted her sister up and Arianna saw her mom. She climbed into bed with her and whispered, "Mommy? Wake up mommy."

Emily smiled at her and said, "Mommy's sleeping Ari."

The little girl nodded and said, "Mommy's going to be okay."

"She is?"

"Yeah. The angel told me so. She said that it's not mommy's time yet. That she still has work to do with me and my brothers."

Emily and Cal looked at each other in confusion. Finally Cal said, "Who told you that Arianna?"

Arianna looked at her dad and put a hand on her hip and said, "The angel daddy! You remember me telling you about the pretty angel with the brown hair. She said that she was your mommy. She had the same name as me."

Cal looked at her and said, "What else did she tell you Ari?"

"She said that she loves you. She also said that she's proud of you and that she thinks you married a pretty woman."

Then, three year old Arianna said, "I also saw Em's mommy."

Emily's eyes widened in surprise and she asked, "You did?"

"Uh huh. She said that she's proud of you too. She said that she's not mad that you call mommy mommy."

"She did?"

Arianna nodded and said, "Yeah. She said that she's my Guardian Angel. Just like daddy's mommy. They are looking over us. Then they both said that mommy's going to be okay."

Emily and Gillian didn't know what to think. Arianna seemed to be so confident of what she was saying, but she was only three. Granted, she didn't know Gillian wasn't Emily's mom and Cal was sure that he'd never told her her Grandmother's name.

Cal hugged her close and closed his eyes and cried loudly again. Arianna pulled back and said, "Daddy! I told you that she's going to be okay! Don't you believe me?"

Cal nodded and said, "I do honey, I do."

Emily walked over to hug them both. They hugged each other tightly. After a few minutes they heard the sweetest words ever.

"Are the boys okay?"

Emily, Cal and Arianna all turned around to look at Gillian. She was smiling at them weakly. She looked at them and whispered, "Are you two okay?"

Emily and Cal nodded and rushed over to hug her. Then, Cal said, I need to get your doctor's in here.

Gillian looked at them and asked, "What happened?"

Cal hit the call button as he started to explain what happened to her. She couldn't believe it. She whispered, "I almost died?"

Cal nodded and said, "Yes luv."

Gillian pulled him close and hugged him tightly. She cried harder than she ever had before.

Gillian and the boys were finally released from the hospital a few weeks later. They wanted Gillian to stay in the hospital. Especially after the scare that she'd been through. The entire office planned a coming home party for them.

Ria smiled at Loker and said, "You know, I think I'm going to regret listening to you."

"What? It's a great idea? They are going to love it. Trust me."

She gave him a "Yeah right." type of look. He smiled and gave her a quick kiss and said, "Trust me! Have I ever been wrong before?"

She laughed and said, "Do you want me to list them chronologically or by the order of how mad Lightman was?"

He laughed and said, "I don't think that's necessary. Plus, this is a good thing that we are doing."

She had to admit that it was a good idea. Their bosses deserved a bit of fun. Especially after everything that went on during the past few weeks. She finally said, "You're right. I know that you're right. Let's just go and get ready."

They had everyone gathered in Cal and Gillian's house. Emily was there and the lights were turned out. She kept an eye on the door and finally announced, "They're coming! Quiet everyone!"

Emily could hear her parents walking up to the front door. Everyone was quiet and when Cal turned on the lights, everyone yelled, "Surprise!"

Cal and Gillian were extremely surprised. They both looked at everyone and said, "What? You guys!"

Cal looked at Emily and said, "How much did you have to do with this?"

Emily grinned and said, "A little bit. Most of it was Eli and Ria's idea."

Loker looked at Cal and said, "Only if you're happy. If you're in a bad mood then it was all my idea."

Torres looked at him and laughed. There was a time that he would've tried to put all the blame on her. She knew that his love for her had changed him. She looked at him and said, "It's both of our ideas. No matter what."

Cal smiled at the couple and said, "It was a nice surprise. Good job."

They smiled as Cal and Gillian walked around the room. They said hi to their co-workers.

The party was over way too soon. Although Cal could tell the Gillian was tired. It was something that the doctor's had warned about. She was probably going to be tired for a little while. Her body was still recovering from the birth of the boys.

Finally, after everyone had went home, Cal and Gillian were laying on their bed and talking.

"That was a nice surprise. I never would've thought that they would take the time to do something this nice for us."

Cal smiled and said, "It was more because of you."

Gillian smiled and said, "They like you too."

Cal smiled and joked, "Yeah, they like me on payday. You're the one that they are always bringing bloody slushies, cookies and cupcakes too."

Gillian laughed and said, "Hey! I share with you. At least most of the time."

Cal rolled his eyes and started to say, "Sure you do luv, I..."

He looked over and noticed that she was already asleep. He pulled the blanket over her and turned off the light. He'd no sooner closed his eyes and the babies started crying. Gillian stirred and said, "I'm up."

Cal laughed as he got out of bed. Together, they went to take care of their sons.


	20. The Trouble With Jared

**_Remember, I own nothing._**

The next three years went by quicker than anyone thought it could. Arianna was getting ready to start school. Gillian's eyes were filled with tears as she watched her little girl walk into her classroom. She was a self assured little girl and wasn't acting like the other kids. Most kids were clinging to their parents and not wanting them to leave. Arianna turned around and waved to her mom and dad and disappeared into the classroom.

Cal looked at her and asked, "Are you okay?"

Gillian shook her head and said, "No, but I will be. I just need a moment."

Cal smiled and took her hand. The boys were at their daycare. There was never a dull moment in the Lightman household. It was filled with lots of laughter and love.

Cal looked at her again and said, "She will be fine luv."

"I know, but I don't know if I will."

Cal pulled her in close for a hug and whispered, "You'll be fine. She'll be home before you know it. In fact, we'd better get to work if we're going to get done with everything before you have to pick her up."

Gillian nodded as she took one last quick look at her. She smiled as Arianna looked up and waved at her. She blew her a kiss and smiled as Arianna pretended to catch it. Then, she did the same as Arianna blew the kiss back.

They settled in the car and Gillian looked at Cal. He was an incredibly handsome man. She leaned closer to him and whispered, "I love you."

He smiled at her and said, "Love you too."

He was having a hard time concentrating on driving. This was partly due to the fact that Gillian had her hands on his thighs. Another reason, was because Gillian was nibbling on his ear. After a few minutes, he moaned and said, "Ohhhhhh..."

She pulled back and smiled, "Is there something wrong?"

Cal shook his head and said, "No, there's nothing wrong."

"Good. I'd hate to think that I'm doing this wrong."

"Doing what wrong?"

"I'm trying to seduce my husband."

"Really?"

"Well, if you need to ask, then maybe I'm doing something wrong. I guess I need to practice a bit more."

With that she started nibbling on his ear again. He moaned again. This time louder than ever.

Cal smiled and took her hand and announced, "We aren't going to work today."

Gillian gave him a sexy smile and asked, "Were not?"

Cal shook his head and said, "Nope. We're going to go home."

"And do what?"

Cal smiled slyly and said, "You'll see."

She leaned closer to him and whispered in a husky voice, "I love the sound of that."

"God. Just wait until we get home."

She smiled and said, "I'll just keep doing this."

"We might not make it home."

"You just concentrate on the road sir."

Gillian smiled as she rested her chin on his shoulder. She smiled as she blew lightly on his neck. She felt him shiver and then felt the car accelerate. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes.

They arrived home in record time. The minute they walked in the door of their house he was on her. He kissed her roughly and pushed her against the wall in the living room.

She pulled back and barely had time to catch her breath before she felt him taking off his belt. She rushed to get her clothes off. Soon, they were naked and Cal whispered, "I can't wait. I need you now."

Gillian nodded as he led her over to the kitchen. He lifted her up on the counter and smiled down at her. She felt him rubbing her clit. She threw back her head and moaned loudly. Cal smiled and said, "Let go for me Gilly."

She looked into his eyes and felt him touching her. It felt incredible. She moaned and threw her head back and moaned loudly. Cal smiled as he watched her face as she came. She looked at him and whispered, "Bastard."

Cal chuckled and said, "I love you too."

She laid her head on his chest and said, "Shut up and make love to me."

Cal smiled and said, "Gladly."

He took her down from the counter and carried her into the living room. He laid her on the couch and looked down at her for a moment. She smiled and said, "I love you."

"Love you too."

She watched as he moved closer to her and felt him rub up against her opening. She arched her back and whispered, "Oh Cal."

"Tell me what you want luv?"

"I want you."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Want you to make love to me."

"You sure luv?"

She nodded and said, "Yes Cal!"

Cal smiled and pushed himself inside her. She threw back her head and arched her back. It felt so good to have him inside her. Every time they made love, it was like something out of a storybook. It sounded clichéd, but it felt like the first time.

Cal smiled when she threw a leg over his head. She loved it when he took her deep and fast. She moaned as he slammed into her. He used his hands to rub her breasts. They looked into each other's eyes and there was absolutely no doubt about the love that they felt for each other.

Gillian felt another orgasm building, but she knew that Cal was close to his own release. So, she did what she always did when she wanted to hold back. She pulled him closer to her and kissed him deeply. Then, she whispered, "I want you."

Cal chuckled and said, "You've got me."

She shook her head and kicked him off of her. Then she repositioned herself on the couch. So that her butt was facing him. She smiled and said, "This is how I want you."

Cal growled and said, "Bloody hell luv."

He didn't fight her. He simply allowed himself to enter her. She turned around and watched him as he took her. Deep and hard. She knew that it was only a matter of time. So, she tightened her muscles around him. She heard him groan loudly and whispered, "Oh God!"

She smiled and said, "Cum with me Cal!"

He nodded and rubbed his hands on her back. It drove her wild. She threw back her head and moaned. He grabbed her hair and held on. They came together in a tidal wave. They collapsed on the couch. Cal held her and whispered, "I love you."

Gillian whispered, "I love you too. So very, very much."

"Thank you for that luv."

She felt the little kisses that he planted on her back and smiled. She loved him. That much was clear. Anyone that knew the couple could see the love written on their faces.

They got up and finally got dressed again. They spent the day lounging around the house and stealing kisses. It was a wonderful day, only interrupted when Emily called them.

She was worried about them. She'd called the office and Heidi had told them that they weren't there and that she didn't know where they were. She called Gillian's cell phone and said, "Are you and dad okay?"

Gillian smiled and said, "We're fine. We just decided to skip work today."

Emily was silent for a few seconds. Finally she said, "You? You decided to skip work? I can't believe it."

Gillian laughed and said, "Well, it's true. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's perfect."

Emily laughed and said, "You sure sound happy."

"I am. Extremely happy."

Emily giggled and said, "I hope that one day I'm as happy as you are with dad."

Gillian smiled and said, "That's the only thing I want for you Emily. I want you to find a love like ours."

Emily had always wanted a love like that. It was something that, even though her father drove her crazy at time, she looked for in every guy she dated. She'd had a few okay dates, but most of the guys were just out for one thing. That was something that she wasn't willing to give. So, for the last few months, she'd been without a date, that all changed last night. She'd met a man that made her toes curl and made her smile. She wanted her mom's opinion. So, she asked her, "Mom, I need some help."

"Is everything okay?"

Emily swallowed and said, "I'm fine. I just need your help."

"Okay. Do I need to drive out there?"

"Yeah. I think so. Oh and can you keep it a secret from my dad?"

"Okay. What's up?"

"I've met someone. I think he might be the one, but..."

"You're scared."

"Yeah. It's crazy, but I..."

That's when Emily started crying. Gillian knew that there were probably a thousand thoughts going through her mind. Finally, she whispered, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Emily whispered, "Okay. Oh and mom."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. I love you."

Gillian nodded and said, "I love you too sweetheart."

They hung up the phone and Gillian told Cal, "I'm going to go meet Emily."

"Okay. I'll come with you."

Gillian smiled and said, "You really want to go clothes shopping with us?"

Gillian almost laughed at the expression on his face. Then he said, "I think I'll stay home. Maybe I'll catch up on some work."

Gillian smiled and said, "You sure? We can always use someone to carry our bags."

Cal smiled and said, "I'm sure. You know how much I hate shopping."

Gillian smiled, kissed him and said, "I know. I'll miss you."

"Miss you to luv."

She stood in the living room and watched him for a minute. She hated lying to him, but maybe they would do some shopping while she was there. She turned, grabbed her purse and headed out the door.

She arrived at the college a little over and hour later. She smiled as she made her way up to Emily's dorm room. She knocked on the door and smiled when Emily opened the door. She was growing up so fast. They hugged and Gillian made her way into her room. She sat on a chair and Emily sat on her bed.

Finally after a few minutes of making small talk, Gillian said, "So, who's this guy that you want me to check out."

Emily laughed and said, "His name is Tom. He's a Senior. He's great. At least I think he is. I don't know. I'm usually pretty good at reading people, but I can't tell with him. Maybe it's because I love him, but it's hard to tell."

"Do you want to invite him to have lunch with us?"

"You don't mind?"

"Emily, if this is important to you, then no, I don't mind."

"Just don't let him know that you're reading him."

Gillian laughed and said, "I live with your father. I've gotten good at hiding that."

Emily laughed and said, "I already told him that you were coming to meet us for lunch."

Gillian smiled and said, "I knew that. Just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"That no matter what I see, you'll listen to me, good or bad,"

Emily smiled and said, "I trust you mom."

They hugged and Gillian said, "Let's go."

They hurried to the little cafe on the corner. Gillian smiled when she saw the young man that stood up when she and Emily approached. He stood until they sat. Then, he leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek.

Gillian smiled as Emily introduced her, "Jared, this is my mom. Mom, this is Jared."

He shook her hand and then made a comment that bothered her.

"You must look like your dad Emily, because you look nothing like your mom."

Emily stiffened and said, "I told you that she wasn't my real mom. But she's just as much my mom and my real mom is."

"Of course."

Gillian noticed a look of disdain cross his face. She didn't like it and didn't quite share Emily's thoughts of this young man. Everything that he said and did rubbed her the wrong way. Finally, the lunch was over and Gillian and Emily got up to leave. She turned and said, "Goodbye Jared."

She didn't bother to say that it was nice to meet him, because truthfully, it would've been a lie. She didn't like this boy. That's what he was. A boy. He didn't seem to realize that she didn't like him.

The minute they left the restaurant, Emily asked, "What did you think of him mom?"

Gillian sighed and said, "I think that you need to look for someone else Emily. I could see a lot of deception and disdain, especially when you told him about our relationship."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It's up to you, but I think that he has a lot of growing up to do Em."

Emily got quiet for a bit. Until finally she said, "I love you mom. I kind of thought the same thing, but...."

"I know. You love him don't you?"

Emily nodded and said, "That's going to make this a lot harder."

"What?"

"Breaking up with him. I don't think I'm ever going to find that special someone."

Gillian pulled her close for a hug and whispered, "You will sweetheart and when you do, you won't need me or your dad to tell you that he loves you or that he's lying or not. When it's real, you'll know."

"Really? Was that the way it was for you and dad?"

Gillian nodded and said, "That's the way it was for both of us."

Emily swallowed and hard, "Except that my mom had to..."

"Shush! It just wasn't meant to be sweetie. I don't regret it for a second!"

"I know. I just feel guilty."

"The guilt isn't yours to feel though. It belongs to your mom, dad and me."

"You, why would you feel guilty mom?"

Gillian sighed and said, "Because I wasn't strong enough back then to fight for him. To fight for what I wanted. If I would've done that, who knows where we'd all be right now."

Emily nodded and said, "I love you mom!"

She threw herself at Gillian. Gillian hugged her tightly and said, "I love you too Em."

Suddenly, Emily remembered, "Oh gosh! How was Arianna when you dropped her off at school this morning?"

Gillian laughed and said, "She waved at me and didn't look back."

Emily laughed too and said, "Typical. She's so like dad."

"She is. More than he cares to admit."

"A female dad is a scary thing."

"That it is."

"Are you sure the world can handle it?"

"That remains to be seen."

"I feel sorry for her teacher. Especially since Ari's so bright. She knows a lot more than your average five year old."

"I know. I'm expecting a call from the teacher sometime this week."

Emily laughed and said, "Heaven help us all."

They hugged and then Gillian said, "I told your dad that we were going shopping."

"Want to?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Let's go."

They laughed as they headed towards the mall....


	21. Emily Rose

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love...._**

Gillian arrived home just before Arianna got home from school that night. She smiled at Cal, kissed him and asked, "Did you miss me?"

"Of course I did luv. I always miss you."

"Good."

Cal eyed her strangely and then asked, "So, did the latest boy that Emily wanted you to check out meet your approval?"

"What? How did you know?"

Cal smiled and said, "I know everything."

"You're impossible. I really hate it when you read me."

"I know, but it does involve more than just you."

"I hate you. You know that?"

Cal smirked at her and said, "I know. I hate you too."

"So, if we hate each other so much why am I wanting to take you upstairs and make love to you?"

"Because we have a love hate relationship luv."

"We do?"

"Oh yeah. We love to hate each other."

"What? That makes no sense."

Cal laughed and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "So, what did you think of the boy?"

"I didn't like him."

"Did you tell Emily that?"

"Yes, but she already had the same feelings. She just wanted me to confirm it."

"I guess we did something right then."

"Cal, she's a smart young lady. Plus, she's got you for a father."

"And you for a mum. You had a lot to do with her being the way she is today."

"You're funny."

"Why? It's the truth."

"I know."

They sat back for a few minutes and then Cal started running his hands through her hair. She smiled and said, "We can't Cal. Arianna will be home soon."

"Just a quickie?"

"No. Because I don't ever want to make love to you quickly it's too much fun."

Cal leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Then he smiled and said, "Love you."

"We're still not making love. We have less than five minutes before she gets home.'

"You take all of the fun out of being naughty."

"That's what I'm here for."

Cal laughed and said, "You live to torture me."

"If you think this is torture then you're going to love what I do to you tonight."

"Promise?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Cross my heart."

Cal smiled and kissed her deeply and the stood up to go meet the bus. Gillian held his hand on the way out the door. She leaned over to kiss him softly. He smiled at her and she gave him a smile too.

They greeted their daughter and then Cal went to go pick up the boys while she made dinner and listened to Arianna talk about her day. Gillian smiled and said, "It sounds like you have fun sweetheart. Did you make any new friends today?"

She nodded and said, "I made a bunch of friends mommy. One of them even has sissy's name."

"Really? You made a friend named Emily?"

She nodded and said, "Yeah, but she's not as nice as sissy. Can I call her and tell her about my day?"

Gillian looked at the clock on the wall. She knew that Emily wasn't in any of her classes so she said, "Sure. Go ahead."

She watched her daughter pick up the phone and dial Emily's number. There was a strange look on Arianna's face. Gillian asked, "What's wrong Ari?"

Arianna looked at Gillian and said, "Emily's crying. I don't know what she's saying mommy."

Gillian held out her hand and said, "Give me the phone sweetheart."

Arianna handed the phone to her mom. She went into the living room and waited for her dad and brothers to get home.

Gillian took the phone and said, "Em?"

"Mom? I'm so sorry! I never meant for it it happen. I shouldn't have listened to him. He said that he just wanted to talk. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore, but when I did he got mad and...."

"What happened Emily?"

Emily was crying so hard that Gillian couldn't understand her. She had to say sharply, "Emily! Slow down. I can't understand what you're telling me."

"He hit me mom, and not just once. He kept hitting me and calling me all kinds of nasty names. I couldn't stop him mom. He was too strong. I...."

"Wait a minute. What did he do to you Emily? Did he.. Did he rape you?"

"No! He hit me and called me a lot of nasty names. I walked back into the dorm and my roommate called the police and they took me to the hospital."

"Emily! You stay there. I'm coming to be with you!"

"You can't mom! You have the kids to look after."

"Listen here Emily Rose, if you think for one second that I'm going to let you go through this alone then you have another thing coming. I'm going to take Arianna to the Lightman Group daycare and then I'm coming up there."

"Don't tell dad! He would kill him."

"Emily, I can't hide this from your father. You know that! Plus, maybe the boy needs to be scared, because your dad wouldn't kill him. Despite how much he might want to."

She heard Emily crying softly and said, "Sweetie, none of this is your fault. You did nothing wrong."

"Okay."

"Emily, I'm going to be there as soon as I can. Now, I'm going to hang up the phone and call your father. So, he can meet me at work. I promise you. Everything will be okay."

Emily responded with a softly spoken, "Okay mom."

"I love you."

"I love you too mom. I'm sorry."

"Emily, you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Okay."

Despite not wanting to, Gillian hung up the phone. She knew that he was going to be furious when she told him. She put the meat back in the fridge and called out the Arianna, "Sweetheart, we need to go."

"Where are we going mommy?"

"I'm taking you to the daycare at work. There's something that your father and I need to do."

"What mommy?"

"We need to go talk to your sister."

"I want to come!"

"Not this time Arianna. I promise you that I'll take you to see her soon."

The little girl seemed to realize that there was something in Gillian's tone that said it wasn't something she should push. So, she smiled and said, "I'll get the boys coloring books for them."

Gillian watched as her daughter went up the stairs to get her things. She smiled and waited for Cal to answer. He picked up on the second ring. She heard him say, "Miss me already?"

"Have you picked up the boys?"

"No. I'm almost to the daycare. Why?"

"Don't pick them up. I'm bringing Arianna to the daycare."

"What's wrong Gilly?"

She whispered quickly, "It's Em. We have to go to her."

"Why?"

I can't tell you. I want to see you when I tell you."

"Gillian?"

"Cal, please. Don't ask me to do this over the phone."

Cal sighed and said, "Okay. Hurry up luv."

Gillian promised that she would hurry. Soon, she and Arianna were on their way to the daycare. They got there in record time and Gillian dropped her off quickly.


	22. Bruises & Blame

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love...._**

She knew that Cal was dying to find out what was going on. Once they were outside she told him.

"Emily's in the hospital."

"What? What happened? Is she okay? Was she in an accident?"

Gillian shook her head and said, "She wasn't in an accident Cal. What happened to her was done on purpose."

"What? What the hell happened?"

Gillian swallowed hard and said, "Rmember that guy I went up there to meet? Well, she tried to tell him that she didn't want to see him anymore. He became violent and hit her."

"What? I'll kill him!"

"Cal, that's not the answer. Look, we need to go up there. Emily's roommate called the police. Let them do their job."

Cal looked at her and said, "I'm driving."

Gillian shook her head and said, "No, you're too upset to drive. Let me."

Cal looked at her and knew that she was right. He nodded and handed her the keys to his car. She looked at him and said, "I'll tell you what I told her, it's not your fault. It's nobody's fault except the boy that did this."

Cal nodded and said, "I know. I just want to get to her."

Gillian nodded and started the car and drove to the hospital.

Cal fought hard to control his anger. He knew that if he ever saw the person that did this to his daughter, he wouldn't be held responsible for his actions. He looked over at Gillian and whispered, "I want to hurt him. Kill him actually."

Gillian nodded and said, "I know. And so does Emily. That's why she didn't want me to tell you."

"She didn't?"

"No, because she knew what you'd want to do."

"She's right you know."

"I do. That's why you have to promise me that you're not going to go crazy when we get to the hospital."

Cal looked over at her and said, "As long as I don't see the ass that hurt her I won't."

Gillian smiled. She knew that was the reaction he was going to have. She gave his hand a tight squeeze and said, "I doubt if he will show up."

"If he does promise me that you'll tell me. Then I can take him outside and have a nice _chat_ with the bloke."

Gillian doubted that they would run into him, so she said, "I will."

Nodding he turned towards the front of the car. They arrived at the hospital and Cal was out of the car almost before it stopped. Gillian grabbed her purse and was heading to catch up with him when she heard someone calling her name, "Mrs. Lightman!"

Gillian turned in the direction of the voice and was shocked to see that the person calling her name was none other than Jared. She couldn't believe the nerve of this boy. She tried calling out to Cal, but he was hell bent on his task. She turned to face him and said, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to see Emily, but she started freaking out. Telling everyone that I'm the one that did this to her. She's crazy."

Gillian looked at him and could immediately tell that he was lying. She looked at him and said, "No, she's not. She's telling the truth and you're the one that's lying. I'll give you a good piece of advice. Stay away from me and my daughter or else."

"Or else what? I weigh twice as much as you do. I'm stronger and quite honestly, I could snap you in two."

That's when he heard, "But I'm just your size and not so easily intimidated!"

Before Jared knew what happened, Cal had him laid out on the ground. He pointed a finger at him and said, "If you ever threaten my wife or daughter again, you will pay."

Jared simply looked at him and said, "Whatever! She's not worth it."

Gillian looked at him and said, "She is worth it, you're just too blind to notice."

With that, Gillian and Cal walked away. Gillian whispered, "I didn't think you heard me."

"I heard you luv, I just wanted to see if what just happened did."

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him. Then she whispered, "I love you. Let's go see our daughter."

Cal smiled and held the door open for her as she smiled back at him.

They walked over to the desk and Cal said, "Emily Lightman?"

The nurse looked at him and then to Gillian. She smiled and said, "She's in room four twelve."

Cal nodded and held onto Gillian's hand while they waited for the elevator. Gillian knew that he was filled with emotions. Anger, fright, and a healthy dose of worry. She felt all of these. She also felt a bit guilty. She knew that it was her fault that she'd told Jared that she should break it off with him. It was her fault that she was in this hospital.

When they reached the room, Gillian told Cal, "I'll wait out here."

"Your sure luv?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Yeah. Call me if you need me. Otherwise, I'll be out here waiting for you."

Cal cocked his head to the side and looked at her for a couple seconds. Finally, he kissed her and said, "I love you."

Gillian smiled at him sadly and said, "I know. I love you too."

He looked at her again and said, "You do know that this isn't your fault right?"

"How can I not think that? It was me that told her she should break up with him? If I didn't tell her that, then maybe she wouldn't be in that damn hospital room."

Cal put his hands on either side of her face and said, "This is not your fault."

Gillian nodded and said, "It is. I'm going to go downstairs. I've got something I need to do."

Cal looked at her and said, "Don't do anything crazy luv."

She didn't respond as she waited for the elevator. He wanted to run after her, but he needed to see Emily for himself. So, he walked into her room. He was shocked at her appearance. Her lip was swollen and cut. She had a black eye and several cuts on her face. She saw him come into the room and started crying. It nearly tore him in two.

He walked over to her bed and whispered softly, "Hey luv."

Emily opened her eyes and whispered, "Daddy."

Cal smiled. Emily hadn't called him that since she was a little girl. It felt good to hear it again, even if it was under these circumstances. She looked around and asked, "Where's mom?"

Cal swallowed hard and said, "She had something that she had to do."

"What's she up to? It's not like mom to not want to come and see me."

"I don't know luv. She'd pretty upset. She thinks that this is her fault."

"What? It's not her fault that Jared's a jerk!"

"I tried telling her that luv, but she didn't want to believe me."

"You've got to go find her dad. I need to talk to her."

"She's not going to listen to me Em."

Emily went to get out of bed, but was stopped by the pain in her side. Cal looked at her funny and she said, "I've got two broken ribs."

"Bloody hell! I can't believe that boys not in jail."

Emily closed her eyes and said, "They said that there's not enough evidence that it was him that did it. The police don't believe me."

Cal looked down at his daughter. She looked so small and helpless. She closed her eyes and said, "Go get mom. Please?"

Cal looked at her and nodded, "I'll go get her. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Cal debated for a moment. Finally, he decided that the elevator was too slow, so he took the stairs down. He got down to the loby and looked around. He didn't see Gillian anywhere. So, he walked outside. He saw her arguing with the same man. He took off in a run. He got there just as the boy slapped Gillian on the face.

Cal took one look at him and said, "Get the hell out of here and leave my wife and daughter alone."

"What are you going to do to me old man?"

"You don't want to know. I can make you disappear. I have connections everywhere."

He looked at Cal and finally said, "Fine. I'm out of here. No girl is worth all this."

After making sure that Gillian was okay, he let her have it, "What on earth were you thinking luv?"

Gillian shook her head and said, "I wasn't. I just wanted him out of our lives. I..."

"Gilly, there are other ways to do this. God! I've never been so scared before, don't ever do that again!"

He hugged her close and she stiffened. Then she pulled away and said, "I'm going to go wait in the car."

"Why luv? Em wants to see you."

"She does?"

He nodded and said, "She's the reason I came after you. She practically threw me out of her room. She even insisted that I come after you."

Gillian looked surprised and said, "She did?"

Cal nodded and said, "Yes. Now, I'm more afraid of her than you might know. I'd suggest that you be afraid of her too."

Gillian laughed and said, "You're nuts. You do know that right?"

Cal smiled and said, "Only when it comes to you and the kids. Otherwise, I'm completely normal."

Gillian laughed and took his hand. Then she whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too. Now are you coming up to her room or do I have to carry you up there?"

"You wouldn't?"

"Oh I would."

She laughed and said, "I'm coming."

"Good because I'm really getting too old to carry you over my shoulder."

Gillian laughed and said, "You really wouldn't do that would you?"

"Don't tempt me."

Gillian laughed and then she pulled him close for a deep kiss.

Emily smiled when she saw her parents walk into the room. Despite the pain that she felt, she was relieved that they were there.

When Gillian saw Emily's cuts and bruises she had to keep from crying out in pain herself. She looked at her and whispered, "Oh God."

"Don't mom. It looks worse than it actually is."

Gillian rushed over to where she was laying and bent down to hug her. She didn't know about Emily's ribs. So she jumped back when Emily winced and said, "Ouch..."

"What? What's wrong?"

Emily closed her eyes and said, "My ribs."

"What happened to your ribs?"

"He broke two of them."

"Oh God! I'm so sorry Emily. I thought he was a jerk, but I didn't know that he'd do this."

Emily smiled and said, "It's not your fault mom. He's a psycho. I never should have went to see him after I told him we were done."

Gillian felt like she was going to pass out. She looked at Cal and saw nothing but love in his eyes. There was no animosity. No hate. Just love, pure and simple love. The same love shined brightly in Emily's eyes. She knew that she would never forget this day. She would spend every day trying to make it up to both of them.


	23. Emily's In Love?

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love...._**

The rest of the year passed quickly. Emily recovered quickly and soon graduated from college. She moved back home and got a job working in interior design. Despite her parents protest, she got and apartment of her own. She laughed at the conversation that she had with them.

Gillian looked at her and said, "You don't have to move out Em. We have plenty of room."

Emily looked at her and said, "I know that mom. It's just that, well, I'm twenty-two. It's time that I moved out on my own. I can't live with you guys all my life."

Cal piped up, "Sure you can luv. Just pretend like we aren't even here."

Emily laughed and said, "That's kind of hard to do when you guys are as noisy as you are."

Gillian blushed and Cal said, "You're not supposed to be listening."

Emily smiled and said, "Well, it's kind of hard not to. Especially when you guys start..."

Gillian was ready to die. She wanted to fade into the floor. She looked at the two of them and said, "Okay, I think we get the idea. Listen, you really don't have to move out. We..."

Emily sighed and said, "Mom, dad. Listen, it's nothing to do with either one of you. I just feel like it's time. I'm not moving across the country. I found a nice house on the next street over."

Cal and Gillian both smiled and said together, "A house?"

Emily nodded and said, "I've already saved up enough for a deposit and I got approved for a loan. It's perfect, three bedrooms and two bathrooms. It will be perfect when the kids come and visit. I'm already planning on making one of the bedrooms a guest room for them. Oh and I have a pool. Thank goodness we taught them how to swim. And I need to go shopping for..."

Cal laughed and said, "And she's off. I think she's excited."

Gillian smiled and said, "I guess we can at least go look at it. I mean it's only the next street over."

Cal nodded and looked at her softly. He knew that she still blamed herself for what happened to Emily last year. No matter how much he or Emily tried to talk her out of it, it was no use. He knew that she would carry it with her forever. That's just how much she loved Emily.

They all took a drive over to see Emily's future home. Gillian had to smile at her youngest daughter's reaction. Arianna smiled and said,"It's beautiful Emily. We get to come stay there?"

Emily nodded and said, "Yeah. Whenever mom and dad need a break or if you guys want to come over and watch movies with me."

Arianna started cheering. The boys copied their sister. Emily couldn't help but smile. She looked at her mom and dad and noticed that they were smiling too. Even though her mom had tears in her eyes. She reached over and took her mom's hand and gave it a small squeeze. She mouthed, "I love you mom."

Gillian nodded and said, "I love you to Em."

"I know. I love you too."

Cal noticed that his wife and daughter were getting emotional. So, he drove back to the house and herded the younger kids into the back of the house. Emily and Gillian went to go sit at the kitchen table.

Emily looked at Gillian and said, "I do love you mom. You know that right?"

"I do. I just..."

"What?"

"I still feel guilty about what happened."

"Mom, if anyone had told me that he would do that I wouldn't have believed them. He was crazy. I'm glad I found it out before I did something crazy like marry him."

Gillian bit her bottom lip and said, "Before you do that you need to bring him home to meet us. Then you need to visit his mom. You can always tell how a man will be by the way he treats his mom and your mom."

Emily studied her for a second and finally said, "Even if dad will give him the third and fourth degree? And the kids will drive him crazy?"

Gillian nodded and said, "Especially. Then you'll know if he likes kids. Anyone that can deal with Arianna, Benjamin and Caleb will make good father material. And any man that can deal with your father..."

Emily laughed, nodded and had to agree. Her sister and brothers were very special to her. Any man that couldn't accept them as a part of her wouldn't be around for very long. Then there was her father. She loved him with all of her heart, but sometimes he was a bit overprotective. Not that it was a bad thing all the time, but sometimes, she could do without the third degree.

Emily's chance at the type of love that Cal and Gillian had would come from the most unlikely of places.

Her dad had called her at work on day and asked her to pick up the kids. The boys had just turned 7 and Arianna was getting ready to turned ten. She'd just picked them up from the Lightman daycare when it happened. She was hurrying to get them out of the building and she ran into a man that she couldn't seem to take her eyes off of. Well, the better way to describe it would be that the kids ran into him.

He had turned the corner and had a trashcan in his hands. Benji and Caleb looked at him and said, "Hi."

He'd smiled at them and said, "Hello. How are you tonight?"

Benji smiled and said, "We're good. Do you work here?"

"I do. How about you?"

Caleb laughed and said, "No silly! We're too little to work here."

The man laughed and said, "You're not so little."

Before they could say anything else, Emily around the corner and said, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you."

She saw him and suddenly felt tongue tied. She opened and closed her mouth a few times. She was sure that she looked stupid. She heard him ask, "Their all yours?"

She shook her head and laughed, "I don't think so! I'm picking them up for my mom and dad."

"Ahhhh, so your parents work here."

Emily smiled and said, "You could say that."

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Brad, Bradley Anderson actually."

Emily swallowed and said, "I'm Emily. Emily Lightman."

Brad smiled and said, "Ahhhhh, so you own this building. I'm sorry for taking up your time."

Emily could sense the change that came over him. She sighed and said, "My dad and mom own the building and the employees work for them, but I don't work here. I just come here every now and then to see them and pick up these guys."

He looked at her and smiled brightly. Then he whispered, "I was afraid that I was out of line. I'm just a janitor after all."

"Hey! That's no way to talk about your job. I think it's honorable."

"You do?"

"Sure. Besides, someone has to do it."

Brad laughed and said, "Look, I know it's a little early to be asking this, but would you mind going out with me sometime?"

She looked at him and something inside her told her to give it a try, but first she had to do what her mom told her. So, she looked at him and said, "I'll go out with you on one condition."

"What's that?"

"You need to come to my house and meet my parents. Have dinner with them and all."

He looked at her for a few seconds. Then he nodded and said, "Okay. How about Friday night? About seven?"

Emily nodded and said, "Sounds great. It was very nice meeting you."

"Same here Emily."

Emily wrote down Gillian and Cal's address and said, "Just rememeber that my dad can spot a lie a mile away."

Brad laughed and said, "I'll keep that in mind."

Emily drove home with a smile on her face the whole way home. She couldn't help but sing along to the songs on the radio.

She got home and was just getting dinner on the table when her Cal and Gillian came into the kitchen. She smiled and said, "You finished early. You're just in time for dinner."

Cal smiled and said, "What are we having?"

Emily smiled and said, "Well, we have mac and cheese, hot dogs, corn and spaghetti."

Cal laughed and said, "That's quite a combination."

Before Emily could say anything else, Arianna piped up, "Emily's got a boyfriend!"

The room suddenly got very, very quiet. Cal and Gillian looked at Emily. Cal finally said, "What's that?"

Emily sighed and said, "He's not my boyfriend. Not yet at least. And before you start questioning me, he's coming over here to meet you guys Friday night at seven. He's really nice."

Cal looked at Gillian and smiled. They'd never met one of Emily's boyfriends. Well, except for Jared and that had turned out terribly. Finally, Gillian said, "Where did you meet him?"

Emily turned to put one of the pots on the table. She whispered, "He works in your office."

Cal furrowed his brow and said, "He works for me?"

"Not exactly."

"Then where exactly does he work? Where did you meet him?"

Emily looked at him and said, "I met him in your office. Now before you go acting all weird, let me tell you that I really like him."

"What does he do for a living?"

"He doesn't really work for you. He's a janitor."

Emily watched her father and noticed a smile that crept up on his face. Then he said, "What's his name?"

"Bradley, but he told me to call him Brad."

Gillian and Cal smiled at each other. Finally, Cal said, "I can't wait until Friday."

Emily watched as he headed up the stairs to put the kids to bed. Emily looked at Gillian and said, "Can you please talk to him? I don't want him embarrassing me."

"I'll try, but you know how your father is."

"Great. Not only is this my first date with him, it's going to be my last."

Gillian laughed and said, "It's not that bad."

Emily threw her hands up in the air and said, "I'm going to bed. Good night."

Gillian laughed as she heard her trudge up the stairs. A few minutes later, she heard her come back downstairs and say, "I forgot, I don't live here anymore. Good night!"

Gillian laughed and in those few seconds, she knew that her daughter was in love.


	24. Bradley Meets Her Father

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love..._**

Gillian was still laughing when Gillian came downstairs a few minutes later. He looked around and asked, "Where's Em?"

Gillian managed to control her laughter enough to say, "She went home."

Cal smiled and said, "Aw, I wanted to talk to her about this Bradley fella."

Gillian's laughter stopped as she said, "Promise me that you'll behave. I think Emily really likes him."

"What? I always behave."

Gillian threw him a _you do_? Kind of look. He couldn't help laugh and say, "Relax, I won't be too hard on him."

"Good. Because this could be Enily's forever love."

Cal looked at her thoughtfully and said, "Why do you say that?"

"She's never brought anyone home to meet us before and the way that she talks about him."

"How so?"

Gillian swallows hard and says, "She looks like I did when I first met you."

They were both quiet for a few minutes. Finally, Cal whispered, "I love you. I'm sorry for everything that happened back then. If I could have changed anything it would be never making the mistake of leaving you."

As he talked, he ran his fingers through her hair. She looked up at him and asked, "The kids asleep?"

Cal nodded and said, "Yeah."

"Good." She leaned back and kissed him softly. She managed to crawl into his lap and straddle his hips. She smiled as she kissed him deeply. Then she felt his tongue slip inside her mouth. She sucked on it softly and he moaned loudly. They pulled back and he whispered, "Upstairs. Now."

Gillian nodded as she slipped off his lap. They held hands as they walked upstairs. Stopping briefly only to lock the front door, they hurried upstairs and shut the door to their bedroom. Once inside, Gillian and Cal were all over each other. Kissing and touching each other. Their clothes were soon in a heap on the floor.

Cal pulled back and looked at his wife and whispered, "God luv, you're so beautiful. I could spend my life with you in bed. Touching you, making love to you."

Gillian nodded and said, "Me too. Everything I want is right here, you. our children. My life is perfect and it's all because of you. I love you Cal. Thank you for making my dreams come true."

Cal shook his head and whispered, "No luv, thank you for making my dreams come true."

They kissed again. However, before they could make love, the phone rang. Cal picked it up and said, "Somebody had better be sick."

"It's Loker. We have a situation here."

Cal sighed and said, "I was kind of busy here. Isn't it something that you can handle?"

"I don't think so. The President has requested you personally."

Cal looked over and Gillian and said, "We'll be there right away."

He hung up the phone and said, "Looks like we're going to have to postpone this luv. It seems that my presence is requested at the White House."

Gillian's eyebrows raised and she said, "Sounds important. Have fun."

Gillian turned over and closed her eyes. Cal laughed as he walked out of the room.

Three days later, it was time for Brad to meet the rest of the Lightman family. Emily had been trying to coach Brad on what to say and do. Finally he just looked at her and said, "Let me handle it Emily. I can do this."

She looked at him and said, "You don't know him very well."

"I'll just tell the truth. That's what he looks for right?"

Emily looked like she was ready to panic and said, "Right, but you don't know the kind of questions he's going to ask you. I haven't taken any of my boyfriend's home since I was fifteen."

Brad laughed and said, "Why?"

"It's only because my father scared them all away! I swear, if he screws this up..."

Brad laughed and said, "Hey! Have a little faith in me."

Emily looked at him and smiled. Then she kissed him softly and said, "I do have faith in you. It's him that I don't have faith in. Well, I have faith that he'll scare you away."

"Em, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

She smiled as he bent to grab the bag of presents that he'd bought for her sister and brothers. She'd wanted to come with him and help, but he'd assured her that he could do it. So, she'd trusted him and let him go shopping himself. This all seemed rather drastic for a first date, but Emily wanted it to be so much more. So, she whispered, "Just remember, I really like you."

Brad smiled and said, "I like you too." Then he turned and walked out of the room. When he got to the door he smiled at her and said, "Are you ready?"

She nodded and headed for the door. She was completely taken by surprise. No one had ever been excited about going and seeing her father before. She had to shake her head and realize that she wasn't dreaming. She followed him and said, "It's your funeral."

She heard him laugh as they walked out the door.

Meanwhile, Cal and Gillian were getting ready to meet him.

Gillian looked at him and said, "Please behave tonight."

Cal looked at her and asked, "Don't I always luv?"

Gillian just gave him one of her, "_You've got to be kidding me." _looks. Then she smiled and said, "Usually, except when it comes to Emily. Then, you're like a papa bear."

Cal looked at her and said, "I've never been compared to a bear before. An ass, but never a bear."

Gillian sighed and said, "You know what I mean Cal Lightman and you know it."

"I know, I just like seeing you all flustered. You look sexy and..."

Gillian growled and said, "I'll show you sexy. If you mess this up for her tonight, I'll..."

Cal was saved from her ranting when the doorbell rang. Cal smiled and said, "I'll get it luv."

Gillian mumbled, "Yeah, you'll get it alright if you don't behave tonight."

Cal looked back at her and said, "You promise luv?"

The doorbell rang again and she said, "Go answer the door Cal!"

Cal laughed and said, "Your wish is my command my dear."

Gillian rolled her eyes and said, "You're impossible."

Cal simply laughed and walked to answer the door. He smiled at Emily and said, "You know, you don't have to be so formal and ring the doorbell. This is still your house Em."

Emily smiled and said, "I know dad, but I thought... I don't know what I thought."

Brad smiled and said, "Hello Mister Lightman, I'm Bradley. Bradley Anderson. It's nice to meet you sir."

Cal looked at him for a good thirty seconds before he said anything. Brad never flinched and he never looked away. Cal smiled and said, "So, Emily tells me you're a janitor. That's hardly a job that can support a family."

Brad smiled and said, "I understand that sir, but I don't plan to be a janitor all my life. I'm working my way through school. I'm studying to be a psychologist. I want to specialize in children issues."

Cal looked at Emily and asked, "Did you tell him about your mom?"

Emily shook her head and said, "After he told me what he was going to school for."

Cal nodded and said, "Okay. Well, come inside. You should meet the rest of the mob before you run for the hills."

Brad laughed and said, "I come for a large family myself. I have five brother and three sisters."

Cal smiled and said, "Well, just wait until you see my group."

Emily and Brad followed him into the living room. Brad smiled at the kids sitting on the couch.

Emily looked at them and then at her mom. Then she asked, "What did you do to them?"

Gillian laughed and said, "Nothing. Your father warned them to be on their best behavior."

That surprised Emily. She turned and said, "Okay guys! Get over here and give your sister a hug!"

It was then that the chaos erupted. They ran over to her and gave her a hug. She smiled and said, "We have presents for you."

They all cheered and Brad handed them to the kids. They smiled at him and said, "Thank you."

Cal smiled and said, "Aren't they the cutest kids you've ever seen."

Brad smiled and said, "They are cute."

Cal prodded him again, "But they are the cutest kids you've ever seen. Don't you agree Brad?"

Brad smiled again and said, "I can't say that sir. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and well, they are all pretty cute."

Cal cocked his head to the side and then he smiled. He stuck his hand out and said, "It's nice to meet you Brad!"

Emily and Gillian let out huge sighs of relief. They knew that Cal had been testing him. And apparently he'd passed whatever test Cal had just given him.

Then Cal said, "This is my wife Gillian."

Emily had told him about Gillian and how she was her stepmother. He smiled and said, "It's very nice to meet you Mrs. Lightman."

Gillian smiled and said, "It's nice to meet you too."

Brad walked into the living room to watch the kids open their gifts. Cal followed behind him keeping a close eye on him. Emily cornered Gillian in the kitchen and said, "What was with the third degree that dad was giving him?"

Gillian smiled and said, "He was testing him. Wanted to see how he reacted to certain things."

Emily sighed and said, "What did that have to do with the kids being cute?"

Gillian laughed and said, "He was testing him to see if he was trying to get on our and your good side. Most men will say that the brothers and sisters or even kids of the women they are dating are the cutest kids ever. Brad answered outside the norm telling us that he's not afraid to speak the truth. Even if it might not be what we want to hear."

Emily smiled and said, "So, did he pass the test?"

Gillian smiled when she heard Cal talking to him in the other room. She pulled Emily over to the doorway and said, "Look for yourself."

There stood Cal and Brad talking. Cal was showing Brad some of the trinkets that he'd collected over the years on his various adventures around the world. Emily smiled at Gillian and said, "I really like him mom."

Gillian smiled and said, "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy sweetheart. If he's the one, then you have my support."

Emily hugged Gillian tightly. Then she whispered to her mom, "I love you. Thank you for being there for me through the years."

Gillian pulled back and said, "Hey! I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I plan on being here for many more years."

Emily nodded and they went to join the men in the living room, laughing as she went...


	25. Christmas With The Lightman's

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love..._**

A year passed and Emily and Brad grew ever closer. So close, that Gillian and Cal knew that it was only a matter of time before they decided to get married.

That day happened on Christmas morning. It was Arianna's tenth birthday and everyone was getting ready for her party. Brad and Emily arrived early so that they kids could open all of their gifts. Gillian noticed that Brad was extremely nervous about something. She thought it was strange because he'd become very comfortable at their house. The guys would disappear into Cal's office while Emily and Gillian would sit and talk.

Gillian noticed that Brad kept wiping his hands on his pants and kept looking at Cal. He had the look of a man that wanted to bolt. Gillian pulled Emily aside and asked, "Is Brad okay?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders and said, "I have no idea. He's acting strange and I can't get him to tell me why."

Gillian looked at her and said, "I wonder what he's up to."

Emily looked at her and said, "I have no idea."

They watched as the men disappeared into Cal's office.

Cal knew that Brad was nervous. He'd been eyeing him all day. Finally, he motioned for him to follow him into his office. Once inside, he said, "Okay, what's wrong?"

Brad looked at him nervously and said, "There's nothing wrong. Not really. I just have something I want to ask you and I'm not sure how to."

"Well, it usually helps to start with, I have a question for you."

Brad laughed and said, "Okay. I know that you know how much I love Emily. I can see myself growing old with her. She's the most important person in my life. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone before. I know that you're very protective of her. I'm glad that she had you for a father and her mother is a wonderful woman."

Cal had to keep from smiling. He knew that Brad was nervous. He smiled and said, "I suggest you spit it out. The women are probably going to come looking for us in a few minutes. Then you will have to wait until we can get away again."

Brad swallowed hard and finally said, "Well, Mister Lightman, I wanted to ask you for Emily's hand in marriage."

Cal was stunned. He'd never thought that Brad would ask him for his permission to marry his daughter. It was at that moment that his respect for the young man grew tenfold. Cal smiled and said, "It would be an honor to have you in our family. You have my blessing."

Cal watched as the younger man let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you."

Cal smiled again and said, "Now, are you wanting to ask her today or did you want to wait until you're alone? Because that might take awhile, you should know that Emily and her mom love Christmas."

Brad smiled and said, "I know that. Trust me she's dragged me to every store in the mall. She's looking for the perfect gift for her mom."

Cal smiled and said, "What did she get her?"

Brad shook his head and said, "I'm not telling. I've been threatened with death if I let it slip before the big reveal."

Cal laughed and said, "Trust me, she will do it too. She's just like her mom. They both take their Christmas shopping seriously. Always have."

Brad smiled and said, "It must be a girl thing. I picked out some things here and there, but I spent the most time picking out her ring."

Cal smiled and said, "You were sure that I'd say yes?"

"I'm relatively sure yes. Should we go out there now?"

Cal smiled and said, "Yeah, but when we do, we should pretend like I've been yelling at you. Make them wonder what's going on. It's always good to keep the Lightman women guessing."

Brad laughed and said, "I'm starting to learn that."

"Are ready to go?"

Brad nodded and said, "Sure am."

Cal opened the door and said, "The next time you want to tell me that kind of rubbish think about who you're talking to!"

Brad looked at Cal and said, "Well excuse me for trying to be original for a change! It won't happen again!"

"Damn right it won't! Because you aren't to set foot in this house ever again!"

Cal noticed that Gillian and Emily had come running into the living room. Gillian looked at Cal and asked, "What are you doing?"

Cal looked at her and said, "Getting rid of this piece of rubbish!"

Brad looked at Cal and said, "Well excuse me for thinking that I could talk to you about anything! I guess I'll try someone more civilized next time!"

Cal looked back and Emily and said, "Why don't you try her then? She seems to have a thing for you!"

Brad looked at her and said, "Maybe I will."

Then Brad turned around, got down on one knee and reached into his pocket. He looked up at Emily and said, "Emily, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You make me incredibly happy. When I'm away from you I can't wait to be with you again."

Cal looked at Gillian and said, "I wish he would just get on with it."

Gillian was slowly starting to understand what was going on. She looked at her husband and said, "Shush!"

Brad smiled and said, "I want the kind of love that your parents have, a forever kind of love. Emily Lightman, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Cal and Gillian watched as their daughter's eyes filled with tears. She looked down at him and said, "Yes! Yes I will!"

Brad looked at her and said, "Really?"

Cal laughed and said, "She said yes man! Put the ring on her bloody finger already!"

Gillian hit him in the ribs with her elbow and said, "Cal, would you let him do it on his own."

Cal looked at her and whispered, "What? He's not doing it right!"

Gillian looked at him and said, "I'm going to wring your neck if you don't stop it!"

Cal smiled and said, "That sounds like it could be fun."

Gillian rolled her eyes and said, "Would you just watch your daughter's big moment please?"

Cal smiled and said, "I'd rather watch you."

"Please!"

Cal smiled and said, "Is that a challenge?"

Gillian smiled and said, "If you want to ever sleep with me again you need to watch this. Then we'll talk about sex."

Cal rubbed his hands together and said, "Good!"

They turned back to Emily and Brad and watched as he slipped the ring onto her hand. She smiled and stood up and kissed him. She was extremely happy as they stood in the middle of her parent's living room.

Gillian had tears in her eyes as Emily came over to show her the ring! She looked at her and asked, "Are you happy sweetheart?"

Emily nodded and said, "I've never been happier mom!"

Gillian hugged her tightly as they sat to open the rest of their presents! Emily swallowed hard and said, "Mom, I have a special present for you."

Emily walked over to the tree and picked up a medium sized box sitting under the tree. She carried it over to Gillian and handed it to her. She smiled and said, "This is just a little something for you. I've sort of been making this for the past few years. I just had to find the perfect thing to put it in."

Gillian smiled as she opened the box and saw something sitting inside of the box. Inside sat a engraved silver photo album. The inscription read, "Thanks For All The Wonderful Memories Mom. I Love You, Emily."

Gillian eyes filled with tears as she opened the photo album. It was filled with pictures from their life together. Pictures of them before Zoe passed away, photos of a young Emily and Gillian at the Lightman group. Gillian looked at Cal and asked, "Did you know about this?"

Cal simply smiled and said, "I might have known a bit about it, the pictures at least."

Gillian flipped through it more and saw that it was filled with more pictures. Most were candid shots of the two of them together. By the time Gillian reached the end, she was a blubbering mass of tears. She looked at Emily and said, "This is the best gift I've ever gotten. I love you so much!"

The girls stood up and hugged. Cal and Brad smiled at the women they loved.

Then Emily said, "I couldn't have asked for a better mom. Thank you for stepping up and being a mom to me. I will always look to you as the type of wife and mother I want to be. You're a sensitive and remarkable woman. Another woman might not have been so accepting of the daughter of a woman that broke her and her soul mate apart all those years ago. You never thought about that. You never hated me. You never..."

That was the point that Emily broke into tears. Great gulping sobs. She knew that this was just a small token of her love for her mom. They hugged again and then Gillian said, "I love you Em. You're your father's daughter. I've loved your father for years. Besides, you made it easy to love you. I love you because of your spunk."

Cal watched two of the important women in his life had a heart to heart talk with each other. He knew that they'd always loved each other. Something about the gift had touched him to. Even he felt his eyes water as he watched the exchange. He even noticed Brad wiping his eyes a time or two.

Finally the women separated and the rest of the day went on without incident. They had a wonderful dinner and then celebrated Arianna's birthday later in the day.

That night after everyone had left and the kids were in bed, Gillian sat on the couch looking at the Christmas tree. The rest of the lights were turned out and she stared at one of the ornaments. It was one of the first ones that Emily had given her after she and Cal had gotten married. It was before Arianna had been born.

She'd always loved Emily. She was like the daughter that she'd never had. While she was never jealous of Zoe, she did hate her for what she'd taken away from her all those years ago. Although, she knew that somehow everything she'd went through back then had brought her to this point.

Cal came into the living room and slipped beside her and smiled as he kissed her neck. She looked back at him and smiled. She loved him just as much today as she did all those years ago. It was something that she never failed to remember each time they kissed and especially whenever they made love.

Gillian smiled when Cal whispered, "I want to make love to you. Right here in the living room."

Gillian smiled and ran her hands through his hair. She wanted that too, more than ever. She smiled when she felt him hands run up and down her thigh. She shivered a bit when his hand pushed her thighs apart. She felt his hand rub against her panties. He looked her in the eyes and whispered, 'God Gilly, you're so damn wet."

She nodded and smiled softly. Then she whispered, 'I've wanted you to touch me like this all night."

Cal's eyebrows rose up and he smiled when he said, "Really? How very naughty Gilly."

She giggled and said, "Oh yes, you make me very naughty Cal."

She moaned softly as he lightly traced a trail up and down the lips to her opening. Then, she felt one finger enter her. She threw her head back and whisper, "Oh Cal."

Smiling, Cal found her clit and stroked it softly. She felt as if her body was on fire. A slow molten fire that settled down in her stomach and spread like wildfire down to her very center. Then Cal whispered, "I want to taste you Gilly."

She nodded and whispered, "I want you to Cal. Please?"

Cal kissed her way down her body. He pushed up her skirt and gently pushed her legs apart. He pulled her to closer to him. He breathed in the scent that made up her. Then he whispered, "God, you're so beautiful sweetheart."

Gillian could only moan and run her hands through his hair. Then, she felt Cal's lip dart out to taste her. She moaned at the sudden contact. She whispered, "Oh Cal."

Cal smiled as he moved forward and licked her softly. Using his tongue, he searched out her clit. Finding it, he flicked it softly at first. Then, spurred on by her moans, he licked a bit faster. Then, he captured the little nub between his teeth and sucked a bit harder. She moaned loudly as he pushed two fingers inside her. He knew that she was close to cumming and he couldn't wait to help her. So, he pushed his fingers in deeper and sucked her harder. She moaned loudly and her muscles clamped down on his fingers. She lifted off the couch and said, "Ohhhhhhhhh! God Cal!"

He hummed on her clit and drove her further over the edge. Once she finally came down from the buzz, she looked down at him and said, "I love you."

He climbed back up to her and kissed her deeply. He knew that she loved the taste of herself on his tongue. She pulled back and said, "God! I love you. You make me feel so wonderful."

Cal looked at her and said, "You make me feel alive again."

Gillian looked at her and said, "Take me upstairs and make love to me."

Cal smiled and said, "With pleasure. I'll make love to you again and again."

Gillian smiled and got up and ran up the stairs. Cal smiled at her energy, followed her up the stairs and whispered, "I love that woman."


	26. Memories

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love..._**

The next morning they got a call from Emily. She sounded happy and Gillian said, "I'll get your dad."

Emily stopped her by saying, "I actually wanted to talk to you mom."

"You do?"

Emily smiled and said, "Yeah. I had a great time last night. I just wanted to make sure that my gift didn't upset you too much. It felt like the perfect gift at the time and..."

Gillian smiled and said, "Em, it was the perfect gift. Nothing has made me feel more special. I love you Em. Never doubt that."

She could hear the smile in her voice as Emily said, "Good. I was just worried."

Gillian smiled and said, "That's because you're like your father. You're a worrier. Always have been always will be."

Emily laughed and said, "I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

Gillian smiled and said, "It could be either one. Just depends on the situation."

They talked for a few more minutes and then Gillian hung up the phone. She smiled at Cal sleeping beside her. She closed the distance between them and snuggled close to him, missing the warmth that his body brought her. She felt him arm drape over her waist. She smiled as he kissed her softly.

Then she heard him whisper, "Is Emily okay?"

Gillian nodded and said, "She's fine. She just needed to talk."

Cal nodded and said, "I'm glad she has you to talk to luv."

Gillian nodded and thought back to a time when she wasn't sure if Emily was going to talk to her ever again. It was shortly after Arianna was born. Cal had been sent overseas and hadn't wanted Emily to worry about him. So, he'd asked Gillian to not tell her. Gillian hadn't wanted to, but despite everything telling her that she shouldn't, she kept it a secret.

As she knew would happen, Emily found out. She'd looked at Gillian and said, "I can't believe that you lied to me again. I..."

Before Gillian could say anything to defend herself, Emily had turned around and walked out of the room. She'd waned to run after Emily and tell her that she was sorry, that her father had asked her to lie to her about where he really was. She also knew that she would never do that. She wouldn't take the blame off of herself. She'd rather Emily hate her forever, rather than her hating Cal. So, she'd sighed and waited for Emily to get to her car that night so she could take her home.

They'd ridden home in silence that night. Emily not wanting to speak to her and Gillian was afraid to, afraid that she'd end up begging Emily for forgiveness. She sighed and prayed that somehow Emily would forgive her.

It took Emily a long time. It was sometime after Cal had gotten home. Emily had barely talked to her, unless her father was around. Then, she would say just enough to get by. Gillian had grown used to the cold shoulder. Truthfully, she thought that she deserved part of it.

The end of the cold shoulder came one day when Emily came home from school. She was upset about something, but Gillian knew better than to ask her about it. So, instead Gillian sat on the couch and read her book. She sensed Emily come into the room. She still didn't say anything, but waited for Emily to reach out to her.

"Gillian. Can we talk?"

Gillian simply looked at her and said, "Okay."

Emily looked down at the ground and said, "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was just hurt that you didn't tell me about dad. I know that he asked you not to, but I..."

Gillian nodded and said, "I understand. I'm sorry for keeping it from you. I..."

Emily leaned forward and hugged her. Gillian smiled and said, "I love you Emily. Never forget that. Sometimes, I have to keep things from you, but it is for your own good. I know it might not seem like it at the time, but it is."

Emily nodded and said, "I'm sorry for acting like a baby."

Gillian smiled and said, "Don't think about it again! I love you!"

They hugged and Gillian was brought back to the present when she heard Cal whisper, "You in there luv?"

Gillian smiled and said, "I'm here. I was just daydreaming."

Cal looked at her and laughed, "About me huh?"

Gillian laughed and said, "Always!"

"You're not a very good liar you know. You forget that I can read you like a book."

Gillian shrugged and said, "Just thinking back about Emily and me."

Cal hugged her tight and kissed her softly. Then he whispered, "You two sure have come a long way. If it had been up to her mom the two of you would have hated each other. Thank goodness Emily had other plans. She sensed something special in you."

Gillian smiled and said, "She's a special woman."

"I know. She takes after me."

Gillian laughed and said, "There was so much that we missed out on because of Zoe and what she did. But you know something?"

Cal looked at her and asked, "What?"

Gillian smiled and said, "I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Because then we wouldn't have Emily and then, who knows if we'd have Arianna, Benjamin and Caleb."

Cal hugged her tightly. He knew exactly what she was talking about. They'd made some many choices in the past. Some good, some not so good, but they'd all led back to where they were right now. Gillian and Cal laying in bed together late at night. She turned in his arms and said, "I feel like I say this too much, but I love you, so much."

Cal smiled at her and said, "Even if you said it a million times a day I wouldn't tire of hearing it. I love you too, more than anything. I never want to do anything to hurt you. I wish I could go back and undo all the hurt that I caused you back when we were younger. That's the only regret that I have from that time. I know how much I hurt you and it kills me. I love you so much Gilly."

Cal let himself think back to that time. It truly was one of the worst memories of his life. He knew that if he had the chance to do it over again, he probably would, but then he wouldn't have his oldest daughter.

Zoe had called him and gave him the news that she was pregnant and he was going to be a father. Truthfully, he'd nearly forgotten about her. She'd been a mistake that he'd made and knew that he didn't feel anything close to love for her. Then, when he met Gillian, it was like a breath of fresh air. He'd felt alive and free for the first time in his life. He would hurry to get ready for their frequent dates. He'd never known such happiness like he'd had with her.

For six months, they'd had a wonderful romance. He'd been close to asking her to marry him. It was then that the bottom dropped out of both of their worlds.


	27. The Big Day

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love..._**

He knew that he had to do the right thing. His pride wouldn't allow him to abandon the mother of his child. Even if he didn't love her, maybe with time, he would come to love her. He just never counted the effect that Gillian's reaction would have on him for the rest of his life.

When he'd told her, the look on her face had nearly killed him. Even though she hadn't laid a finger on him, it felt as if she'd punched him in the gut. All the air was removed from his body and he was left standing there wondering if maybe, just maybe, he was doing the wrong thing.

Then he'd whispered words that sounded hollow, even to him, "I'm sorry Gill...I..."

When she looked at him again, it was with eyes filled with hatred. She spat out, "Don't call me that. You don't have any right to call me that. I hate you Cal Lightman and I never want to see you again."

He'd accepted his fate. Because of him being an ass, he knew that he'd lost out on something special with her, something that could have lasted a lifetime.

When he'd walked into the conference room to meet her after all those years, to talk about forming their own company, he was surprised that she'd agreed to listen to him. He could tell that she still didn't trust him. He couldn't say that he blamed her. He'd betrayed her once. She had no reason to believe that he wouldn't do it again. The only thing he could do was promise her that she had ever reason in the world to trust him.

They'd slowly built up their trust in each other, finally, realizing that they were the other's soul mate. Thankfully, she'd been there when Zoe had been killed. He would hate to think what would have happened to him and Emily if she hadn't been there for both of them. She'd been their rock during that particular tragedy.

So many memories had been built in the past few years. Some good, some not so good, most were just part of everyday life. Cal smiled as he watched her sleep. He loved her with a ferocity that he'd never felt before. He knew that he would give his life to protect her. He smiled and kissed her on the forehead and laid his head down close to her, finally falling asleep a few minutes later.

Emily was married in a small ceremony in Cal and Gillian's backyard. She was a beautiful bride. Gillian helped her get ready and knew that the only thing Emily regretted was that Zoe couldn't be here to see her getting married.

Gillian had smiled and said, "I have something for you."

Emily looked at her and asked, "What?"

Gillian swallowed and held out a small box. Emily scrunched her forehead up and asked, "What's that mom?"

Gillian smiled and said, "It belong to your mom."

Emily's eyes started to fill with tears as she said, "What?"

Gillian led her over to the couch and sat her down. She opened the small box and showed Emily to contents. Inside, was a small, but very beautiful opal and diamond ring. Emily's breath caught in her throat and she said, "That's pretty."

Gillian nodded and said truthfully, "It is. It belonged to your mom. Your father said that she wanted you to have it on your wedding day. Her mom gave it to her on her wedding day. It's kind of a family tradition."

Emily stared at her and then at the ring. She shook her head and said, "I can't take it."

Gillian asked, "Why?"

"Because, you're my mom now and I don't want to hurt your feelings and..."

Gillian stopped her by saying, "Emily, I know that I'm your mom. I will always love you and I know that you love me, but that doesn't change the fact that she gave birth to you. I won't ever and don't ever want to take her place."

"But..."

Gillian smiled and said, "Listen to me Em. This is part of your past Emily, an important part. If I asked you to deny this, then what kind of mother would I make?"

Emily nodded and said, "I understand, but I love you and..."

Gillian smiled and said, "And I love you. I want you to take this. Your mom loved you. Despite anything that she did to you or anyone else she loved you more than you'll ever know."

Emily smiled and said, "And she was pretty funny at times."

Gillian nodded and said, "She was, although she usually didn't let me see that part of her."

Emily smiled sadly and said, "I'm sorry that you and my mom didn't get along. She wasn't always bad you know."

Gillian nodded softly and said, "I know. I just seem to bring out the worst in people."

Emily laughed and said, "You do not!"

They hugged and Cal popped his head in the room. He said, "The minister says that they're ready. Are you ready sweetheart?"

Emily looked at her mom and dad and nodded. She was ready to start the next chapter of her life. She looked at them and said, "I'm ready, but I just wanted to let you guys know how much I love you, both of you!"

She ran into both of their arms. Gillian smiled and said, "Hey! No more crying! I don't want you to mess up your makeup."

Emily nodded and said, "Okay."

Cal, Gillian and Emily disappeared behind the door.


	28. Changes & Decisions

**_Remember, I own nothing and reviews are love..._**

Fast forward two years later. Gillian was slumped over the toilet. She'd just spent the last two hours emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl. Cal had tried to be supportive, but there's very little a man can do when he's ready to get sick simply from looking at her getting sick. So, he sat out in their bedroom, waiting patiently for her.

When she emerged, she looked weak and pale. Cal looked at her and said, "Maybe you should stay home luv."

Gillian shook her head and said, "I don't need to stay home. I need to go to the doctor. I've been sick for the past three days."

Cal nodded and said, "I called her and the nurse said they could fit you in at two today."

Gillian nodded and said, "Good. Brad and Emily are coming over for dinner tonight and I don't want to get sick in the middle of dinner."

Cal nodded and said, "I don't think that's the way to make a good impression."

Gillian shot him a dirty look and said, "That's not helping."

Cal laughed and said, "Sorry luv."

Gillian nodded and said, "Let's just get out of here.. We're already late."

Cal laughed and said, "Yes dear."

"I'll yes dear you. Get going!"

Cal smiled and said, "I love it when you get rough!"

Gillian rolled her eyes and said, "You're impossible."

"You know that you love me that way!"

"That remains to be seen."

They finally got into the car. They drove in relative silence finally they got to the building and walked inside. At one, Gillian left to go to her doctor's office.

At four, she sat in her car. She knew that she had to get going soon. She'd been sitting there for nearly forty five minutes. She wasn't able to move. She couldn't think. She'd been stunned with the news that he doctor had given her. She drove on auto pilot to the office. She saw Cal waiting for her and felt guilty.

He looked at her and said, "You okay luv?"

She nodded and said, "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

She shook her head and started crying. Cal climbed into the car quickly and said, "Okay, so you're not okay. What's wrong?"

Gillian shook her head. Cal sighed and said, "Bloody hell luv! You tell me there's nothing wrong, but then you start crying. What's wrong? Whatever it is, I'm going to be here for you."

"I know you will. It's just... I can't believe it. I keep hoping that the doctor is wrong. I can't be..."

Cal looked at her and asked, "Can't be what?"

She sighed and said, "I'm three months pregnant Cal."

Cal felt like he'd been hit by a semi truck. Finally, he whispered, "Are you sure?"

Gillian nodded and said, "The doctor did the test three times. I wouldn't let him leave until he did."

Cal laughed and said, "You are persistent."

In spite of the situation, Gillian laughed and said, "And you're bullheaded."

"Guilty as charged."

Gillian looked at him and asked, "What are we going to do Cal? We're too old for this."

Cal smiled and said, "Obviously we aren't. Do you want the baby?"

Gillian bit her bottom lip. She thought back to her other pregnancies and smiled. Once the intial morning sickness was over, she loved being pregnant. Then she thought back to when the twins were born and how she almost died. She looked at him and said truthfully, "I do, but I'm scared Cal."

Cal nodded and said, "Me too luv. I remember what happned when the boys were born. I'd never been so scared in all my life. The thought of losing you..."

Cal's voice faded away and he put his hand on her flat stomach. Then she whispered, "I don't know if I'm strong enough for this again Cal."

"Me either luv."

They each knew that the other was telling the absolute truth. They'd been through hell with the boys and had tried had to prevent another pregnancy. However, there was little they could do about protection when they made love the night of the office Christmas party.

They arrived home with just enough time for Gillian to put dinner on to was almost ready when Emily and Brad arrived at the house. They made small talk and then as Gillian was carrying the casserole dish to the table, Emily blurted out, "Mom, dad! I can't wait any longer! I'm pregnant!"

Gillian couldn't help what happened next. She dropped the dish and the casserole dish shattered into a thousand pieces.

Cal, Brad and Emily looked at her and noticed that shocked look on her face. She managed to mumble out, "Sorry. I..."

She turned and ran up the stairs before any of them could see the tears on her face. She vaguely remembers hearing Cal say, "I'll go check on her."

She shut the door quietly and threw herself onto the bed. She great gulping sobs. Could this day possibly get any worse? She didn't think so. She heard Cal walk into the room and felt his hands on her back. He whispered softly, "It's okay luv. We can order Thai."

She didn't look at him as she whispered, "It's not that. I just..."

"What?"

"I'm too old to have a baby. This should be Emily's time and hers alone. I can't tell them I'm having a baby too. She'll hate me forever."

That's when they heard her say, "You're having a baby too mom?"

Gillian realized that the night could get worse. It just possibly had. Not wanting to see the emotions on Emily's face, she kept her eyes closed and said, "Yes..."

Emily surprised them all when she squealed and said, "That's sooooo cool! When are you due mom? I'm due late September."

Gillian looked at her daughter in amazement and said, "You're happy about this? I thought for sure that you'd be mad at me. Hate me even."

Gillian heard her laugh and say, "You're kidding right mom? I think it's just about the best thing to ever happen to us. Of course, it's a bit weird to be pregnant at the same time you are, but it's still really cool."

Gillian laughed and said, "You amaze me Emily. Most girls would want this as their special time."

Emily laughed and said, "Heck no! There's no one I'd rather go through this with. I could do without the morning sickness, but once that's over, it's going to be so cool."

Gillian turned to face Emily and saw nothing but the truth in her face. She listened as she went on and on about how it was so awesome that her sister and her baby were going to grow up together. That was something super special, at least according to Emily. Then she realized something, "Mom! That baby is my baby's niece or nephew! Wow! This just keeps getting better and better."

Gillian stopped her and said, "Don't get to excited Em. We aren't sure if we are going to have the baby."

Emily looked at her with an incredulous stare. She finally whispered, "No..."

Then she hurried down the stairs and they heard the door of the house open and close. Gillian knew that she shouldn't have broken the news to her that way, but they had to find out if it was safe for Gillian to carry the baby to term. She looked at Cal and said, "Go after her. Explain it to her Cal."

Cal nodded and headed downstairs. Once again looking for his oldest daughter, he found her sitting on the swing set in the backyard. He sat down next to her. After a few minutes he whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I guess. It just shocked me to hear mom say that she might not keep the baby. How could she kill the baby? It's my little brother or sister? How could she kill the baby?"

Cal closed his eyes and whispered, "The baby could kill her Em. Remember what happened when the boys were born? Remember how we almost lost her?"

Emily's hands covered her mouth and she gasped. Her face crumpled and she whispered, "Oh God! I totally forgot about that dad..."

"It's okay Em. We have to talk to a specialist tomorrow. To find out what the risks are to your mom and the baby. We don't want to risk either one of them. I can't lose her Em. Twelve years with her is not nearly enough."

Emily nodded and said, "I'm sorry dad. I was just so happy about our babies growing up together that I forgot about everything else. I have to go tell her I'm sorry."

Cal smiled and said, "I think that would be a good idea. I'll order us some Thai food."

Emily scrunched her nose at that and said, "Can you make it something else? My stomach isn't exactly feeling all that great. Maybe Chinese."

Cal smiled and said, "Sure thing luv. Oh and Em?"

"Yeah dad?"

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too dad."

Emily turned and hurried upstairs to her parent's bedroom. She knocked on the door and heard Gillian say, "Come in."

Emily rushed in and climbed onto the bed and whispered, "I'm sorry mom... I totally forgot about everything that happened when the boys were born. I was just so excited about our babies growing up together..."

Gillian smiled and said, "I know sweetie. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to do this Emily."

Emily stared up at the ceiling and said, "You are mom. You just don't realize it, but remember one thing."

"What's that?"

"All of us love you. We couldn't live without you mom. You have to come first. If it means losing you or the baby..."

Gillian knew what Emily was going to say but couldn't. She'd rather have her. Gillian realized then how much Emily loved her. She also realized just how much she loved Emily.

They were still staring at the ceiling and hour later when the rest of the family came looking for them. Cal looked at the others and said, "I think they're awake. I'll poke them and find out."

Gillian felt Cal's finger poke her side and she swatted his hand away and laughed as she said, "I am awake Cal."

Cal laughed and said, "Foods here."

The ladies simply smiled and then Gillian said, "You guys go ahead and eat. We'll be down in a bit."

Gillian laughed as she heard Cal remark, "I'll never understand those two. You'd think they were pregnant or something."

Gillian and Emily looked at each other and for some reason, they started laughing uncontrollably. The laughter lasted for about five minutes. Only stopping when Gillian looked at Emily and asked, "You hungry yet?"

Emily nodded and said, "I'm starving."

Gillian sat up and said, "Let's go downstairs and get some food."

Emily nodded and followed her downstairs. All the other kids were there and everyone was talking and laughing. Cal caught Gillian's eye and smiled. She smiled back and mouthed, "I love you."

Cal smiled and mouthed, "Love you too."

Emily noticed the interaction between her parents and smiled. She knew that they were very happy together and was glad that their marriage had last all of these years. They had a wonderful relationship and she knew that no matter what happened in their lives, they were always there for each other. This was just another one of those things that they had to go through on their journey in this lifetime.


End file.
